Mostly Harmless
Tsukune never really liked sun. He did love tomato juice tough. And one day he gets a surprising visit from a Chairman of Youkai Academy who, for some reason, thinks Dracula is his grandpa... Yeah, as if that could ever happen. Right?
CHAPTER I
It was sunny outside, which was normal.
The sky was clear and as per his usual routine Tsukune decided to spend the day inside. His parents were working which was particularly normal. The TV was turned on which was also normal.
The hooded figure sitting on his couch was not.
Wearing a bizarre robe made of white silk, the man – for no woman would disgrace herself with such a monstrous attire – radiated the kind of weirdness that only regular heroin addicts could envision. From within the shadows of the face two glowing eyes were visible, each as terrifying as the other.
"So let me get this straight..." started Tsukune, "What you're basically saying is that Dracula – Dracula? – is my great grandfather? Is that what you're saying?"
"Yes, that's precisely what I'm saying."
"Not to be rude or anything but..."
"Yes?"
"You're full of shit."
"Ah."
Tsukune frowned and stared at the nutcase sitting on his couch. Finally, he shook his head.
"Look. I don't know who you are, and frankly, I don't really give a shit if you're seeing things or whatever, as long as you leave me alone, that's fine. If you get lost now, I won't call the hospital and we'll all be happy. What do you say? Huh?"
The hooded figure gave Tsukune an evil grin
"Tell me, did you ever get the feeling that you don't really fit in? That you don't belong with these people?"
"I'm a teenager – what do you think?"
"Hm." The man's grin widened and Tsukune realized that he sounded suspiciously defensive.
"I mean, millions of people around the world feel like they don't fit in, you can't honestly expect all of them to drink blood and fly about, can you?"
"No, of course not."
"Ha! See?"
"Hmm... You look very pale. Does your skin get red when you're outside for too long?"
Reluctantly, Tsukune nodded.
"...Yeah."
"And I suppose you like tomato juice as well, hm?"
"It's my favorite."
The evil grin widened even more and, for some unexplainable reason, Tsukune knew that his immediate future was about to turn upside down.
"Tell me, young man, did you ever hear about the Youkai Academy?"
A Oneshot. Or a prologue. Or something.