A day without rain
To breathe to live,
But to hope is to forgive,
The dreams are reality,
He honestly said those words to me.
I don't know what to think anymore. I've cried. I've been broken. I've seemed to reach a point in my life where I can no longer remain in a stable thought.
Music pumping in my ear - I reach for the volume control and increase it. The bass is making my ears and head pulse to the words and cries.
"Hello Fascination" I mumble whilst listening to those words pound. The intro is enough to start the realisation, reader, of my dear misfortune. You see, I have become a victim of my own love; my own hopes; my own dreams. This is what it felt like. I seemed to fall onto my bed, and smothered my tears into the pillow.
Here's to you, glorify my darling
Are you satisfied?
Here's to you, criticize my darling
Are you satisfied?
"Are you satisfied?" I think "I really hope you are. You're the only thing, the only person, who is in my mind. The power you have over me is overwhelming. It's like everything I do, everything I say, reminds me of you." I paused my thoughts, to gather the strength to look around my cold, quiet room. I caught a glimpse of the photo I had taken at the point when I was most happy. The music changes and my mood is lifted with the image of you. I visualise your face; your movements. You've become haunted in my memory, but I can't not think about you. I look at the song on my iPod. The gentle rhythm and lyrics fill my head.
Can you feel me
When I think about you
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do
My world is an empty place
It's exactly how I feel. The very moment you said the words which split us and just took off. But those words haunt my very existence, and I realise that you're my existence. Your part of my soul. The song continues, while I continue in a trance-like state, emotionally frozen. "Don't know if it's a mirage, But I always see your face" I sing the words out loud, as if they would silently reach you, and you would return. That's my wish anyway.
I'm missing you so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
The chorus tumbles through my mind. "I'm in love…Well, I was," I remember "until, you left. Now I need you!" I desperately cry into the atmosphere.
I turn, and look at the time, which is glowing on my alarm clock. 4:32pm. With an internal groan, I start to get up, pausing my music. "Lay down." A voice echoes in my mind. I freeze, my head becomes a weight so heavy, it would drown a sub. "You need to rest." The voice states. It's true though, I haven't slept since the incident. And now, I'm emotionally and physically drained.
Placing the headphones back into my ears, I return to lie down. The same song fills the crevices in my mind. The lyrics become intriguing.
The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind
Can't you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that's running dry
Catch me I'm falling
I heard your voice in my mind. Without question I know that you've, somehow, been keeping an eye on me and my wellbeing. I swear, whenever you return, or even if you return there's gonna be a monsoon when you get back to me. My tears of joy and relived happiness will be out of control. Even when my world is crumbling beneath my feet, I know you will be the one to keep me safe and protect me from harm. Until that day, I'm here, waiting. Ready for you to return to my, now cold and hopeless, limbs.
The music once again changes to a happier song, and now the lyrics fill me with hope:
You are the best thing that's ever been mine