Disclaimer: I don't own VA!

"Do you miss him? I mean, who he used to be?"

I shrugged. I didn't want to talk about Dimitri with Adrian. It was too confusing. After I've poured my heart to Lissa I felt such a relief. But telling Adrian? It seemed... Insensitive, maybe? Because of how much he liked me and how gone I was - still am- for Dimitri.

But lately the topping has been coming up a lot. He seemed interested to now what he was in for. He knew the basics. That I went to Russia to kill Dimitri, that I didn't succeed. He doesn't know the rest, the nightmares that haunt me every night. The feeling of stabbing someone you are been in love you. Off going off to kill them. Of him coming back to kill you and sending you letters about it. Adrian would never understand what it was like. What I went through when I was with Dimitri in Russia. It made the pain in my chest harden as I thought about it. Adrian also didn't know about the little "trip" me and Lissa were planning to take once we were out of here and at court. I felt guilty of course, but what could I do? Take my boyfriend who was clearly really liked me on some crazy mission to break into jail in attempt to get information to bring back my ex-boyfriend from his undead state?

"Of course I do." I whispered harshly at him and sighed. Adrian ran a hand through his thick brown locks that were styled messily as usual. His eyes gleamed.

"Look I-" He started to say, but I cut him short.

"Can we not talk about it right now, please?" I begged. I could feel tears squeeze their way out of my eyes and took a deep breath in attempt to clam myself down. I promised myself I would stop crying. I would never get over Dimitri, but I still had hope. There might still be a way to get my happily ever after, after all. I felt bad and guilty for staying with Adrian, even though all I thought about was Dimitri. Every waking moment I'd think about him, every sleeping moment I would dream about him. Looking as beautiful as ever.

But I hated when Adrian pressed on it, because of the remarks he'd make and the looks he gave me. He didn't understand like Lissa did. He tries to though, he really does. But he can't help it. It was why I steered off the topic. Better safe then sorry. It's also why I couldn't tell him. "You can't help that you loved him." he told me once. Maybe he did understand after all?

We continued our walk through the academy doors. He was walking me to class and stopped by my door for guardian training theory class. "Play nice with the other kids." He mocked.

"Always do."

He kissed me softly, then when he pulled away he gave me a strong look. His eyes focused on me. I groaned. "What?" I demanded. I've noticed he was looking at me weirdly a lot lately and it was getting on my nerves. "Is there something on my face? Or are you just admiring how beautiful I am?"

He laughed and straightened up, but then his face got hard again. Seriousness taking over. "It's just..." he sighs and looks at me again, squinting his eyes as if he is trying to work something out.

Several of students passed us, trying to get quickly to class. I knew I was already late, everyone was already inside my class. But it wasn't an unusual thing for me to be late. I wait for Adrian to gather his words.

"Ever since your trip to Russia I've noticed a big change in your aura." he says.

" Oh yeah?" I challenge. He shakes his head, to indicate he's not joking.

"No, really. It's like... Still lots of shadows don't get me wrong. But there's a light in the middle of it. It's like the one Lissa has in her and she says I have in mine. Kindda like... A golden color emerging from the darkness. It's pretty cool actually." He commented.

"Didn't you say being away from her would be good for my aura?" I ask, growing a little confused. Like he tried to understand the Dimitri thing, I tried to understand the spirit thing. Because I was shadow-kissed I take the shadows away from Lissa. He had always tell me how dark my aura was. For some reason a bright color in it made me frown. It was not something I was used to hear.

I opened my mouth to speak again, when Stan's blooming voice screamed at me as the door opened.

"Hathaway!" he barked. "Get in here."

"Gotta go." I say, giving Adrian a quick peck on the cheek. I turn away to walk into the classroom, when I look back I could still see Adrian watching me carefully.

XXX

When I slumped into my normal table, I was surprised to find Adrian sitting there with Lissa. They were talking in hushed voices before I arrived. Which was what made me want to interrupt even more. I knew I could get dip into Lissa's thoughts and find out. But I decided not to. I know that they'd tell me. And plus, I enjoyed hearing things rather then sensing them in Lissa. It was more reassuring for me.

"What we talking about?" I talked cheerfully, then jerked my thumb towards Adrian. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out getting drunk somewhere or something?" I mocked. It was what he did everyday while we had class to pass the time. Without having us to harass, he'd be lifeless.

Lissa was watching me so carefully now too. I rested my cheek in my palm.

"Analysing my aura again?"

"I'm get trying to get a fix on it." says Lissa, moving her head around to get herself in a correct position and squinting her eyes. She wasn't too great with auras yet. I close my eyes, letting myself 'slip' into her. I could see flecks on my aura, but not the full thing Adrian described in details for her during their practices. The golden light was there though. It was an unmistakable small line in the middle of me. But it was blinking, flickering off and on. Along with the dark, shadow-y flecks of gray around it, they were slowly covering the golden bits, piece by piece.

I bought myself back to my own mind. Lissa shakes her head sadly. "I can see the change. But it keeps disappearing. It's like a light switch." she says to Adrian. Then she turns to me.

She looks up, worriedly. "Rose." she says gently. "There is something wrong with your aura."

"So I've heard." I mutter under my breath. "Why is it gold, then?" I ask.

Adrian and Lissa are silent for a moment. "Have you been feeling really happy lately?" he asks. I open my mouth to answer, only to shut it again. I realize then that this question is not directed at me, but at Lissa. She shakes her head. "I've been okay. Not entirely happy." she says quietly, gazing longingly in the direction of her ex-boyfriend Christian Ozera from across the room.

Sympathy pours into me, along with sadness from the bond. Adrian, not having the connection I have with her, is still puzzling over my aura and doesn't notice how depressed Lissa is feeling.

"There's no other explanation, Rose. I reckon it's because you've been away from Lissa. I've noticed it for awhile now. But the shadows are starting to cover it up. Maybe it's because of your closeness again."

Lissa suddenly feel guilty. "No, it must be something else." I say, for her benefit.

I pull my arms around myself, kind of curious myself all of the sudden on why my aura was different.. Changing.

But it wasn't only that my aura was changing... It felt like I was changing too along with it.

A/N I don't really have much plot to think out for this story. Just little things in my mind. Many things will be fillers at times I need to get out of writer's block. I find if I just keep writing it helps me a little. So this story kind of helps me for more important stories. Also, it's going to help us get through our last couple of month left of waiting until last sacrifice :) . Keeps us a little sane.

Also I didn't plan on posting this or any story until I finish my current one. But I thought it'll be kind of fun too. Lol, sorry for the rant!

Review if you think I should continue!