Re-read The Secret Story and I can't help but wonder what would have happened next... so here is what happens in my head? The series Mates, Dates belongs to Cathy Hopkins; I do not own the characters.

Can't believe I finally made it! The classes are different but I'm settling in rather well. I feel so old, saying I'm a university student! Save me :(

Miss you. Hope to see you soon.

Tony.

My heart thumped. I re-read the postcard, twice, thrice... seven times. Had I done the right thing, putting us, me and him, Tony and Lucy, Lucy and Tony, to a halt as he went off to university and I continued on in my studies? Ever since that day, that discussion, I had thought of so many other things I could have said – I think we can work it out, let's do this, Don't go, I need you with me, I think I'm ready, I'm scared, I think I might… love you – but I never had the guts to call him and say what I really thought.

That's not exactly the signs of a happy and healthy base to a relationship, is it?

I was scared. Perhaps of rejection, what's to say – months down the line – that he gives up because I don't want to go further yet? Perhaps of the fact that I truly and deeply loved him (yes, love!) and how can you be in a relationship with someone where you're afraid to tell them simply (because it is simple) that you just… love them?

My phone rang, alerting me back into reality. Uugh. School.

"Hey, Lucy," Nesta's voice crackled through my phone. "You excited? FINALLY, we're in year 11! It won't be long till we're graduating and off to college!"

I was excited, but it was such a big change- I couldn't help but worry and fret about the possibility of failing my exams, and – most importantly – there was the college and courses choices still to come. The fact that Izzie, Nesta, T.J and myself might not be together after this last year of high school frightened me very, very much.

"Sure!" I laughed nervously, hoping she wouldn't pick up on my fake and jittery happy voice. She didn't and instead went into a full blown detail about how she was going to get a haircut and that this was the year for the 'new Nesta!'.

Classes were starting again tomorrow (eek!) and so Nesta had planned to visit a hairdresser today. The four of us had decided to go out together and shop for a bit too and just have a good laugh before we were all back in school.

Nesta, gorgeous as always, was dressed to impress and when I saw her she was already getting a phone number off a cute boy. Izzie, who was stood next to her, grinned and rolled her eyes at me. T.J arrived a couple of minutes after me and after hugging each other, we linked arms and got ready to shop and have fun!

8th September; 7am

Ready to go to school! First day of my last year. I can do this. I can do this.

8th September; 3pm

MY. LIFE. IS. OVER. I. CANNOT. DO. THIS.

"It wasn't that noticeable…" Izzie, who was patting my shoulder soothingly, sent me a small smile. I scowled at her and she swallowed nervously.

"Really?"

She was silent for a few seconds and that was all I needed. With a loud groan and a sigh, that could easily have mirrored Hamlet as he droned 'O, woe is me!', I fell onto my bed and wished for nothing more than for my pillows to suffocate me.

"That was just one mishap… you still have the rest of the year for him to see how amazing you are."

I had entered school that morning ready to ace my classes and just be an amazing and cool student. I was doing fine, great actually, until he arrived.

He was a divine looking red haired boy, with freckles lightly scattered on his fair cheeks and nose. He just seemed to ooze elegance as he walked coolly down the corridor, his new backpack swaying from behind him as he checked a piece of paper that was clutched in his right hand. He had to be new, I was certain that I would have remembered such a heavenly face before.

Although he was no Tony (he would always be my MC), this guy was a definite 10 / 11

It must have been so obvious; me gawking at him with my mouth wide open… Izzie had pulled at my sleeve gently (probably before I could make a fool of myself) but it had been too late. Cute ginger guy had spotted me and knew that I was looking at him like a love-obsessed twelve year old.

He grinned at me. "Alright?"

His question had astounded me. I felt my face redden with embarrassment.

"Uuurghh…" I squeaked out at him, waving my hand daftly at him (as if to say Hi! I'm a lunatic!). He swiftly and coolly repeated the action; a laugh escaped his lovely looking lips as he did so.

I didn't know what else to do. I was frozen right then and there so I just stared at him. His grin faded slightly when I said nothing to him, or did nothing (not even crack a smile) and so, after a few seconds of the two of us just numbly staring at each other, he just gave me a strange look, nodded and walked away.

He threw out a suave "Later," as he turned his back to me and I couldn't help but watch as he walked away from me. Half of me wanted to chase after him, grab onto his legs and profusely apologise and introduce myself as the cool and flirty Lucy Lovering. The other half of me just wanted to run away and cry in a corridor far, far away from here. I weighed out the pros and cons in my head… it was a no brainer. So I chose the latter.

The girls had understood that I needed a few moments to myself and had told our English teacher I was just on an errand for another teacher. Ten minutes after the bells had rung I felt like I could show my face to the world again. And, besides, it wasn't like that new guy would be in my class!

I stumbled through the door and sucked in a breath.

"Ah, Lucy! Wonderful of you to join us." Mr Geeting said, alerting the class so everyone looked up, including cute ginger guy who was sat in the middle next to a blushing Miranda Shore. He raised an eyebrow at me and then went back to his book.

Weak from humiliation, I hurried to my desk (which OF COURSE would be right behind his). He didn't pay me any attention so with a huff I decided two could play at that game. I've already had lessons with the master.

Just at the thought of Tony made my feet curl miserably. I missed him so much… but he was probably having loads of fun without me. He would have met so many pretty and sexy university girls who were a thousand times better than me.

"The next time you meet him," T.J's voice rang through my daydream, recalling me back to my bedroom where I was surrounded by my three friends. "You just have to be yourself. Wow him with your Lucy loveliness."

Nesta nodded her head in agreement. "And he did say 'Alright' to you, so he must have been interested."

Yeah, I thought gloomily, was interested… until I opened up my mouth and out came so much gobbildly goop from the Planet 'I suck!'.

Nesta patted my back and changed the subject. 'Isn't Frank Haverly looking gorgeous?'. The three of them were suddenly onto a debate about which guy they wished they could get with this year.

That night I dreamed of Tony. He was waving at me, giving me that wonderful and sunshine bright smile, of his. He pulled me into a warm and loving hug. A flutter of kisses on my cheeks, nose, chin and neck… his warm hands rubbing my back tenderly… But then his attention turned to a tall and curvy brunette who was wearing a tight red dress. He looked at me, then her… dropped his hands off me, like I was revolting, and turned instantly to this other girl.

They started to kiss ferociously in front of me, him holding her in ways he had never held me, touching her and kissing her with so much force that I was slowly forgetting how to breathe.

"STOP!" I shouted at them. But it was no use, I was too far away. When I tried to reach out and pull them apart the new ginger guy suddenly appeared in front of me. He gave me a sneer. "Who would ever want to go out with you?"

His cruel laugh was soon joined by Tony's and the girl he was with, their laughs only intensifying when tears started to roll down my cheeks.

I woke with a jerk. With sweat pouring down my face and body, I glanced at the clock. It was 4am and my phone was buzzing violently.

"Luuuucccccyyyyyy." Tony's voice drawled out, he was somewhere loud with music and I could hear people in the background laughing.

"Tony, it's 4am…" My body was still shaking from my nightmare and just hearing his voice was bringing tears to my eyes.

"Did I ever tell you thzat I missf youf?"

He was drunk. I reeled back from my bed. Tony had said to me once that he hardly ever drank… but when he did he had such a good holding for liquor and alcohol that he was never usually intoxicated.

Before I could say anything I heard a girl laughing next to him. "Tony!" She said in this sweet voice. He laughed. She laughed. And then the call ended.