Okay, here's how it works. You read this. You pretend to not realize that it's NOWHERE near V-day, okay?? I know its random, but this idea had been rotting in the back of my head for so long, I needed to get it out. And I did!! It feels rushed, but whatever. I can fix it up later. Okay, so anywhozz, I own nothing. And my (inspiring) song I listened to as I wrote this was Heaven(Candlelight Mix) by DJ Sammy. Pretty song. I suggest you listen to it. :)
Oh yeah --- that luverly dear means a perspective change. Enjoi!!!!
He had seemed distant lately. Like there was something he was trying to do, but couldn't. I tried to get him to tell me, or just stand by him through it, but I didn't think I would ever end. I felt like our relationship had been suffering. Like it just wasn't happening anymore. I thought... I hate to admit it, and I knew I'd regret it, but I thought it would be better if I gave him some space. Just for a little while, but... space, nonetheless.
And aside from hating everything about this, there was one thing about today that made what I was about to do unforgivable. This was...
The Day Before Valentines Day. (A/N: the story started up there, even though this is the title. Just so you know!!)
"Sora," I said, approaching him. I had practiced all morning. I knew exactly what to say, exactly how to say it so that he wouldn't be hurt. I sat down next to him on the bench. He turned to me, puzzled and dropped a few candy hearts into my hand.
"Pink is your favorite color." He noted, and looked down at the little candies he had dropped. They were all pink. All the pink ones in the box, probably.
I nodded, "Mmhmm. But the whites are my favorite." I sat there, popping each one into my mouth after taking the time to read it. "Sora," I began again, and he looked over at me.
"Yeah? What is it, Kai?"
"I... want to tell you something." There would be no time to dawdle.
"Anything," He mumbled. It seemed like he was hardly paying attention anymore. I snapped in front of his face and his eyes shot up to meet mine.
"Sora, I need your focus on me for this, okay?" He nodded slightly, sensing that something was wrong. "I think..." I took a deep breath. So much for practicing, I couldn't recall anything I had done all morning to prepare for this moment. "It's better if we break off for a bit, you know?"
His eyes widened a little. "What? Why?"
Screw you hours of training! A load of help you did me in the end! I could tell already that he was hurt. If it was going to affect him in this way, why was our relationship feeling so suffocated? "I don't want to do this, Sora," I said truthfully, placing my hand on his.
"Then, don't." He pulled his hand away from mine.
"It's not that easy," I cast my eyes downward. I wished there was a way for him to see it the way I did. I wished that there was something else I felt I could do. In following my heart, I was breaking it. Piece by freaking piece. "I'm so sorry," I said, tears brimming in my eyes. I wiped at them hastily and kissed his cheek, getting up at walking away from him as fast as I could.
---
I sat there for a long time after Kairi left. It was all so hard to believe. I had asked her again as she walked away from me.
"Why?"
"You don't want me anymore."
And then she ran. And I didn't follow her. Because I could hardly move.
For weeks now, I had been planning to tell Kairi I loved her, but I never found the way. How could she say I didn't want her? I wanted her more than anybody or anything in the entire world! She had no idea what she was even talking about!
Angry, I crushed the box of candy hearts in my now fisted hand. Most of the hearts fell to the ground and, surprised, I looked down. I shifted my foot and picked up the heart that had slid under my shoe. It was white with pink lettering that said 'Be Mine'. And just like that, I knew what I had to do.
I ran through the streets, the crushed candy box still in my hand, and dug through my pocket for cash.
I burst through the doors of the near empty shop I had bought the candy from on my way to the park. The girl at the register jumped a little when I slammed the box down onto the counter, and a few more people looked my way.
"C-can I help you, sir?"
I pointed to the box. "I need as many of these as I can get."
---
Maybe I should have slept on it, I thought as I laid on the couch just waiting for the morning to come. Sora had been with me so many times on this couch. It just felt more like home right now than a bed where I had only ever lain alone. I groaned and shifted, sitting upright. Being there alone made me want to remember all the things I would start to miss.
I tried to remember the feel of Sora's hand as it brushed over my hair. I tried to remember the way his chest rumbled when he laughed at the tv every time I laid on his stomach. I wanted most of all to remember the way he kissed me, for the first time ever when we were sitting here and he brushed his fingers gently across my face. All these things I could feel again in my mind. Reminding me of all the things I would never feel again.
I thought I heard something outside the door, but I ignored it. Hugging my knees, I watched the clock. The little numbers flashing every minute reminded me of how long I was going to be alone. Every time that clocked changed... I would be lonesome. Beep. There it went, once again. And I was right. Still lonely. Still missing him, though he wasn't really gone. He never really would be.
We had been with each other for as long as I could remember, always playing together when we were children, always laughing together. Just always... together. With each other. As one. I was always with him on Valentines Day, on every day. I tried to look back and remember a time when I had no valentine, and couldn't recall one. That was the one thing I didn't want to remember. I rested my head on my knees just as the clock flashed again.
"It's horrible." I sighed. "It's here. It's..."
---
"Valentines Day." I groaned as my clock changed to twelve. Twelve o'clock midnight. The start of our first day apart. I only hoped that kairi would come out soon. I was going to wait in the park until she did. Absently, I dropped a little candy heart every time I stepped. Orange, purple, blue, orange, orange, blue, yellow, green, purple. It was random, and I didn't care. The message would be gotten. I looked down at my hands covered in a fine layer of pinkish, chalk-like candy dust. My back ached from when I had fallen to her door.
How much of an idiot? THAT much.
When I got to the bench at the park that we were sitting on earlier, I stopped dropping candies. I still had some left, so I ate them just to pass the time, mostly. I didn't really like the orange ones... lucky me there were a ton. After about an hour, I picked a flower from the bush beside me.
And began pulling petals.
I felt girlish, but I didn't care. It was midnight, on Valentines day, I was alone in a park. Anybody who would have cared about me doing this was at home or with the ones they loved. That was where I should be. Not home, but with Kairi. Because I loved her. And soon she would know. And hopefully she would care.
"She..." I pulled the first petal off the flower. It floated down to the ground and landed beside the end of my candy heart trail. "Loves me." I didn't care what the rest said, I dropped the flower beside it's one fallen petal and stood, looking off at the moon. I sighed to myself. I wanted her. And I wanted her to be my valentine.
---
A few minutes after midnight, I got sick of waiting on the couch for misery to come. Maybe, if I went back to the bench where I had broken up with him, and I waited for a shooting star, if one came I could wish to undo all of yesterday. Yeah, that would be nice.
I stood up and walked to the front door. But when I opened it, I saw something that to say at the very very least, I would have never expected to see.
Tears came to my eyes. "Oh... my God." I covered my mouth and sucked in a deep breath, crying. It was Sora, it had to be. Those stupid little candy hearts... I bent down to examine it closer. A large outline of a heart, made using only pink candy hearts, and only ones that read 'I Want You'. In the center of the heart, white hearts, each reading 'I Love You' spelled out 'Be My Valentine?'
I raised my head to find that there were many more candy hearts, moving almost in a line, toward the park. Without hesitating I began to walk alongside the fallen candies, wiping my tears away and picking up speed when I saw a familiar silhouette in the park. When I reached that spot, the bench where we sat together just hours ago, I slowed down. He wasn't facing me, but seemed to be looking up and staring at the moon. It was a full moon tonight, beautiful and round. I bent down to pick up a flower, missing one petal. I already knew what had happened. What he had started.
I picked one petal off and dropped it to the ground. "He loves me not," Startled, Sora turned around. I smiled at him, and he waited. Another petal. "He loves me." I was about to pick another when Sora put his hand on mine.
"He does."
Stepping back once, my hand came out from under his. He held it there, as if waiting for me to do something about that. To react in some way. Another petal floated to the ground. "She loves him, too." And then it fell.
--
WOO! Aint vday just the best??
No. It isn't.
I love it.
I hate it.
I can't pick. I mean, I love it, but it gets old, you know?
Whatever.
Hope you enjoyed!
