Author's Note: Okay, so this plot bunny won't leave me be. Okay, you win! Put the carrot loaded Uzi down, Bugs! Thank you...
What really pissed me off about the premiere was how indifferent Brennan seemed to the whole Hannah/Booth together thing. Booth could've been telling her about the weather for all she (outwardly) cared so I want to give a more realistic perspective on the regretful jealousy she's got to be feeling. I know that this fic has already been done a skillion times but I want to play too and hopefully, I can put a unique CMW2 spin on the idea. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
Long after everyone had left for home, Dr. Temperance Brennan was still in limbo, working on identifying the bones of the forgotten ones. She had been down there every day for the last 2 weeks, instructing her students to handle the cases with Booth. It was better that way. If she didn't have to be around him for extended periods of time, she could pretend that it was all normal. She could pretend not to see the renewed spark in his expressive eyes, the brand new (less gaudy) ties he wore, and the faint tell-tale love marks on his clavicle. She could pretend that she hadn't thrown away her one viable option for happiness and driven him into the arms of another, more compatible, more attractive...blonde woman.
She could pretend that Special Agent Seeley Booth was just her partner, nothing more and nothing less. She could pretend that she wasn't hurting. Brennan was very good at pretending. Everyone thought that she didn't care about Hannah and Booth being…Hannah and Booth. They thought she was down there to catch up the seven month backlog. Her seven month backlog. If she hadn't been so selfish and cowardly, there would be no backlog, no unfamiliarity, no loneliness, no Han-
With a shake of her head, Brennan brutally cut off that train of thought. What was done was done. Yes, Maluku had been a mistake but it was in the past now and there was no use in dwelling on "might have beens". Booth had moved on and it was his right to move on. She had held him back long enough. He deserved a wife, more children, happiness, warmth…things that she couldn't give to him. All she could really give him was death and frost. The only people she could relate to were the dead. It was okay. Contrary to many superstitions, the dead had no power to hurt. Not like people. Not like Booth…not that she was hurting. No, not at all…
"You need to go home, Bones."
Booth. What was he doing here? Why wasn't he at home with Hannah? She was probably waiting for him in the apartment they shared…the bed they shared…the life they shared…the life that should be he- no!
"I'm still working, Booth. I'll go home when I'm finished."
It was the most she had said to anyone that didn't have to do with work.
"No. Now." he insisted while grabbing her wrist.
She moved it away immediately and continued laying out the bones, ignoring his gaze on her. She didn't want him to look at her. He had Hannah to look at now. He had Hannah to fuss over and banter with. He didn't need her anymore. Damn it, why was he here anyway, Brennan wondered with annoyance. He had a life now! He should be living it with his "serious as a heart attack" lo- Hannah!
"You've been avoiding me, Bones."
She bit the inside of her cheek.
"You haven't been home for more than 2 hours. Enough to get a nap in and a shower and then you come right back down here to hide."
Bile rose in her throat.
"And it's not just me you're hiding from. You think everyone hasn't noticed it? How you shy away from any sort of contact, how you find ways to avoid going out, even just to the gardens outside…how you're not eating."
Actually, she was eating. Brennan remembered eating a granola bar that morning…or was it the morning before?
"What's wrong, Bones? Is someone hurting you?" Booth asked with confused concern. "Did…some guy…well…"
"I have not been sexually assaulted, Booth. Nor have I been accosted in any other way. I'm simply making up for my ill advised departure to Maluku. These bones are people, people who deserve to be identified and cared about. It's my responsibility to do that."
"You also have a responsibility to take care of yourself!"
Her teeth sank lightly into her lower lip and she was tempted to blurt it all out. She wanted to tell him that was certainly not okay with him coming home with a…Hannah and that she was sorry and scared and desperate to at least make a attempt at being that woman, the one he could spend decades with. But, he could reject her. He had every right to, after all. The idea of him doing it, though was absolutely unacceptable so she did what she did best.
She pushed him away.
"I'm fine, Booth. Go home." she denied quietly.
"Bones…"
"Go home! Leave me alone so that I can work in peace!" she snapped while finally giving him a disdainful glare.
He looked as if she had slapped him but then, his own frost went over his expressive brown eyes…eyes that haunted her…
"All right, Dr. Brennan. I'm ever so sorry to have disturbed you. Pardon me for actually giving a damn about you. I guess that's the eighth deadly sin, now." he sniped with sharp anger.
"Apology accepted. Now, get out."
He gave her one last blistering look and then shook his head, his hands up in defeat as he moved.
The slamming of the door rattled the bones on the cold gurney and she listened as his angered gait faded into nothing, leaving her alone once again because of her hyper rational mouth and cowardice.
It was okay.
She was used to it.
/
Damn her.
Damn. Her.
Damn. Her. To. Hell.
How dare she act like she was the put upon victim, now? She had rejected him. She had pushed him away. She had run off to Maluasshairistan to play around with cavemen bones! What had she expected him to do? He had pined after the woman for 5 years and got nothing but pain as she "satisfied her biological urges" with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that had a doctorate. Well, except for Sully, of course. And then, she had contemplated sailing off into the damn sunset, leaving him in the dust once again. And she had rejected him! "I can't.", she had said that night! She had gone on some noble spiel saying that he deserved better, ignoring his pleas that he didn't want better, he just wanted her before driving away in a damn cab and leaving him devastated.
He had gone to Afghanistan to escape it all and he had in the form of Hannah Burley. They were together and slowly but surely, they were moving in together. He was in a happy, straight forward relationship with a gorgeous reporter…
And yet, he still cared about Temperance Brennan. He still dreamed of her (thankfully not like the Coma) and thought he could read still the want and care in her body language. But, every time he tried to move towards that part of her, she'd shut it off and find someone else, anyone else. She had done it all the time.
Why was he the bad guy when he followed her example? Everyone treated him like he had cheated her out of something and he hadn't. He had only promised to meet her at the Reflecting Pool. He hadn't promised a relationship. He hadn't given her a ring like Sweets did with Daisy. He had only promised to return to DC and he had. He had fulfilled that promise…
You know that's 100 pounds of horseshit, Shrimp. You did promise more than to not come home in a body bag and you went back on it. You went over into that hellhole and picked up the first nubile little thing you could to prove something. But what were you tryin' to prove? That you don't love that "squint" of yours? Fat lot of good that did…
He continued slogging through his paperwork, uncaring of Hannah's concerned glances at him as she prepared dinner. Macaroni and cheese, it smelled like. It smelled good. Not as good as Bones' but…damn it!
"Seeley?"
"Mmph?" he grunted as he started in on another stack.
"Did you and Dr. Brennan have a fight?"
"No."
"Yes, you did. I know it. It was about me, wasn't it? She hates me…" Hannah trailed off sadly.
"It wasn't a fight, it was a misunderstanding. And Bones doesn't hate you, babe."
"Yes, she does! I took her man away from her and she hates me for it!"
"I wasn't her man!" he retorted defensively as he faced her. "I was never her man!"
"Not for a lack of trying! She rejected you one too many times so you left and found me! And while you were gone, she finally stopped being scared but you came home with me in your phone and in your life, ruining everything!"
"Hannah…"
She slammed the pan of pasta down and put her hands on her hips, getting in his face.
"Do you think I'm stupid, Seeley? Do you think I can't see the looks you share with her? Do you think I don't see the pain in her eyes every time I come around? Do you think I can't hear all the whispers about me being a "home-wrecker"?" she snapped.
'There's no home to wreck!"
"That's bull! You and I both know that you're only in this to show everyone that Temperance Brennan is not the great love of your life and all you're doing is making it more obvious that you love her and only her!"
"That's not true! Hannah, I…"
She held up a hand and said, "Seeley, you don't love me. At least not in the way that you think you should and I understand. I understand completely! I'm not even angry about it! What I'm angry about is that you're putting yourself and her through unnecessary pain!"
He looked away from her and before he could filter them, the words came out.
"It is necessary. She needs to…"
"…see what it's like to get her heart stomped on? To feel the anguish of being without the one she loves and needs more than anything? To feel like she's never good enough, never the one? To be burnt and broken like you've been since you met her? I think you've accomplished that very well, Seeley. You're not moving on. You can't. You're punishing her and I…I don't want to be a part of it anymore. It's not right. Don't get me wrong, you're a great man and I've enjoyed being with you but…she's always there. She's…I can't compete. I can't. I won't."
Booth sighed and looked at her sadly. She gave him a sad but genuine smile back and he nodded slowly, conceding defeat to her logic and his conscience.
"And you shouldn't. And you're right. Hannah, I'm sorry for hurting you."
"Eh. Well that's what I get for fallin' for a soldier boy."
He snorted ruefully and put his shoes back on.
"I'm gonna…I'm gonna let you have some time to you know…get your stuff and…"
"Go talk to her, Seeley. Don't let her shut you out and for god's sake, don't give up again. Now, get gone so I can cry and pack in peace."
/
Loud, rapid banging on her front door startled her out of her doze.
"Bones? Bones, I know you're in there! The light's on!"
She reached up from holding Jasper and turned it off, making him laugh sadly.
"Okay, I deserve that but listen to me. I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier and I'm sorry for hurting you. Hannah and I…we broke up. In fact, she broke up with me. She said it was because she knew that I didn't love her in the way that I claimed to and…and that I was using her to punish you for the whole 'I can't' thing and as bastardly as it is…she was right. Bones, I…going to Afghanistan was a mistake. Sure, I helped train the boys over there and I helped people but …I couldn't run away from how I felt about you, how I still feel about you."
She looked up from Jasper and towards the door.
"I still love you, Temperance. I can't unlove you and yeah, I know that unlove is not a word but that's the best I can come up with. I'm a Luddite, after all…"
This time, the teeth in her lower lip was to suppress mirth, not tears.
"..but the point is that I'm not giving up again and I'll be damned as fuck if I leave you again! You're it for me in all your squinty, bone loving glory, woman and even though you say you can't you love me the way I should be, I know you can! You have for the last 5 years! You've saved my ass, you've backed me up, you've cooked for me, you adore my son, and…and I tell you stuff! I tell you stuff that I don't tell my priest!"
Shakily she stood up and started towards the door.
"I can't promise that I won't die on you but I'll shoot as many angels as I can before doing it and even if we don't get married or have babies, I don't care just long as I'm with you."
She opened the door and looked at him dead on for the first time since their hug at the Reflecting Pool.
"Bones…"
"You do realize that my neighbors are probably going to call the police for all the racket you've made, don't you? And don't call me Woman."
His jaw dropped and she could barely keep it together as incredulity filled his thankfully warm eyes.
"After all of that rambling, man card revoking honesty I just gave you, that's all you have to say?"
"No."
"Okay. Then what?"
Instead of telling him what, she pulled him to her by his tie and pressed a kiss to his lips. One of his large hands went to her back and hauled her up against him firmly. Due to her lack of shoes, she had to stand on her tiptoes to really get the depth…and tongue she wanted but it was worth it. He was worth it.
"Understand now?" she rasped.
"No. Say it again." he wheezed making her giggle (yes, she was capable of giggling) before returning to his lips.
When they broke for air, he tangled his fingers in her growing out hair and tilted her head back just enough for her to look up into his eyes again.
"I still think that I'm incapable of being the woman you mentioned that night but…I can try. I have a steep learning curve."
He chuckled and replied, "That's all I ask. Hey, is this my shirt?"
"Maybe.", she deadpanned as she tugged at the hem of the navy blue FBI shirt.
"It is my shirt. My name's right there."
His finger rested on the swell of her left breast where BOOTH was printed there neatly.
"You stole my shirt."
Feeling impish she backed away from him slowly and offered, "You're welcome to get it back if you want."
A new gleam entered his eyes and her cheeks flushed at the look that was on his face as he advanced them towards her bedroom.
He may very well get his shirt back, Brennan concluded.
Along with her panties.
And her bra.
And her naked, willing body.
And her heart.
Most importantly, he would be offering himself to her, including his heart and this time instead of running away, she would run to him and stay.
She would never push him away again.