Author's notes/Warnings:
Oh, hello, there.
This is an idea that came to me that I fleshed out while I was battling writers block. Ah, that heartless bitch, writers block.
Anyway, this story is rated M for alcohol abuse, mentions of child rape, and other general smuttiness.
It was early morning when he retired to his rooms, craving the solitude, but also dreading it.
He had the title he'd worked his life for, the ships, the army, the power, but as soon as the Falcon's doors closed in his face, he'd realized he didn't want it anymore. And, he knew that thoughts and dreams of what he really wanted would keep him awake as he tried desperately to sleep, images of a future he'd never have cruelly mocking him.
Since Crait, he'd fallen into a routine of working until he was so weary he could barely stand, sometimes days at a time, and returning to his room and drinking until he passed out or her face, ever present behind his lids when he closed his eyes, faded.
More often than not, he'd fall onto his bed, welcoming sleep, but the dreams of her, of them, hurt worse than the reality, and he'd wake up, drenched in sweat, with his head pounding, clutching at his aching chest as he tried to catch his breath.
When he turned the knob and opened the door to his bedroom, he didn't expect to find a woman standing next to his bed.
He'd had women before Star Killer Base. Before Rey nearly cleaved his face in two, and infected his heart with her light. Those encounters had been nothing but emotionless release. But, something he'd seen in Rey's mind when he was interrogating her changed him.
Plutt started telling her, at the age of eight years old, that she should sell herself to the highest bidder, and that she would never have to worry about portions again. She'd refused, saying she'd rather starve and that grotesque creature that owned her made it a point to barely give her enough to survive for years, hoping she'd give in.
Ben had gone to that miserable sand box after Star Killer Base and ran him through with his lightsaber, hacking at his lifeless corpse until his arms ached.
And, after Crait, his new title came with certain perks, and several young virgins had been bought to serve as his concubines.
But, those girls, none older than nineteen, had been dumped into his room, wearing next to nothing and he'd dismissed them all, without bedding them, and paid their maiden prices the next day, freeing them from a lifetime of prostitution.
But not the woman standing in front of him.
He'd known her for nearly a decade, having met her the night he pledged his alliance to Snoke, when she had been gifted to him.
She'd been bought at seventeen, and paid her own maiden price before Ben met her, choosing to stay on the ship, using her learned skills to make several hundred credits a night.
"Severyn." He breathed, and she tilted her head to the side, staring at him with eyes the color of a Chandilan sea after a storm.
Kriff, she was beautiful. Her thick, black hair hanging over he shoulders, and the bright red lace of her underthings barely covering her.
"It's been months since you've called on my services." She said. "Supreme Leader."
His title coming from her lips made his skin crawl.
She took a step toward him, and he walked to the decanter set on his desk. He grabbed the bottle by its neck, removing the top, and poured himself a drink. He threw it back, wincing as it burned its way to his stomach.
He heard her walk up behind him, and felt her hands rub his shoulders, reaching around to unclasp his cloak. It fell at their feet in a heap of black fabric.
"There's no one who knows you as I do." She said, stepping in front of him, her hand still on his shoulder.
"No one can please you like I can." She sat on the edge of his desk and wrapped her bare legs around him, pulling him to her.
She was right. He'd lost his virginity to her when he was nothing more than an overgrown boy, and she'd willingly acted out every one of his fantasies since, eagerly teaching him as he'd explored and experimented.
He swallowed, remembering their nights together and put his gloved hands under her knees, unhooking her legs from around him. "Not tonight, Severyn." He walked around his desk and poured himself another drink.
"You've been saying that since..." She trailed off.
Takodana. He remembered. That was when Rey had first poisoned his mind. But, it was after that night the Force connected them on Ahch-Tu, when his fingertips brushed up against hers, that he'd lost all desire to ever touch another woman.
"Have I done something?" Severyn asked, looking over her shoulder at him.
Ben shook his head, and turned his glass up, grimacing as he swallowed.
She reached behind her, and unclasped her bra. She stood up, dropping it to the floor, and walked over to his bed, bending over to remove the lace and strings that made up her panties.
She laid on her back, spreading her legs for him, and brought a hand down to touch herself, her fingers teasing the pink, silken flesh between her thighs.
"Come here." She told him, breathlessly and she moaned.
Ben swallowed another shot and set the glass on his desk with a loud thwak, before he obeyed, walking forward until his shins met the end of his mattress.
She spread her lips open and he saw that she was swollen and ready for him, the smell of her arousal hitting his nose as she brought her hands up to knead her breasts, pinching her nipples to pert little buds.
She sat up, crawling to the end of the bed, and looking up at him as she went for the front of his pants, grabbing at hardness that wasn't there. She undid the buttons, and unzipped him, slipping her hand in and stroking him in earnest.
She leaned forward and kissed him, deep and hungrily, and Ben's eyes instinctively slid closed.
He wanted to lose himself in Severyn's familiar taste and smell, in her skilled hand on his cock, and her glorious mouth on his, but as soon as he closed his eyes, he saw her. He saw her sun-tanned skin, her feckles dotting her cheeks in the most beautiful constellation he ever hoped to see, and he saw her eyes, the color of molten milk chocolate, looking up at him.
He imagined it was Rey in his arms, her lips on his, her delicate hand stroking him, as he felt himself grow hard. He imagined bringing a hand up to touch her face, gently holding it as he traced her lips with his tongue, and she opened her mouth, slightly, granting him access as he deepened the kiss.
He brought his hands up, and put them on Severyn's shoulders, pushing her away. She looked up at him, smiling until he grabbed her hand and pulled it out of his pants.
"Get out." He said, his voice low, and turned slowly, walking back to his desk.
Severyn didn't move, staring at him in offended disbelief. "Excuse me?" She demanded.
"I won't say it again." He threatened, pouring himself a drink.
A moment of silence passed before he heard her angrily snatch up her things. He heard the rustle of garments, and her furious footsteps toward the door. He heard the knob turn, but the door didn't open.
"Why?" She asked, hurt softening her voice.
Ben's chin quivered, as he picked up his glass.
"Because you're not the one I want." And he threw the shot back.