Dean thinks back to the day he met Samandriel. A cherub's face, heaven's most adorable angel, dressed in a red and white striped uniform. He spoke of Castiel in the same glowing terms Dean held deep inside.

They were at the auction to retrieve the demon tablet. Alfie, Dean had chosen to call him by the name on his id badge, bid The Vatican City but, he wouldn't trade souls. "We guard the souls in heaven', he said.

In that short time, Dean developed a tenderness for Alfie. The cute name fit him. He believed in heaven and Cas and the Winchesters.

Now, he was dead at the hands of Castiel. Compromised, self defense, Dean could make no sense of it. Alfie had been tortured and damaged. Maybe, he gave up information but, where was the angels' mercy? Was Alfie not entitled to forgiveness? He was good and he still believed so, where was the heart that Cas had too much of?

Sam was afraid that maybe someone was 'messing' with Cas, may be manipulating him. The brothers had to angel proof the cabin to speak of this. Dean was suspicious of Cas since the day he returned from Purgatory. He didn't remember how he got out; Dean remembered every second.

Cas was cautious and guarded. He claimed he heard Alfie on angel radio. At the same time, he claimed to not be listening any more. Dean knew how to be secretive and he knew how to recognize it.

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The rescue was messy and Alfie's condition at the hands of Crowley and his minions was horrifying. A steel halo, metal spikes protruding from his skull. Dean remembers the sight and the vicious, relentless beating he inflicted on that butcher.

Castiel zapped Alfie to safety. And within the few minutes it took for the brothers to follow, Alfie was dead. Self defense, in his condition, where would he get the power to threaten anyone?

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Now, after witnessing his deceit and being subjected to his neglect and rejection, he asks for their help. He ignored their prayers; he kept secrets and lied but, he can't retrieve the angel tablet without them. It is warded against him and his kind.

This only convinced Dean more that the tablet belonged with them. What secrets did it hold to create this mistrust? Would Cas kill for this? Would it be enough for him to kill Dean?

Dean could take a beating.

The last one like this had him looking into Sam's eyes. Now, he tries to connect with anything in Castiel's. But, his are cold, hard .steel blue.

Blue steel, Dean thought, that should be funny.

The precious secret that cost Alfie his life was at risk. It must not fall into the wrong hands, Cas said. Dean was convinced that Kevin's were the right hands. Like driving a nail with a sledgehammer, the pounding continued. Dean's brain was getting bounced around to the point where he couldn't distinguish speech from thought. And he had to make it stop.

"Cas, this isn't you" (what's wrong? you heard my prayers and you didn't come)

"Cas, I know you're in there." (You lied to us and killed Alfie for no reason)

"Cas, I know you can hear me." (you used me, I just want the truth. don't you trust me?)

Feeling his awareness slipping away, Dean would try one more time to reach him.

"I need you...we're family."

It stopped. However, Castiel would still take the tablet.

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How is it that getting your brains bashed in brought such clarity? He had told Cas he would have to kill him to get the tablet and it had almost come to pass.

Why couldn't he just put it back in the box?