Author's notes: Hey everyone, this is my first Yu Yu Hakusho fic, so please don't blast this with flames even if you hate it. If you see something that doesn't quite fit, then please by all means politely tell me where the error is so that I can fix it. Before you ask: Nuri (and her future daughter) belongs to me. This short chapter is a prologue for the rest of the fanfic. If people are interested in seeing this continued, I will be more than happy to post the next chapter.
Special thanks to Faith and Inu-midoriko for reading it over and making sure I got the bugs out!
Without further ado: enjoy the read and please remember to the review!
The biting cold of the Glacial Village was ruthlessly ignored as the grieving mother made her way towards the cliff once more. Her thoughts were once again going in the familiar downward spiral that she was powerless to stop. Since her feet were bare the ground behind her marked her way with bloody footprints as the hole in her heart eclipsed any other pain she could feel. Although she shed no tears at the moment, the devastation in her eyes hinted that the lone ice apparition was no longer in her right mind. As she walked, she wondered yet again why she had given in to the temptation of returning to her village when she had found out she was with child. Had she truly been that naïve?
Either way, returning had been a mistake. A mistake that cost her the lives of both her children. Though her daughter would live, Hina could not bear the thought- no, the overwhelming abyss of guilt- of knowing that her daughter's twin brother was dead. How could she watch over Yukina knowing that her daughter would always feel that there was something missing in her life even though she would never know what that was if the Elder had her way. Ri would take care of Yukina, if for no other reason than out of memory of the friendship they had once shared when they were younger.
One year. It was amazing to Hina how much things can change in a year. The sad part was that Hina had forgotten that within the Glacial Village nothing ever changed. She had grown up, changed and now viewed the world in a much different light than her fellow sister ice apparitions. Privately, she admitted to herself that she had hoped that she would have been able to inspire her sisters to finally break out of their self imposed isolation and make them stop pretending that the rest of the world did not exist. Instead, she had discovered that you can't put the chick back into the egg after it has already hatched.
Within three days of returning, Hina had found herself in a trap of her own making. She soon realized that she was not going to be allowed to leave when it was discovered she was pregnant. However, the true danger she put herself in had not come to light until she'd given birth to the twins: one female, one male. Seeing her children coo as she held them in her arms, it was only at that point that the whole reality of her mistake began to fully sink in. However, by that time it was far too late to do anything to stop it. All she could do was hold her son closely in her arms and pray that someday she would be forgiven for this grave error in judgment.
Yet the horrors did not end there... needing a rest, Hina sat down on a snow-covered boulder. By now she was halfway up the slope, she wasn't tired; but remembering the next part always took her legs out from under her and she did not come this far to die before leaving the island in which she was imprisoned. Closing her eyes, she allowed one hiruseki stone to fall, a memento of her past- and of her future. Behind her closed eyelids, she saw his face one more time: the last time she'd seen him alive. Happy and laughing, with his gold eyes dancing in good humor as he twirled her around the dance floor showing her the steps while her best friend looked on in laughter. Allowing herself a smile, she remembered all the times that she had tried desperately to force his hair to lay down straight. It never worked though, no matter how many tubes of grease- or was it oil, she could not remember- she used on his hair. His midnight black hair stood straight up as though defying the very laws of nature itself. When you added in the white streak in his hair, Hina was left thinking he had been struck by lightning.
Yes, he had been a very gentle man. He had never once raised his voice in anger, but there was no denying that he was a giant among men. It always amused him when Hina tried to play with his hair, as he called it. When she had decided to return to the glacial village, he had wanted to come with her if only to make sure she got there safely. There was no way she could have known just how much he had loved her. He had tried to save her but was killed by the Elder. Until that moment she had not known how much she loved him in return. There hadn't been any kind of talk of marriage or any kind of formal bonding by either of their culture's customs at the time before she left.
The last words he said were: "Hina, if you can hear me, I love you more than anything!"
Though she had screamed, cried, and fought against her captors with all of her might- wanting only to reach his side so that she could say what she had always wanted to say to him yet had never had the courage to speak her thoughts aloud- by the time she got to the door all she saw was her lover's face frozen in a scream of horror as he fell in a spreading pool of blood. An icicle the length of her arm impaling his chest. Mercifully, she must've blacked out because Hina never found out what they had done with his body after they murdered him. And it was murder, of that she had no doubt. He would've never hurt them willingly unless he had been provoked.
Sitting up, Hina looked down at the small pile of hiruseki stones that overflowed in her lap spilling onto the ground before her. Absently the ice apparition wondered why she found it so easy to cry as she gathered the stones in her hands and put them off to one side letting them litter the ground beside her. After a moment she reached down the front of her kimono to hold her mother's stone in the palm of her hand. Looking at her mother's stone her attention was instead drawn to a ring that had also been strung on that string to hide it from her sister apparitions. Seeing this ring almost made Hina break into tears all over again.
'Nuri... ' A hard lump momentarily threatened to suffocate the grieving woman as she slipped the ring off of the string that held her stone as well before retying it around her neck. Now holding onto the ring, she slipped it on its proper place: the forth finger of her right hand. 'You were right about outgrowing this place... I'm so sorry. I wish I could talk to you now.'
'Hina, Hina, Hina. Don't you know we are always connected?' A warm voice asked gently in the back of her mind as though in answer.
Hearing that voice, if only in her mind, always made Hina smile. Even now the ice apparition could see the amused annoyance on the face of her soul sister. Behind her closed eyelids Hina could picture the tall Amazon-like build of the flame haired fire demoness that had so quickly drawn Hina into her world. 'Remember the first time we met Nuri? I was akin to a lost puppy dog you dragged home. Would you believe that I had honestly thought you were bringing me as the main course for dinner?'
'Ew! As dirty as you were at the time, I would have at least given you a bath first. Imagine my chagrin when I finally figured out that you couldn't understand a single word we were saying. Seriously, you looked so helpless out there that I am still amazed you survived so long.' The voice shot back, making Hina chuckle briefly.
At this point, Hina didn't care whether hearing voices in your head meant you were insane or not. She figured she had nothing left to lose. Besides, it was good to hear from a voice that didn't think she was a wretched dirty whore for falling in love with a man. The ice apparition had a long wait until the sunrise: What better way to pass the time than to reminisce about how she'd gotten to this point? Wasn't that better than beating yourself up and wishing it had could never happened in the first place?
'Well, you got me back for that one, didn't you?' Hina asked the voice amusement filling her tone. 'I still can't believe your mother- the Queen!-allowed me to stay with you. You have no idea just how long it took for me to wrap my head around the fact that you were royalty of all things!' Her grieving eyes momentarily lit up in good humor as she thought back to the world she had left behind such a short time ago.
To say the least, fire and ice were opposites for a very good reason. While the ice apparitions valued calm and stillness, Nuri's people wore their passions on their skins and lived every day with excitement that matched the element in which they were born in. Even the language which their people spoke flowed and danced like the flames that burned within their hearts. Nuri wasn't her real name of course, but Hina didn't care. Living with her friend for so long Hina had learned the rudiments of her language, even if she couldn't speak it very well. Actually that was putting it politely. The ice apparition was fairly certain that if she lived another hundred years that Hina would never fully grasp the rudiments of a flame's tongue enough to speak it without swallowing her own.
Still, language was no barrier when it came to these seemingly kindred spirits. To Hina, Nuri had become the sister and best friend that she had always hoped Ri would become. Ri was a true ice maiden and never longed for adventure the way that Hina had, even though Ri never grew tired of listening to Hina as she talked. Despite having known each other for such a short period of time it felt as though the two of them had known each other their entire lives. So when- after only six months- Nuri came to Hina and offered her an official place in her court, Hina accepted the court ring with the feeling that everything was happening as though it was destiny guiding her to the place where she had really belonged...
The next few hours until sunrise passed peacefully. Hina reminisced with her old friend in mental conversation. As they talked, a weight was slowly being lifted off of the ice apparition's shoulders. Getting to her feet, she resumed her journey to the cliff in which her son had met his gruesome end. It was not until Hina had reached the cliff side and was standing over the edge watching the rising Sun turn the black sky of the night into the bloody red of daytime that Hina finally gathered her remaining courage and asked her friend the question she always wanted to ask since her son had died.
'Nuri, are you angry with me for my decision to return to the world that I was born in?'
'No, Hina. I am sad, but I'm not angry. You never did tell me why you wanted to return. Were you unhappy here?' A simple question, but filled with so much hurt behind those words.
The question made Hina's eyes burn with new tears. How was it possible that a person could have so many tears inside them? Wasn't there a limit to how many tears a person was born with? 'I was the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. When you brought me into your world I learned what life really was and I've learned what my sisters were missing out on. Is it so wrong that I wanted them to see that the outside world was not as horrible as it once was? Yes, there are bad things in the world below our island, but there is so much good that they've missed out on that they refused to see because all they knew were the bad things. My only regret is that their blindness will never be cured and that it cost the lives of my children to make me see that. You were right and I was wrong. Someday I hope that I will come again and that I will live my new life as a smarter and wiser person than I was in this one. From the bottom of my heart I want you to know that I love you as a sister and as the person who showed me how not to be afraid of my own heart. I wish that I could tell you how sorry I am that I will never be able to say this to your face, that I will never be able to meet your future daughter and that she will never be able to meet my children- her sister and her brother in spirit. Please do not condemn me in your heart for what I am about to do. I know that in your culture the taking of your own life is a sin, but I cannot live in the blindness any longer when you showed me life in the light.'
The voice did not answer and Hina felt the pain of loss even sharper than she had before she left the village the night before. Looking out into the rising sun, she remembered that as a child she had always wanted to fly. Watching the sun rise she knew that today she had truly gotten her wings. For the first time in her life she felt truly free. Letting go, she allowed gravity to take its natural course and followed her son. Hina let joy fill her soul as she felt the wind flow through her hair like her lover's caress as she fell from the heavens.
For one moment, one long eternal moment, Hina could fly.
There is no body in her grave. The ice apparitions- the very people that Hina had wanted so badly to bring into the light- had not even bothered to look for it. Instead they buried her belongings, it was almost sacrilegious and it felt more like a punishment rather than an act of mourning as they tossed in everything that had belonged to their dead kindred, trying to pretend that Hina had never existed. Except for Ri, no one cried as they filled in the hole and grew the traditional gravesite icicle over the so-called grave. If anything the mood was one of relief. The traitor to their people was dead, ironically they had placed her tombstone next to the man that they had murdered- the same man who had screamed his love for Hina with his final breath. Now, only Ri remained, alone in her silent grief.
Over and over Ri wondered what she could have done to prevent Hina from committing suicide. Had the life she was living away from the island- away from her family and those who loved her- been that precious to her? Had that man really loved her as he claimed? Too many questions would now never be answered because the dead could not talk. Stone after stone hit the frozen ground as she mourned one final time for the friend that Ri realized she never truly knew. Ignoring the cold, she dug a little hole and rolled the stones into it. In her eyes it was a fitting memorial.
When Ri rose to her feet, she discovered that she was not alone. Standing not far from Hina's grave was a woman- a fire demon- patiently waiting her turn to stand in front of the grave. Her clothing was of the deepest black and she was very, very pregnant. Frozen tears ran down her face but she did not seem to notice. Despite her tears the only thing that burned in her eyes was an angry hatred. The stranger made no move to approach Ri in any way and offered no threat to the ice apparition that was getting to her feet.
Ri needed no introduction- she knew that the grieving fire demon was none other than Nuri- this was the woman that Hina screamed forgiveness to in the pain of labor. Now on her feet, Ri stepped aside quickly getting out of Nuri's way. She said nothing as the other woman glided into the place that Ri had vacated. The silence stretched on as neither spoke but both stared with unseeing eyes at the thick tall icicle that marked Hina's tomb.
Finally, the other person spoke. "You must be Ri, Hina said you were the one who was closest to her in this village of unbeating emotionless hearts. She spoke very highly of you. I am glad to see that you did not disappoint her." Her voice sounded harsh with unshed tears and grief immeasurable.
Surprised, Ri studied this woman. Noting how her dark red hair was coiled in a thick clasp at the base of her neck. "Hina called you her Queen, was this true?"
"Yes, she served in my Court. I was the heir at the time when she accepted my ring. I am the queen now. My mother has passed on to the flame in which she had been born in. Before I take my throne, I wanted to stand witness for my sister." Her voice hardened. "Your people did not deserve to know someone like her! I do not blame her for how she died; I blame the ones that extinguished her will to live."
Ri bowed her head, knowing that every word was true. "So have you come to take her daughter as punishment for how we treated her mother?"
To her surprise Nuri shook her head. "I am not your so-called Elder. It is not my place to decide how Hina's child should live her life. I will not be the one to pass judgment on your people- it will be her daughter that does that. She will be allowed a choice the same way that Hina was given a choice. As much as I would like vengeance on your people for killing half of my family I will not blaspheme her memory in that way."
Shame filled Ri's heart at the fire Queen's mercy. "Yet your eyes say that you are going to give me a punishment to atone for what I have done- or perhaps I should say, for what I did not do."
A brief smile lit the other woman's face. "You are very intelligent." She praised calmly. "You are raising Yukina correct?"
"Yes. I insisted upon it." A shiver of fear went through the ice apparition. "How did you know her name?"
"I was there; I gave her comfort when she died- or rather just before she died." As she spoke the queen twisted a ring on the fourth finger of her left hand absently. "She did not know that she was talking to me. I never told her that the ring I had given her when she accepted service into my Court allowed me telepathic communication with her. She didn't like the idea of telepathy anyway. I only did it because I wanted to know that she would be safe and that no matter where she was I would be able to find her." Nuri closed her eyes in pain and laid a hand on her swollen stomach. For a moment, the fire Queen murmured in a language that was neither speech nor song but somewhere in between. "My daughter is restless. She feels my pain."
Unbidden, a new lump formed hard in Ri's throat. "Did Hina condemn me too?"
"No, but that doesn't mean she forgave you for what you did to her son." Stepping up to the icicle, Nuri took off one of her black gloves. After a moment of thought, the redhead carefully traced Hina's name in the icicle, etching it deeply into the frozen ice. "There. They cannot say she does not exist now. What I have done they cannot undo."
Ri took note of the satisfaction in Nuri's voice and deep in her heart the ice apparition shared it. "Thank you."
Nodding her acceptance, Nuri slipped her frozen fingers back into her glove ignoring the pain from the reddened skin. "I have to go."
As the woman turned away, Ri shouted in automatic protest. "Please wait. Don't you want to see her?"
"I cannot, not without breaking my promise to Hina. Besides, she looks just like her mother. And that I cannot bear right now."
"And my punishment?" At that moment, Ri realized just how much she wanted to do something to atone for what she had done. She knew she needed to be punished in some way by this person who cared so much for Hina that she had won her friend's loyalty to the point where being trapped here was not an option.
Nuri stopped and turned on heel to face Ri once again, her burning amber eyes cold with the hatred that she could never voice to those who richly deserved it. "Your punishment is this: When Yukina is old enough you will tell her the truth. All of it. No sugar coating it, no pretending that what you did was not wrong. You will tell her that she has a brother, you will tell her what you did to him. Even if the Elder tells you to lie or to take back what you said you will not do it. You will give me a word here and now as we stand in front of Hina's tomb that Yukina will be told everything that happened including why her mother left your village and just how much she loved the freedom she found outside of it."
Before Ri could speak, Nuri's eyes flash dangerously as a flame suddenly came to life in the center of her gloved palm. "If you do not do this, if I discover that you have lied or gone back on your word I will return or my daughter will return and we will finish what your Elder started when she killed my beloved sister and those she held most dear."
Dazed, Ri felt her legs go out from under her. Her body shook as the full weight of Nuri's task crashed down on her consciousness. And yet, it was a fitting punishment. For someone else to know the truth and who was not afraid to say what really happened. She swallowed hard and bowed until her entire body was before the fire Queen's feet. "I accept this punishment with all my heart and all my soul. Yukina will know the truth no matter what it costs me."
There was no answer, and when Ri looked up, she discovered that she was alone. Yet turning her head and looking at Hina's name that had been melted defiantly into the icy tombstone she knew full well that the promise was binding.
A little ways off and hidden by the snow Nuri watched as the ice apparition got to her feet and walked back to her village. Laying a hand consolingly on her swollen belly the Queen smiled a grim angry smile. "Hina I promise you no matter how long it takes: the truth will set your child free. I will not allow your daughter to be tangled in their lies. I could not save your son, but I will save your daughter. If she comes to me I will never turn her away." With her own vow spoken. She stood up straight and calmly walked away to claim her throne and promised that her daughter would know the truth as well.
One way or another, vengeance would be done.