Oxymoron
by Portmanteau
A/N: This is my first fic, please be kind, it's pretty hard to find the courage to post this as it is.
Mai closed her eyes, a silent tear sliding through her cheeks.
She has been wishing for this to happen, for her to have the person she loved kissing her madly, hands desperately grabbing her waist, and the obvious attempts to lift her skirt.
She reveled on the feeling of Natsuki's hands, lips, tongue and hips, the lean abdomen toned to model-like perfection, the silky feeling of midnight hair tickling her and falling down her shoulders...
Mai shivered and gasped when she felt the porcelain skinned girl pushing her against the wall, moving her oh-so-perfect lips to the busty girl's neck, hands lowering one more time in yet another try to put her delicate hands on the inner parts of Mai's thighs, moaning when said hands lifted her legs, jean clad hips pressing in between them.
This was a night she had been dying to have since all the carnival madness had ended, almost six years ago. She smiled.
Mai just wished this meant a fraction of what it meant to her to Natsuki.
The smile quickly left her eyes. Mai knew. Yet she wasn't brave enough to face it.
Natsuki wasn't here because she needed her, because she couldn't live without her, because she loved her...Natsuki was here because she had left, she was the one Natsuki needed, she was the one Natsuki loved and she was the one Natsuki couldn't live without.
Natsuki was doing this to drown the pain, and Mai couldn't take it. She put her arms around the drop dead gorgeous blue haired girl in a futile try to ease Natsuki's soul, and to try to feel the warmth she was supposed to be feeling.
Mai softly stoked the rug where she was lying and shifted her view to the woman lying next to her, back facing the violet eyed girl. She was sure they didn't do it in the bedroom because it was where her and Natsuki did it, and was a sacred place for the girl next to her, and she was sure Natsuki wasn't facing her because of cowardice and fear of being seen crying.
Another tear slipped across Mai's cheek, and this time, she wasn't sure what it was for, the pain she was feeling or the pain that was killing Natsuki.