InuYasha Goes to RAW
By: DMEX
Nothing is mine
-RAW Locker Room-
InuYasha: Where the hell did you take me to anyway, Kagome?
Kagome: It's called "Monday Night RAW".
InuYasha: So what's so "RAW" about it? I don't see any dead carcasses or demons around.
Kagome: NOT THAT KIND OF RAW!
The Miz comes in about this time
Miz: What the HELL are you supposed to be?
InuYasha: That depends? Who's asking!
Kagome: Sit, boy.
(THUD!)
InuYasha (angry): WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!
Kagome: You were thinking about fighting him.
Miz starts laughing his ass off
(thunderous blow is heard)
InuYasha: Damn guy acts like he's never seen a half-demon before.
Kagome: He deserved that one.
InuYasha: Oh, yeah… This guy needs his ass kicked!
-Backstage-
Shippo was on his way back from the food stand when he happened to see Miroku hitting on Maryse
Shippo (thinking): He's done for…
Miroku: So why not dump this loser and bear me a child?
*(angry): MONK!
Miroku turns around and it's Sango and she's pissed off
Miroku: Sango, when did you-
(Thunderous blows)
Miroku has a red slap mark and a lump on his head
Miroku (thinking): I wasn't really interested in her anyway. The odor she has is God awful.
Sango: Don't let me catch you womanizing again, Miroku.
Miroku: Whatever…
Shippo: Seriously, Miroku. You do realize she has a boyfriend.
Miroku: Who happens to be a rich jackass.
Sango: I'm serious; if I catch you womanizing again, I'll- I'll- I'll BEAT YOU SO BADLY THAT YOU'LL NEVER WOMANIZE AGAIN!
-RAW Zone-
Justin Roberts: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to Monday Night RAW; the stars of the hit Anime on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim's InuYasha, InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku the Monk, Sango and Shippo; THE DEMON SLAYERS!
(My Will IY Season 1 credits music blares; Crowd cheers but mostly boos Miroku)
King: Some guys get all the luck, Cole.
Cole: You mean InuYasha?
King: No, way. I'm talking about Miroku.
Cole: You do realize he was hitting on Maryse in the back and he got beat up for it.
King: So what?
Cole: Add to the fact that she's with Ted DiBiase.
Kagome: Hello out there…
(crowd cheers)
(Loud car horn blares as Spanish music blares, the crowd boos intensely)
Felix Rodriguez: (speaks Spanish) ALBERRRRTO DEL RIIIIIOOOO!
InuYasha: Who the hell are you!
ADR: Who am I, Chicano? My name is Alberto Del Rio.
InuYasha: I don't know what a Chi-con-no is; but when I find out, I'm going to slice you in half!
(Pulls Tetsusaiga out and its in its full form; the crowd is cheering wildly and is all in favor of it)
Cole: Oh, my God! Get that out of there before he kills someone!
King: No way, Cole! He's showing Alberto who's boss! THIS IS GREAT!
Kagome: Sit boy.
(THUD!)
(crowd boos)
InuYasha (angry): WHY'D YOU DO THAT!
Kagome: He may be a world class jerk but that doesn't give you the right to kill him.
Shippo: What's a "Chicano" anyway?
(E-Mail blips)
InuYasha: Where's that coming from?
Cole (putting his glasses on): I've received an E-Mail from our General Manager. And I quote: "If you want to see InuYasha, whoop Alberto Del Rio's ass, give me a 'Hell Yeah!'-"
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Cole: "-I'm putting you in a match with him tonight and it will be a Texas Cage Match with Weapons. However; you InuYasha cannot use your massive sword-"
InuYasha: Good, so long as I get to beat him senseless!
Cole: "-If you want to see Miroku get some ass whooping, give me a 'Hell Yeah!'-"
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Cole: "-Miroku, because you were sexually harassing Maryse in the back, you will face Maryse's boyfriend, Ted DiBiase in a Diva's Revenge Match-"
Miroku: Pardon?
Cole: "-The WWE Diva's will have leather belt straps and if you leave the ring for ANY reason, they will be allowed to hit you with them. And that's the bottom line, because the General Manager said so!"
King: WOW! A Diva's Revenge Match!
Cole: I think Miroku's womanizing has finally caught up to him.
-Later, in the Locker Room-
Shippo is with the Bella Twins, and InuYasha is sulking in the corner
Brie Bella: Is he still sulking?
Shippo: Yeah, he got beat up by that Alberto guy by a landslide.
InuYasha: DID NOT!
Shippo: He almost tore your arm off and cried like a baby for 20 minutes.
Nikki Bella: He's so cute…
InuYasha: Oh, sure take HIS side and-
The Bellas start petting InuYasha, does that dog-like thing they do when they get scratched in their good spot
InuYasha (angry): WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU MAKING ME DO!
Brie Bella: I think someone needs a belly rub!
InuYasha: Touch me and-
He taps out within 30 seconds Kagome and Sango come in. Shippo, Kagome and Sango sweat drops.
InuYasha: Will you quit petting me like I'm some stupid dog!
Kagome: Sit boy.
(THUD!)
Nikki Bella: And obedient too…?
Miroku comes in all bloodied and bruised. He passes out Ric Flair style
Sango: Hopefully this beating he got will teach him not to womanize anyone again.
Shippo: Give him a week and he'll be back to the same thing.
-1 week later, Feudal Japan-
InuYasha: Kagome, let me make something clear; what happened at RAW, STAYS AT RAW!
Kagome: Maybe you need a belly rub again?
(pan to the sky)
InuYasha (fearfully): DON'T TOUCH ME!
(End?)