Roxas left me for a guy, so I guess that means I'm messed up. I sighed and watched as his train left. He's moving somewhere completely new to start a new life with his gay lover. It's a bit disappointing but I was just going against hope wanting to believe that it wasn't true when it just was, I didn't turn him gay, he just always was into men. There was nothing I could do. Hayner had Seifer and Pence was after Aerith.
I'm not here.
I've never been here but that's alright, I never blamed anyone or got upset. I was just me and that's all there is to it. Me being me in a world without love. No one ever loved me, but I never cared, not really. There was never anyone I wanted to love me. Who out there would want someone as normal and dull like me? I'm just a nobody. I don't even know if I have a heart after all this.
I took a deep breath and lifted my hand to the sky, looking at how black it is in front of the sun, what if it turned out that I was never here to begin with? What if I never existed and am just pretending I do? Or maybe this is all a dream a somebody is having, a living nightmare waiting to wake up.
I don't know, but I want to keep living and going through the motions of it. If I don't exist then I should live like someone no one notices. I still don't know why they bothered with me. I'm not anything special… did they need someone to do their homework or force them to work? I think so, but even if that's true, I will never regret my time with them.
Sighing I walked through the streets trying to think of something to do next. I don't know what I'm going to do now but I might as well start looking. Heading down the street I looked up at the sky feeling like I'm all alone right now. It's like I'm not even here anymore. I sighed and sat down on a bench letting time roll over me.
"I'm not real, am I?" A girl cried in the middle of the street looking seriously angrily. She has straight blond hair with blue eyes but for some reason she looked as though she were crying. I watched her walk up to strangers and ask if they think she's really here. They walked past and tried to ignore her. It's only natural. "I get it! I'm just a nobody aren't I? I'm not really here, I'm not even supposed to exist!" She screamed making me look at her once again.
She's wearing a white dress with sandals, looking innocent as can be but it's obvious that she's insane. If the screaming wasn't a hint the notebook she was burning is another. It looked like a sketchbook of some sort. It's obvious she cares about it but for some reason she's still lighting it on fire like it's of no value to her.
"What are you doing? Screaming about no one seeing you and burning something so precious… why are you doing this?" I asked standing up and staring at the madness this girl is creating. The blond looked over at me and then looked down at the ground as tears poured down her cheeks.
"My name is Namine and I'm not real. None of this is real or maybe all of it is but I'm not… all I know is that after everything I've gone through and seen… I'm really not here." She whispered and collapsed in front of me. I began to shake slightly and stared at the girl before. Not here? That's… like me in a way. I'm never here, not really. Everyone looks through me because I'm reliable Olette, I'm just the girl that makes sure everyone finishes their homework. After that I'm just the girl who helps them study. When school ends what will I do then?
"I'm Olette and I think I'm not real either. Have we ever been here?" I asked her softly with a bitter smile. Namine looked up at me with a look of understanding and love. Instantly she reached up and kissed me. It felt… like something. It was a something I haven't felt in a long time.
I felt like I was real.
"We aren't here… so can we be not here together?" Namine whispered and kissed me once again. I nodded and pulled her in tighter. The warmth of the town and the crowded sidewalks of somebodies, and in all this no one looked over at us. No one noticed two girls kissing and how they tried to get closer and closer pulling themselves into a new world of just them.
They didn't notice because in the end, there's nothing to notice. We're nobodies.
I walked her to my place after finding out that she ran away from her own. Her old boyfriend wanted nothing to do with her, so now she's looking for someone new. We're lucky we found each other because I'm pretty sure there's no one else in the world like us. As nobodies and people who don't exist, you can only imagine how many there are in reality. We aren't here.
I smiled at Namine and intertwined our fingers. It doesn't matter if we aren't here, because in the end we have something no one else does.
We are the only two people with hearts.
