The familiar rush of hormones rolls through her as she recognizes the man in front of her. Who could forget those thick, wavy, chocolate brown locks. And those amber, almost golden, eyes? She could happily spend her entire life staring into them.

They exchange an awkward greeting and start their usual small talk. There had been something growing between them lately, at least on Sakura's end, although she was almost certain that he felt it too. It was odd. Usually they could make it through their awkward exchanges with no problems. But this time feels different. There's something new in his eyes, as if he's looking at her in a different way. And his body language is off too. His usually tense shoulders are suddenly relaxed, and she admires how good his arms look in his crisp button-up shirt.

He must notice her looking him up and enjoy the attention that comes with it. The energy in the rooms shifts, and his face suddenly changes to one of longing. Slowly, hesitantly, he raises his hand to cup her right cheek. Chills go down her spine as he rushes his face towards her, closing the gap between them with his lips. The kiss is gentle and almost uncertain at first, as if he was asking for an invitation. She quickly complies and the kiss intensifies. She feels her senses go blurry and her cheeks turn hot. His hand gently moves from her cheek to the back of her head, pushing her closer to him, if that were even possible. She runs her hands up his toned chest, and, against her better judgement, she gives in to her desire. She prods her tongue at his lower lip, testing to see how far this delicious kiss would go. He eagerly opens his mouth, letting their tongues—

Thump. Thump.

Sakura moans as the sound regretfully wakes her from her dream. As her senses come back to reality, she recognizes the sound of someone knocking at the door of her apartment.

"Mmmm… no…" She quietly complains to herself, deciding to ignore whoever it was at her door. She wants nothing more than to return to her dream and indulge in it's sweetness a bit more.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

"Sakura?" The muffled yet familiar voice of a young man calls from behind the door. "It's me. It's…uh…Li."

Her eyes shot open, and her ears prick at the sound of his name. She had always found his name to sound so lovely. Syaoran Li. She loved the way it rolled off the tongue.

Syaoran.

The man from her dream, who had been giving her the best kiss of her life.

The man who had actually given her the best kiss of her life about two nights ago.

The man she had been majorly crushing on for the past few months.

The man who was also currently dating one of her closest friends.

Shit.

Groggily, she rises herself up from her previous position on the couch and rubs her eyes. A wave of anxiety-induced nausea rolls through her.

"Uh…coming!" Her voice cracks, and she cringes at the sound.

She stands up, stretches, and makes her way towards the door. She briefly stops at the mirror in the front entryway of the apartment, and quickly checks her appearance, hopefully not looking too sleepy. Deciding that she looks decent, despite her having just woken up from a nap, she takes a deep breath, and opens the door.

Yes, it's him. He stands nearly 6 feet tall, towering over her petite frame. She couldn't help but admire his athletic build and his deliciously tanned skin. He's slim, like her, but his muscles are toned and absolutely gorgeous.

"Hi…" He says with an awkward grin on his face, putting a hand behind his head.

Even just that sight is enough to make her melt. She's certainly in trouble with this one.

"So, uh, you probably know why I'm here. We really should… oh. Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" He quickly turns away from her, hiding the blush that's rising to his face.

What was he suddenly embarrassed about? Did she look funny?

Sakura does a quick body scan and realizes, with horror, what made him react that way.

She apparently had not taken the time during her quick glance in the mirror to notice that she was not wearing any pants.

"Oh god!" She exclaims, slamming the door shut. "Clearly I wasn't expecting any company today." She half-heartedly jokes, as if this situation wasn't uncomfortable enough. She runs from the entryway to the living room, where she had haphazardly thrown the leggings that she had previously been wearing before her nap. She throws them on and takes a second to compose herself and lower her heart rate.

"I'm really sorry!" Syaoran says from behind the door. "I swear I didn't see anything."

Sakura approaches the door again, taking hold of the cool metal of the doorknob.

"Um, it's okay." She stammers. "I was just…uh…napping when you… well, you know." Being that she was currently working on her post-grad degree, she was considered to be a rather intelligent and put-together person. But it seems that whenever Syaoran is around, she turns into a blubbering mess. She opens the door again, and Syaoran turns to face her again.

"Again, sorry about that." He apologizes again, his cheeks still red. Even after that embarrassing incident, she still couldn't help but feel her heart beat faster at the thought of her appearance having even the slightest effect on him.

"Let's just move on from that, shall we?" She lets out an embarrassed laugh and motions for him to come inside. It was probably not the greatest idea to be alone in her apartment with him, but it couldn't be avoided. They certainly couldn't have the conversation they were about to have out in the hallway.

"Sure," he responds as he stepped inside.

Suddenly, Sakura becomes aware of how messy her place was. She typically kept her apartment at least somewhat tidy, but the events from the other night had left her a confused mess, which in turn, led to the mess in her home. Not wanting to embarrass herself even further (if that were even possible), she stammers out an offer for him to sit down and rushes to pick up the items of clothing and food wrappers lying around her living room.

"Sorry about the mess," she squeaks out, refusing to look at him. That was another thing. Her voice always sounded so squeaky to her when he was around. Why couldn't she just play it cool, just this once? "Again, I wasn't expecting anyone to come by today."

"Don't worry about it," Syaoran sheepishly replies. "I probably shouldn't have dropped by unannounced. I guess I was just afraid to lose my nerve."

It was so strange. Well, everything had seemed strange since the other night. But for so long, Sakura had convinced herself that all she was to Syaoran was just his girlfriend's weird friend. With how stupid she always gets around him, she figured that he either had always known that she had a major crush on him or he had always thought she was certifiably insane. The thought that he perhaps was having the same feelings for her was simply bizarre. She decides to not reply to his comment, and throws the trash in a nearby wastebasket, and the pieces of clothing into the laundry room. When she returns to the living room, Syaoran is sitting on her couch, leaning his elbows on his knees. He perks up when he notices her return, and sits up straight, more tense than before.

"So …" Sakura hesitates as she sits on the opposite end of the plush gray couch.

"So …" Syaoran repeats after her, stroking his stubble, drawing her attention to his sharp jawline. Why did he have to look so effortlessly gorgeous all the time? She really needs to be able to keep her composure for this conversation.

"About the other night," Syaoran begins. "Well, what are you thinking about…uh…what happened?"

She replays the night in her head, similarly to how she had just dreamt it. Being that she had begun her post-grad program this year, she was spending her Thursday night in the university library, studying for an upcoming exam. She was seated at an empty table in the corner of the 2nd floor of the library, with her laptop, books and notes scattered around her. It was her usual spot, giving her lots of privacy, as its location was not easily spotted unless you walked right up to it due to the bookshelves around it. She was in the zone in her studies, her senses unaware of the world around her. That is, until the handsome but unattainable young man that she had purposely been avoiding lately sat down opposite her. They started talking, getting more comfortable with each other. And, next thing they knew, they were sharing the most passionate kiss that Sakura had ever had.

"Well, I, uh…" Sakura struggles to respond, not really knowing herself what she was thinking. She definitely enjoyed the kiss, enough to cause her to dream about it days later. And it wasn't as if she hadn't been fantasizing about him beforehand, either. But, still. He was dating Akiho, one of her oldest friends, having been friends with her since middle school. Both she and Akiho met Syaoran in a class they were all taking last summer. Sakura was immediately smitten, and she and Syaoran quickly became close. It was so easy talking to him. It had seemed like they were totally compatible. So it shocked Sakura when Syaoran asked Akiho out instead of her. After that, things between them became more strained. Nevertheless, Sakura's feelings for him still grew as she watched him fall for her friend. And as much as she couldn't ignore her growing feelings, she also couldn't betray her friend by acting on them.

"You know what," Syaoran interjects her stuttering. "Why don't I start?" He clears his throat and squirms in his seat a little. He turns to face her. "That kiss. It was…well, you know how it was. And I can't lie to you and say that I hadn't thought of doing that before that night."

Sakura's heart leaps up to her throat. Maybe it wasn't so one-sided after all.

"And I have to admit, it was fun talking to you like we used to. You know, before things got…complicated."

Sakura feels a glimmer of hope rise in her.

"But …"

And her heart drops back into her chest. Actually, scratch that. It dropped so far that now it was in her stomach.

"But you're with Akiho," she interrupts, smiling sadly.

"Sakura…"

"It's okay," Sakura says dejectedly. "I mean, I don't know what else I expected. God, I'm sorry." Her eyes start welling up with tears. She looks down at her lap, hot shame rising to her face. Not only had she embarrassed herself enough today by how she answered the door, but now she was being utterly rejected. Feelings of shame, guilt, and disappointment swirled within her.

"I am a horrible friend," she hides her face in her hands, about to reveal one of the nastiest thoughts she had had since that kiss.

"Sakura?"

"Can you believe that I was actually hoping that you would say that you were leaving her?" She knows that she's about to overshare, but at this point, she doesn't care. She's going to have to distance herself from both Syaoran and Akiho after this anyway, so what else does she have to lose? "How cruel am I? I'm so stupid. I can't believe that I ever thought that there was anything between us. And now I've put you in this awful position."

"God damnit," Syaoran angrily swears. His sudden outburst causes Sakura to look up from her hands to see that Syaoran is kneeling in front of her. His golden eyes are so intense, yet also somehow gentle as he looks into hers. She can't tell if his gaze is of pity or affection. He gently cups her cheek with his hand, like he had done the other night, wiping a tear away with his thumb. The gesture is so genuinely warm and sweet that another sob rolls out of her, bringing with it a new round of hot and salty tears.

"Shit," he swears again as he stands, pulling Sakura up with him. He hastily brings both hands to either side of her tearstained face and his lips crash into hers.

She melts into the kiss, tears still running down the cheeks that he holds in his strong hands. It was confusing since it just seemed like he was rejecting her, but no one could deny the chemistry between them. It feels as if her lips belonged on his. As bittersweet as the kiss is, being as it would likely be their last, Sakura lets herself give in, and she places her hands on his sides, feeling the toned muscles that lay there. The kiss intensifies just as it had before, except this time, hands start to wander to places where they shouldn't. Tongues start going into play, exploring the mouth of the other person.

Sakura suddenly notices how loose and baggy the old button-up flannel she's wearing is, and how perfectly Syaoran's black V-neck fit his build. As well as the pressure building between her legs. This was not good. This is exactly what shouldn't be happening. And yet, neither are stopping it.

Never breaking the kiss, Syaoran starts to turn and move forward, making Sakura fall backwards onto the couch. He follows suit, practically falling on top of her, and she opens her legs for him. He begins to run his hands over her body, starting at her thighs, and moving up her sides. Every touch feels like electricity shooting through her. He breaks the kiss, the two breathing heavily. Their eyes meet, both filled with lust and desire. Syaoran glances down at her chest and starts undoing the top button. He then hesitates for a moment, the both of them knowing that once clothes started coming off, there was no going back.

Were they really going to do this?

Sakura, more daring than usual, answers the question for them. Slowly, she undoes the second button. And then the third, and fourth, and so on, leaving her breasts just barely unexposed. Syaoran places his hand just above her breasts, slowing moving the flannel material to the side, and she is in full view of him.

"Oh my god, Sakura," he breathes, enamored at the very sight of her bare chest. He lowers his face to her neck while caressing her. The way he says her name like that makes her shiver, and she suddenly becomes aware of his hard-on pressing between her legs. He kisses right at that perfect spot where her neck meets her jaw, and then sucks on her neck, eliciting a moan from her. Her hands find their way to his back, and she finds herself pulling at the cotton t-shirt that separates her hands from his bare skin.

He lifts himself off of her, allowing them both enough space to remove the top half of their clothing. After slipping back out of her leggings, Sakura sits up, starting to reach for his belt. But something in her clicks, making her hesitate.

"Syao…" She starts, the two of them catching their breath. She hadn't realized how long it had been since she had last called him by the silly nickname she gave him when they were still on good terms. But for some reason, in this moment, she naturally used it. "I … I don't … I'm not…"

"… We can't do this," Syaoran sighs, leaning back to get off of her. "Right?"

She slowly and shakily rises from her horizontal position on the couch, her face still red hot from the hormones rushing through her. There is nothing she wants more than to be with him like she almost just had been, but she couldn't live with herself if she had gone through with it.

"I'm sorry, Syao." She turns away from him. From the corner of her eye, she could see that he had his head in his hands, and she couldn't face him looking like that. "We can't do this to Akiho. But Syao-."

"God damnit, Sakura, stop calling me that!" He interjects, making her jump. Akiho had said that he could have a temper sometimes, but Sakura had never seen it in action before. In an angry and ungraceful motion, Syaoran stands, hastily putting his shirt back on and heading towards the door.

"Syao… Syaoran!" Sakura cries out to him. "Wait, please don't leave! We need to talk about-."

"Sakura, just stop!" He interrupts her again with a harsh tone. Without another word, he slams the door behind him and storms out, leaving Sakura on the couch, practically naked, and alone once again.

She stars at the door, silent, ugly sobs rolling out of her as she processes what had just happened. Was he seriously mad at her for not having sex with him? Or maybe he was ashamed with himself and took it out on her. Either way, she had lost every chance of being with him after today. Why did it hurt so bad to lose someone who wasn't even hers in the first place?