the followin is a work of satire and if you get spicy then youre just a negative nancy

Adolf hitler, mastermind of amazing fun times such as the takeover of France and the deportation of millions of poles from Poland during the MAGA (Move All Gnarlies Away) Campaign, has finally come to terms that he was, in fact a raging homosexual.

Hitler decided it would be best for him to start a new life, away from national socialism. Instead of grabbing his pals in the SS and hopping on a train to his vacation home in Austria, he decided he would travel to a different dimension and make some friends. After all, he didn't have any friends in germany. People were too shy to talk to the leader of such a powerful country, what a shame.

Hitler walked over to his personal time machine and tried to cross dimensions but couldn't because it was a time machine. Next he tried using his submarine, but he couldn't get anywhere because the submarine was on land.

Depressed that he had no friends and the neighborhood bully, Stalin, was coming over to make fun of his moustache sometime within the year, hitler pulled out his luger and was about to shoot himself when, all of a sudden, he heard a voice.

"Hey you!"

"Vas ist?" hitler exclaimed.

"Yeah you!" the voice continued. "I'm looking for a brave hero with a pure heart. Your calling has come, mister…" the voice waiting, expecting a reaction.

"Gee," hitler sighed. "Ich bin wahnsinnig geworden!"

"With such a kind heart such as yours, I think you, just you out of all the people in the world, are the best choice across all dimensions and timelines of all dimensions to save all Gamindust-"

Hitler shot himself and his brains splattered everywhere.

"Oh- OH." the voice, which was from Histoire, gasped. "Well that was easy. No need to convince him or anything, huh. Now I just need to take his soul and sell it to Neptune…"

The next day…

"Gott im Himmel!" Hitler cried out in a bed. "Ich muss Scheiße essen." Adolf rubbed his head, thinking deeply about genocide and how it was not funny but needed to find a way to make it funny so he could destroy the earth in the year 2017 when people got offended by the use of him in a satirical manner without getting banned on any sort of literature medium such as .

"Wow, he's awake!" Neptune exclaimed happily. "Now we can save Gamindustri!"

"Hooray!" Every single CPU said simultaneously.

"Was zum Teufel?" Hitler muttered. "Ich muss Fußfetischisten massakrieren."

"That's right!" Neptune exclaimed a second time with the exact same demeanor. "You've been chosen to help us defeat the one true threat to society and Gamindustri!"

"Nein nein, was zum Teufel!?" Hitler screamed, killing several babies nearby. "Ich spreche kein Judengespräch."

"Right again, Mr. Hitler! We're off to kill fanfiction writers and install Nazbolian socratic dictators like Jeb Bush!"

"JEB BUSH IS NAZBOL" Blanc screamed mercilessly as she killed a person with her hammer.

"Schwarze Menschen sind nicht menschlich…" Adolf said, shaking his head.

"Let's go!" Everyone on the face of the earth and in north korea shouted menacingly.

"Rats!" Arfoire shouted. "You discovered my plot to use this here watering can to destroy humanity! Whatever shall I-"

Arfoire was shot and killed by Hitler, who smiled and said something about how modern economic models cannot be matched by Martin Lutheran standards.

After claiming all of the South China Sea, Neptune stood up and stared at a bunch of huddled Fanfiction writers who were not happy to be naked and surrounded by sweaty, hairy men.

"With the power of Lenin-flavored pudding, I condemn thee to the shadow realm!"

Everyone died

Then there was a big sex party in some taliban man's hut but Adolf, being the man of high morals that he was, sat out and only drank carbonated water for the duration of the night. Not only was he against smoking, but he was also against drug use and weird fetishes like jetski oil fracking.

But it didn't matter in the end, as he impregnated each and every woman in the world and later used his child slave army to take the fight to the FBI with Neptune at his side. The end.

But it wasn't the end as Hitler escaped to Argentina with a flying whale, living a peaceful life with eight wives who were coincidentally the CPUs of Gamindustri.

Until the fire nation attacked.

The nazbol gods smiled that day

part two will come if this gets one view