Title: More Moments
Rated: PG
Author: Megan Faye
Disclaimer: I don't own Rent.
A/N: These are moments in my life. They are short, sweet, happy, sad, just life.
There is no future. There is no past. Thank God this moment is not the last.
- RENT 'No Day but Today'
It wasn't our last moment. We visited, we laughed, we reconnected when possible.
I visited them.
They visited me.
We were still friends after they moved.
And then I got the phone call.
The phone call that made me cry, for three days straight.
This phone call gave me hope that I though I'd lost 10 months ago.
"How would you like some good news?" she asked me. I could practically hear her smiling. Good news was in the eye of the beholder, but since I trust her, I'll bite.
"I would love some good news." How good? I wanted to ask, but listened to her instead.
"We're moving back."
"YYYYESSS!!!!!!!!!" I screamed. I jumped in the air, fist above my head, tears pooling in my eyes.
Most of our conversation after that was lost as I, literally, tap-danced around my house while she talked. I have the vague feeling she repeated things several times. Something along the lines of; "Get your driver's license, and you can have your old job back."
Will I lose my dignity, Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
- RENT 'No Day but Today'
My dignity remains intact, and I found how much people care. And yes, I woke from the nightmare.t was a difficult journey to find myself without the four people who had worked their way into my heart. They read the first bit I wrote, which couldn't have been easy for them to read, or know. But they read it, and they know how much they mean to me.
"I don't cry. I write." I thought that crying would make me weak, and lose my dignity.
Knowing you are loved by your friends; there is dignity in that.
Loving the people in your life; I know no greater dignity than to be loved.
There's only now. There's only here. Give in to love, or live in fear
- RENT 'No Day but Today'
I saw them. They were here, in my house, laughing, smiling, and happy.
"You're home."
"You're my family, and I love all of you with all my heart."
"Thank you for coming back."
"I can't tell you how much I missed you guys."
"Squeeee!!!!!"
"Don't ever do that again! Please."
"I love all of you, and don't know how to say it openly because I'm afraid of sounding psychotic."
All of that remains unsaid, like a lot of things. But they were here, and I had them back. For a few short days, I had them back. And in a few weeks, they'll be back for good. No more trips to visit, they will live within a half hour driving.They are back.
And then I hugged the boys.
"You got so big."
"Do you really remember me?"
"Did I really miss a whole year of your lives?"
"Wow, you got heavy. Ow!"
"I want to hear all about you two!"
Again, things unsaid. I can't string two words together at this point and I lead them inside my house. As a writer, knowing I can't say what's on my mind can be unsettling, but this time, it was a quiet comfort. I just sighed happily, and chatted aimlessly about things not so important.
The boys play with the toys I have out, He plays with the toys and things I have out, and She tells me about the boys nap schedule. They are all smiling at me, and I feel welcomed into their lives again.
They are really back.
No other Life. No Other Way. No day but TODAY!
- RENT 'No Day but Today'
Today is My day.
Today, I have my friends back.
Today, I took the boys to the Space Needle. One slept the whole time on my shoulder. My hip will hurt the rest of the day, but its worth it. It is worth it to me to see the 4-year-old so happy to be at the top of Seattle. Its worth it to me that the baby isn't crying, and is getting the rest he needs. Last summer, the older boy slept on my lap on the back porch when I pulled my back before. The younger one deserves the same kind of attention. And knowing he is comfortable enough with me to sleep on my shoulder...it makes me feel like the months have melted away and he does remember me as his friend. He knows he is safe.
We had food, and saw the best view in Seattle.
They boys were happy, therefore, I was happy.
There's only us. There's only This. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
- RENT 'No Day but Today'
I don't regret getting so close to them. I am actually a better person because of them. I've learned so much from this family; they're fair, kind, incredibly intelligent,and still relaxed and know how to have fun. They kids are awesome, and the parents are two of the smartest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
I'm going to repeat myself when I say I don't regret becoming so close to this family. They are my family.
We can never take it back, all that was said, all that was done; the good or the bad.
After that first week back, I know where I belong. Right here in Washington. I know now who my friends are, and I know who my Family is.
And they are leaving California.