One Last Night, a law and order: svu fanfic

Okay guys, this is my first fanfic so go easyish on me ;) I don't usually like songfics but I was listening to Adele, as one does, and All I Ask came on and I just couldn't get the idea of it describing EO's last night together out of my head. This is if things happened differently. So it's AU and maybe OOC? I took a part from a deleted scene where Liv gets an envelope from El with a note and a tiny shield in it, I can't find it on youtube anymore but I know it existed at one time. This didn't turn out as great as I wanted it to, but I think it's okay enough to let other people read it. Let me know if you liked it or if you think it sucks.

Light M rating just to be safe.

Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the characters, sadly. Adele owns the song (All I Ask), which is one of my favorite songs to belt out while driving; and Dick Wolf owns the characters. Unfortunately, I don't gain anything from this piece of literature (if you can call it that) except my own satisfaction of actually putting something I wrote out to the world for judgment. Alright, enough of this, enjoy!

She sat, staring at the wall. Her room was dark, the only light coming from the alarm clock on the night stand next to the bed. Her chin resting on her knees that were pulled up to her chest. The tears have long since dried and her face was void of emotion. She can't feel anymore, not when the last few hours of her day were spent feeling; the shock, the hurt, the extreme loss that usually comes with a close family member dying. But it wasn't her family she had lost, it was her best friend, her best kept secret, her now ex-partner.

When Cragen told her Elliot wasn't coming back, she felt her world stop. She lost her breath and couldn't stop the tears from gathering in her eyes. After taking a moment in the interrogation room, she collected herself, walked out of the precinct and went back to work on autopilot, promising herself she was going to wait until after work to start feeling again. And that's what she did.

She went through the motions until she got home. Stepping inside her door she looked down to find an envelope with her name on it in the handwriting she knew so well. Walking to her kitchen counter she opened the envelope and dumped the contents. There was a medallion, a little badge, and a note. It simply read:

Simper fi,

She was shocked. How could this be the last contact that she had with him? How did he think this was okay? She went to her room and took off her work clothes, put on the t-shirt that use to belong to him, and got into bed. Tears slid down her cheeks and she finally let go. She cried out all her anger, her hurt, and grief.

Now, hours later a knock on her door snaps her out of her daze. Right away she knows who it is. Her heart rate increases as she inhales, trying to catch her breath. Getting up from her bed, her legs shaking, she pulls on her robe and slowly walks to the door. Looking through the peep hole, her fears are confirmed. Slowly she unlocks the door and pulls it open.

He's standing there arms on the door frame, blue tired eyes connecting with hers. "El." She whispers and it's only a beat before his lips are on hers.

I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before you know

There's nothing either of them can say that would make the situation better. She knows this is the end of them. She knew that the minute she heard his knock that this was goodbye.

So why don't we just play pretend
Like we're not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left

She knows without him, her job will be harder, for a while, nearly impossible. But right now, she can't think of that. Right now, all she wants to do is forget. Forget he's leaving, forget he has a family, and forget about the way it's going to hurt like hell when he has to leave her bed.

He pushes her up against the wall, parting her lips with his tongue while she willingly allows him access. She pulls him closer, hands running through his hair. Wishing this could last forever.

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use

She needed this. If she was going to have to go the rest of her career without him by her side, they might as well finish it the way it started.

Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?

For over 12 years, he has been the only consistency in her life. Without a father and after each failed relationship she grew more certain. The only man she needed in her life was her partner, even if he didn't fully belong to her. She has never expressed her feelings for him, nor him to her, but they both knew. They both knew if they stripped everything away, their jobs, his marriage and family, there would have been nothing keeping them from each other. Even at the beginning of their relationship there was that one moment of weakness when they crossed that line. When they promised each other it would never happen again, until it did.

I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me

They pull apart breathless. Looking each other in the eyes. She could see how tired he was, like he hasn't been able to sleep in a long while. She could see how sorry he was. For exactly what she wasn't quite sure, maybe all of it, but she could feel how the whole situation was just as hard for him as it was for her. Then his eyes asked the silent question, earning a small nod from her.

No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?

He knew her better than anyone ever had. He was the only person she allowed herself to be open with. Even her most serious relationships didn't even touch the closeness she had with him. Who was that going to be for her now?

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?

He takes her hand and leads her to the bedroom. Once there he removes her robe. He smirks when he sees she's wearing his old NYPD t-shirt, she rolls her eyes at him and starts to tug at his shirt. Her lips attach to his as she runs her hands down his chest, making her way to the belt of his jeans. His hands are at her waist searching for the hem of her shirt. He pulls the shirt up over her head and she moves to rid him of his pants and boxers, sliding her panties down as well while she's at it. She walks him back till he falls on her bed and she straddles him. She intertwines their hands as she slides slowly down, allowing him to fill her.

Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us

This is what she wants to think about when she looks back on their relationship. All the times they felt this close, even when it wasn't physical. This is what she wants to feel when she remembers the moments they had together. The electricity between them, the tension, the unspoken love.

I don't wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness

She knows he's not sorry for not answering her calls, texts, or emails the past few days. If he had, she would have tried to convince him to stay. They both know that if she were to say one word he would have been back to work, shorter tempered and less capable of effectively doing his job because this time he knew there was no way he could bounce back from shooting a teenager. She was just a kid. He took a life of a child and the mental toll that took on him was more than he was ready to face.

All I ask is

Their hands intertwine and squeeze together when they reach their zenith. Coming down from their high they finally pull apart only to reconnect in a different way. Elliot holds her against his chest kissing the top of her head while she wraps around him savor this moment.