It had been fourteen days since the rejection, and it was dawning on me that things would never be the same. I loved Kevin, I really did...I mean I do. I really do love Kevin, I'm just not in love with him. How could I marry someone I wasn't in love with? How could I be with someone who I didn't see a future with? I mean Kevin and I were never permenant in my mind. He wasn't my soulmate. I didn't feel that 'oomph' that I just needed from a man.

"Garcia...are you even listening to me?" JJ asked from across the table. We were out eating lunch, and I was supposed to be listening to some story she was telling me about Will. I heard it all but I wasn't really there.

"You and Will were having a simple conversation about what day the garbage was collected. It turned into a petty arguement by Will that he continued even when you tried to end it. And this isn't the first time this has happened so you think that there-"

"Yeah, alright you were listneing but you aren't exactly here." JJ said, taking a drink of her coffee. "What's on your mind?"

I groaned, "Everything."

"Can you be more vague, P?" JJ asked sarcastically furrowing a brow.

"Kevin and I haven't talked in two weeks, he says he needs space. It's driving me nuts because I don't know where we stand. And the more time I spend away from him the more I begin to move on. My rent has been raised, there's a leak in my bathroom so my water bill has spiked, and I haven't slept in like three frickin' days."

"Garcia." JJ sighed empathically. "You can't do this to yourself, you haven't done anything wrong."

"I broke Kevin's heart." I pointed out.

"That was unavoidable, you don't love him the way he loves you. And there isn't much either one of you can do about that. It is what it is." She said matter-a-factly. I think the job made her a bit callous when it came to things like this. She wasn't a Gideon, but she wasn't really grasping my feelings on this. And the one person I knew who could, I really didn't want to involve. Since he was the main reason I couldn't love Kevin the way he wanted me to. My heart belonged to someone else.

JJ's phone alerted her with a text and she groaned when she read it. A moment later my own phone sang a tune, telling me that I had work to do.

"Guess lunch is over." JJ said.

JJ and I were the lasts to enter the briefing room. Only two chairs were left; one beside Derek and the other beside Rossi. Before I could even snag the one beside Rossi, JJ got there first. I mentally cursed her skinny ass before sitting beside Derek. He watched me sit, and smiled up at me. I gave him a small smile and turned towards Aaron, who was standing in front of the display screen.

He began describing the case, and I could barely pay attention to any of it. All I could think of was Derek sitting next to me, his long muscular arm brushing slightly against my own. I wanted to pull away from the physical electric charge, because if I didn't I wholeheartedly believed my arm would burn from the heat.

Derek nudged me, and I blinked clearing away the not so clean thoughts I was having. Everyone was staring at me, "What?"

Hotchner gave me disapproving stare, "I was telling you that you were coming with us to Kansas, but you weren't listening."

I scooted closer to the table. Oh, sorry. I'm listening, really, I was just thinking about something."

Ried piped up right when I didn't need him to, "About the case?" He thought he was helping, he wasn't. JJ who was sitting between him and Rossi stuck her elbow into his side. He yelped and gave a 'what-did-I-do' look.

Hotchner gave me another discontented look and continued on with the briefing. And I tried my very best to pay attention, although sitting next to Morgan wasn't really doing me any favors. Why did he have to smell so damn good?

I ended up spacing out during the briefing anyway towards the end, and found the meeting was over when everyone raised from their seats. Not wanting any excuses for conversation I waited everyone out, letting them leave the room ahead of me. I thought I was in the clear, but once I left I saw Morgan had waited for me.

"Hey, babygirl." He greeted me, keeping pace with me as I walked back to my office. I had to gather a few things before the ride to Kansas.

"Hey." I replied. As we passed the main room, full of other agents and their cubicles I had to mentally smile at the female recognition that Morgan got. Women of all kinds fawned after the man, using any little excuse to talk to him or get his attention. And he usually let them, enjoying the attention. But not today, it was like the women weren't even there.

His attention was on me, clearly concerned. Derek waited for me to speak up, but when I didn't he sighed and gave up. "I noticed you were a bit...distracted during the briefing today."

I stopped at the door to my office, and busied myself with unlocking the door. "Uh, yeah, didn't meant for that to happen. I just had a few things on my mind." Derek followed me into the room, and closed the door behind us. I went to my desk, figuring out what I should take with me to Kansas. I looked back at Derek as I heard the soft click of him locking the door.

This was slightly a little too intimate. Since this was my first time in my office today, there weren't any lights on. Only the dim light from my table lamp was on. Not even my computers were booted up yet. And here I was alone in my locked office with Derek. With the blinds closed, and minimal light. Oh, boy.

"Is there something you want to talk about Penelope?" Derek asked me.

I shook my head, leaning against my desk. Derek wouldn't believe me if I said no, and there were things bothering me. Hopefully I could name a few and he'll unlock that door and walk out. My heart was racing against my chest, and my palm was gripping the strap of my bag so hard I thought my knuckles would burst against strained skin. "Just a few personal things, nothing too serious." Ya know like breaking Kevin's heart and being in love with you. Nope, nothing too serious. Even I wanted to roll my eyes at that.

He crossed his arms over his chest, raising a sculpted eyebrow. "Tell me."

And I wanted to, he was one of my bestest friends. I usually told him everything, so of course he would be suspicious when I suddenly wasn't telling him anything. I told him about my raised rent, the leaky pipe, overbearing paperwork, and a few details about me and Kevin. He listened without interruption and when I was finished he just looked at me.

"Why did you say no?" Derek asked me.

I shook my head, "I don't know."

"Yes, you do." Derek told me softly, he took a step towards me and then looked back at the locked door. And at this moment I desperately wanted to be psychic, what was going through his mind?

I didn't know what to say, but I knew I had to say something to fill in the silence. The air was suddenly filled with too much energy, static, emotion, and unsaid words that I couldn't take it. "I love Kevin." I muttered.

Wow, Garcia, say it like you mean it.

"Then tell me why you said no, babygirl." Derek demanded. His voice came out rough, like he was holding back what he really wanted to say, what he really wanted to do. I heard the jingle of the knob being turned and the door refusing to budge against the lock.

"I don't know." I said adamantly. My office phone rang and I turned away from Derek to answer it. "Penelope Garcia here."

It was JJ. "I don't know what you and Morgan are doing in there but the jet is ready."

I almost sighed in relief, but remembered that Derek was only a few feet away. If it were possible to hug through the phone, I would squeezed JJ. "We're coming."