Hey everyone, sorry it took me so long to post again. Real life sure gets in the way of things at times. This is the second time I am trying to upload this and it is going funny! I hope that you get it and the right version!
Janet Evanovich owns all I just borrow them.
All mistakes are mine and mine alone!
McManimon's Pub is a real pub but I have never been in there so all inside is mine!
Enjoy!
Tonight I am going to pretend. Tonight I am going to go in to the wonderful world of denial. Tonight I am going to get stinking drunk on green beer to forget everything.
Confused? Let me catch you up. I am Stephanie Plum and I work for my cousin as a bounty hunter, basically I try to get bad guys back to jail. I am not very good at it but I sure do try. Sometimes I roll in garbage and get covered in substances that are better left unsaid. I try, I did have a good capture rate but I still get dirty doing it.
I have two guys in my life. Joe Morelli, the Italian Stallion, and Carlos Manoso or Ranger. With Joe we had an on/off relationship. We kept breaking up and getting back together. We are currently on a forever off stage since I caught him with his mob ex-girlfriend three months ago. My mother kept harping on me to get back together with him but there is now way I will.
Ranger and I had a history during one of Joe and my off stage but then he sent me back to Joe. He has told me he doesn't do relationships and that he loves me in his own way. I really haven't seen him much since Joe and I broke up. I know he is in town, I see him every once in a while but I refuse to call him. I guess he likes me better when I am in a relationship; he applies pressure when I am with Joe but disappears when I am single.
I know that I don't love Joe anymore that fizzled out way before he cheated on me, so I was more upset than hurt over that whole situation. No one deserves to be cheated on. Grow some balls and break up with a person before you sleep with someone new. Ranger on the other hand had my whole heart. I was so in love with him that it hurt that he didn't want me. He says he doesn't do relationships so I was trying to move on.
This brings us back to tonight. It's St. Patrick's Day and I want to go out and have some fun even though I wasn't Irish. I can pretend for one night that I was. I wanted to have fun without worrying about what everyone thinks of me. My friends Mary Lou, Connie and Lula are coming with me. We were headed over to McManimon's Pub over on Liberty Street. I want to drink and forget everything. Lula was coming here to pick me up so I didn't have to worry about drinking and driving.I had on a strapless sweetheart dress that was in lime green that I had found on sale at Macy's. It wasn't a bright lime green. The back was open with criss crosses on the back and had rhinestones trim on the neckline and waist. The main part of the dress was thigh high but it had a sheer glittery overlay that almost hits the floor at points. It was beautiful. I paired it with silver strappy FMP's.
I did my hair and makeup and was ready right as Lula showed up. I was walking into the living room as a knock came at my door. I opened it and there stood Lula in the tightest looking dress I have ever seen. I was the brightest green I have ever seen, I am not even sure what it was called but it was no ordinary green.
"Hey, Lula, ready to have some fun?" I asked her as she came in the door. I went and grabbed my purse and coat as she responded.
"Damn girl, you look hot tonight. Expecting Batman?"
"Nope not tonight, tonight I am going to forget everyone and have some fun." I answered. Lula knows all about my problem with the men in my life.
We left my apartment after I locked it up and headed towards the bar. I hoped that Mary Lou and Connie will be there already.
"I talked to Connie on the way to your place and she is already there. She has a table saved for us already." Lula said.
"Wonderful! I am going to get my drink on. I wonder what other drinks there are that are green? I want to try something new." I asked Lula. "I don't know, maybe the bartender will give us tips." Lula answered.
We got to the bar and quickly found Connie and Mary Lou. We stopped by the bar and got a green Guinness beer. At the table we hugged hello and spent some time talking. My drink was empty so I decided to go find something more adventurous; I asked if anyone else needed anything and headed back to the bar.
The bartender was a cutie, way too young for me, but still a cutie. "Hey, can you help me?" I asked him.
"Anything for you, gorgeous!" I rolled my eyes at his flirting. "I want something green but don't know any green drinks but the beer. Can you recommend something?"
"I have just the thing. It's called a Lucky Tart. It has Sour Apple Pucker, tequila, melon liqueur and lime juice in it." He said. Wow! That sounded yummy.
"What kind of tequila do you use? I don't want any of that cheep stuff!"
"Don't worry, only the best for you!" He said with a wink. I smiled at him as he went about making my drink. When he handed it to me I tasted it. It was a little strong but it sure tasted good. I paid and thanked him and went back to the table.
Once back we kept talking. Mary Lou asked me what was going on with Ranger.
"I have no idea" I said. "He is only around me when I am with Joe. Now that I am not I haven't seen him. I love him but he doesn't feel the same way so I think it's time just to move on. I hope someday I will be able to get over him. I do miss him; he is my best male friend. It's different that being friends with you guys. He makes me feel safe and protected. But I need more." I said with a sigh.
They really didn't have anything to say about that and we just said their lost in our thoughts. The music had started up and we looked around at everyone out on the dance floor. I jumped up and looked at them and said "Come ON! Let's dance!"
I dragged them out to the dance floor where we all bumped and grinded against each other. We danced to "Cyclone" by Baby Bash. Soon we had the eyes of the guys in the place. A few of them came over and pulled Connie and Lula away from us. I giggled at Mary Lou; she sure didn't look like a 'burg mom right now! After a few songs we went back to our table to get more drinks.
We had order our drinks, I have convinced the girls to try my new one we also got some shots of straight tequila. We also ordered some appetizers to eat. It had been awhile since I had some food and I needed something in my belly to absorb all the alcohol.
When the drinks and food came, I took one of the shots, lime and salt and pushed Mary Lou back in her chair. I put the lime in her mouth and licked a path on her collar bone and sprinkled some salt. I looked up at her and grinned. She just shook her head at me. I took the shot, licked the salt off and got my lime from her mouth ended it in a kiss. As I sat up, I noticed that we had gotten quite a bit of attention from everyone. Gee it was just a shot, or maybe it was the girl on girl action that everyone was looking at. I shrugged my shoulders, I didn't care.
"Damn White Girl! I didn't know you had it in you!" Lula said.
"You should have seen her when she was in college, this was nothing." Mary Lou said. Connie and Lula dropped their jaws as they looked at me. "What! I was young and had fun! Maybe someday the stories will come out but not tonight!" I said with a smile.
I could tell they were going to ask but I was saved when someone approached the table. I looked up to see a very good looking guy. Not as good looking as Joe, Ranger or his Merry Men but close. He had bright blue eyes, light brown hair and pretty fair skin.
"Hi, I am Liam, would you like to dance with me?" he said looking at me. Oh my goodness he had the cutest Irish baroque I have ever heard. I jumped up from my seat and grabbed his hand pulling him onto the dance floor.
"Thank you for asking! You just saved me from tons of questions! My name is Stephanie or Steph."
"Very nice to meet you Steph, I am glad that I could help you." Liam smiled. "Are you from around here? I don't think I have seen you before?"
"I'm from the 'burg but don't come in here much. I just wanted a place to go out and have fun with the girls." I told him. We dance to a couple of slower songs as we talked. I was having a good time. It was nice that he was actually talking to me about things. I learned that he was an accountant with his own firm, divorced but no kids, he had 2 siblings and only his mom left. I told him a little about me, also. I was having a great time with him.
I told him I better get back to my friends but asked him to come ask me for another dance in a little bit. I walked back over to our table only to find that Lula was missing. I looked around and saw her out on the dance floor dancing with a handsome man. Thankfully there was still some of the nacho's we had ordered left so I sat down to eat some.
I waved over the waitress and ordered another drink along with some water. I was thirsty from all he dancing. Mary Lou and Connie asked me about Liam and I told them what I knew.
"He is a nice guy. I am glad I met him. I could actually ask him something without feeling like I am intruding in his life, like when I talk to Ranger." I told them. Man I wish it all didn't come back around to Ranger, but it did. I couldn't stop thinking about him; even when I am dancing with someone else. Well there goes my happy buzz. Trying to shake off my mood I tuned back into the conversation at the table. Mary Lou was talking about her boys.
"…and then we had to take him to the ER to get the pea out of his nose." Yeah so glad I didn't have kids.
A few drinks later we were out on the dance floor when Liam came over. I moved away dancing with him. It was a fast song bumping and grinding. I was in front of him with my back to his front and my arm around his neck, head on his shoulder. He had is arms around my waist and whispering in my ear. I was having a great time, laughing at what he was saying when I got that tingle at the back of my neck that I only get when Ranger is there.
I lifted my head and looked around. I knew he was there somewhere. I spotted him over by the bar and he was watching me with dark eyes. He made no move to come over so I wasn't going to worry about it. He can only take my fun away if I let him. I kept dancing to the end of the song with Liam. He asked if I wanted another drink and I agreed but had to run to the bathroom first. I told him I would meet him back at the table.
I found my way to the bathroom and did my business. I checked out my hair and makeup and everything looked pretty good still. I headed out into the hallway and ran into someone. Not someone…Ranger.
"Babe." Was all he said.
"Hey Ranger, what are you doing here? You don't seem the type to go out on St. Patrick's Day." I said.
"Babe." Wow one word once again.
"If you are just going to say one word, then I am going to go back to my friends. Bye Ranger" I said as I tried to get around him.
"Wait! Who is that guy you were dancing with?" he asked grabbing my arm to stop me. I looked at his hand on my arm and shook it off.
"What does it matter to you Ranger, you don't want me. At least someone does. I can't keep doing this with you. Your never around unless I am with someone. Joe has been gone for months and I don't see you, now I am out have fun with my friends and all of a sudden you remember that I am alive. Too bad, Ranger. I love you but I can't take this hot cold you have going on. Go home. I am fine." With that I walked away, leaving him in the hallway. I really didn't want to think about what I just said. I can't believe I said I loved him. Oh shoot me know. I may end up in a third world country yet.
"Where you been girl?" Lula asked as I came up to the table.
"I just ran into someone I knew by the bathroom. No big deal. Hey, thanks for the drink Liam." I said as I sat down trying to pick up the conversation around me. Don't think, don't think, don't think.
After our drinks Liam asked me to dance again and I did. I could feel that Ranger was still around but I tried not to pay any attention to him. When the dance was done we went back over to the table and the girls were ready to head out. Tell you the truth so was I. I was feeling the drinks but not drunk and hurting over Ranger. Time; that what I kept telling myself. It will take time to get over him.
I turned to say goodbye to Liam and he asked for my number. I had a great time with him and didn't see how it could hurt so I gave it to him. He gave me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek and we headed out.
"So did you see Batman in there? I was staring pretty hard in your direction. Are you okay?" Lula asked after we had said goodbye to Mary Lou and Connie and gotten in the car.
"Yeah, who do you think I was talking to by the bathroom? He wouldn't say anything but 'Babe' so I tried to walk away and then he wanted to know who I was with. I guess you could say that I told him off. I told him to go home and leave me alone along with a few other things. Don't worry about it I am fine." I said.
The drive to my apartment didn't take very long and soon I was home. I thanked Lula for the ride and for going out with me and headed up stairs.
Once I got to my apartment, I looked around just in case anyone, cough Ranger cough, was there. Thankfully the apartment was empty. I locked my door, not that it would do any good, and headed toward my bedroom. I took off my dress and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I didn't want to sleep with all the hair spray in my hair. After I quick shower I brushed my hair then my teeth and headed into my room for my pajama's. I stopped in my door way when I saw the mystery man himself sitting in my chair by the bed.
"What are you doing here Ranger?" I asked as I walked over to my dresser. I pulled out clothes and sat them on the bed.
"I don't know. I wanted to see you." He said as I started pulling my clothes on under my towel.
"I am tired. I just want to go to bed. You can leave any time. You have had plenty of time before to see me and you haven't, so now is not the time." I said crawling in to bed. He sat there unmoving, watching what I was doing.
"Babe."
"Ranger." Hey I could do one word sentences too!
Ranger sighed but didn't get up. I shook my head and turned off the light and rolled onto my side and tired to go to sleep. If he wasn't going to say anything then I wasn't going to stay way.
As I was almost asleep I heard Ranger get up. He came over to the side of my bed and sat down. I kept my eyes closed and didn't look at him.
"I am sorry that I have been so distant lately. I don't know what to do with you. I have tried to get you out of my head, and I can't. I love you too much." He whispered.
"You have a funny way of showing it." I said. "I don't know if I want the kind of love you have if that is the way it is."
"It's the only way I know. I love you with my whole heart. Nothing else seems to matter much to me except you. I am so scared that one of my enemies will come and find you and I would lose you completely. I don't want that to happen, which is why I have tried to stay away. I want to keep you safe even from me." He said.
I opened my eyes to look at him. He didn't have his blank face on and I could see the sadness in his eyes.
"So instead of talking to me about this, you just push me away? It doesn't make sense. The things you have said have hurt me. Your actions show that you care but your words push me away. Do you see why I am confused? I know I am not good with feelings and emotions but you make it even harder. I don't know who you really are, I only see what you allow me to see. I need more than that. I would trust you with my life and I have, but I don't think I would ever trust you with my heart. You alone have the power to break me."
"Did you mean what you said at the bar?" he asked. Do I stall? Ask him what he means? Or just admit to it? Hmm.
"When I said I loved you?" I ask. He nods his head. "Yes, I meant it. I love you and I am in love with you; but I know that you don't want to be in a relationship with me and I can't be friends with benefits. So I don't know where to go from here. I don't ever want to lose you though, you are my best friend. I need you in my life. Your enemies may be dangerous but so are mine." I hate this, I feel like my heart is breaking in two.
"I do love you, but I can't give you what you need." He says.
"What do I need, Ranger? Someone to love me? Someone to be there for me? What?" I ask as I sit up in bed and turn the light on obviously I won't be going to sleep anytime soon.
"Marriage, children. Those type of things, I am not sure I will ever want them." He said.
I started laughing. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. He looked at me like I was crazy.
"When have I ever asked you for those things? Do you ever listen to me? How many times have I said that I never want to get married again? How many times have I said that kids scare the crap out of me? I am not just saying them to be saying them. I don't want that. My marriage was a joke and a joke I never care to repeat. I can barley be in the same room with other peoples kids so why would I want some of my own. Marriage and kids are not what I want in a relationship. I am not 'burg. Those things are not on my list for what I want." I said. I was trying to keep calm and hopefully get this through his head. Why does no one ask me what I want, why do they all assume?
"What is it that you want in a relationship then?" He looked confused. Finally we are getting somewhere.
"I want someone to love me for me. Someone who won't try to change me. Someone who would be faithful to me, someone who would pick me up when I fail and help me try again. Someone who is going to be there for me to help me fly and not hold me back. I want a committed relationship where I know I am the only one that they are thinking of; the only one they love. Someone to take me out dancing, someone I can talk about my day to, someone who will talk to me back. It's all really simple really." Ranger already does all those things for me and I don't think he realizes it.
I got up and went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water while I let him process that. I was tired. I wanted to sleep but its best we get this out of the way. I was tired of avoiding him. Maybe we can work this out tonight and we can go on with our lives. I grab him a bottle to and head back into my room. He is still sitting there; I have no idea what he is thinking.
I hand him a bottle and get back into bed sitting up against my headboard.
"Thanks." I just nod my head to let him know that I heard him. I pat the bed next to me and he moves up to sit next to me.
"I am sorry, Babe. I didn't know. I know that I am not good at talking about feelings but I thought I knew what you needed. What you have said changes a lot of things for me. I thought that you wanted all that, I guess I should have expected that you would be different."
"What does it change Ranger? From where I am sitting it doesn't change a thing. You are scared by your enemies and your love for me, so I don't see how anything can change." I said.
"But it does change things. I can give you all that. I already do most of that. We could try, Steph." He said.
"Ranger, I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't know if I would be able to be with you. You don't talk to me, I don't know much about you. You are very closed off. I don't want anyone to change me and I don't expect you to change for anyone either. I don't know how this would work. I am sorry." I look over at him and I can see the sadness and hurt in his eyes. I feel a tear streak down my cheek. Before I can wipe it away Ranger reaches up and wipes it off.
"Please don't cry. I love you and you won't be changing me. I already trust you with my life; I want to let you into my heart too. Talking to you and telling you things will do that. It's not changing its accepting. You were right when you said you have enemies, but together we can deal with them. We are stronger together than we are apart. We would have to take a few measures to be safe but I think that it would be worth it." He said as he pulled me onto his lap. I wanted to give in, I wanted him to love me but I was afraid.
"I never want to lose you as a friend. I don't think I could handle that. I always want you in my life. I am afraid of that." I said smiling. He dropped is 200 watt smile on me and pulled me in for a kiss.
"I will always be there for you, even if we try this and it doesn't work. I will be there." He said so seriously I knew that I could trust him. I have no reason not to.
"Ranger…" I started but he interrupted me.
"Carlos, Babe. Call me Carlos."
"Carlos, I love you." I said looking into his eyes. Boy, it gets easier every time I say it.
"I love you, too" he said. I leaned in to kiss him and he pulled back slightly. I looked at him confused when he said:
"Babe, we're going to do this, and it's going to be good." Kissing me again. Now was my turn to pull back I looked at him and said:
"No, it's going to be great!"
Epilogue:
It has been just over a year since Carlos and I got together. We had our share of arguments; but they never lasted the night. I guess I just couldn't stay mad at him; plus we agreed never to go to bed angry.
Liam did call me but when I told him about Carlos he understood and wished me luck.
The girls and Merry Men couldn't believe that we got our head out of our asses and finally got together. They were happy for us.
After about 3 months, I ended up giving up my apartment and moving in with Carlos; both at RangeMan and the house he bought for us. The apartment and the house were kind of generic at first but we worked together to make them comfortable for both of us.
I quit my job at Vinnie's and now work solely at RangeMan; turns out my business degree is good for something. I handle all the general business calls, searches and supplies. Business calls were fun until they wanted to talk something technical then I would send them to Carlos. I had a knack for calming down even them most irate customer. I can't believe those men were so unorganized with supplies. They would go out and get what they need when needed; I set up an account and have the supplies shipped to us. If I get board sitting in the office, I just go out and help with a stakeout. I also still do distraction. I guess I was a jack of all trades in the building and I loved my new office adjacent to Carlos'. I even enjoy working out now. It took some getting used to but I couldn't imagine not doing it now. And, yes, I even carry my gun. I turned out to be quite a good shot actually!
The only thing that is a torn is my mother. She won't accept that Carlos and I don't want to get married and have kids. We are happy and content the way we are. She told me that I wasn't welcome there until I was married and not living in sin. That was over 6 months ago and I haven't been back. Grandma comes to see me when she can and I still give her rides when can. My dad just doesn't say much and stays out of all of it.
I see Joe every once in a while as I am out and about, but don't talk to him. I heard that he got married to a first grade teacher and have a child on the way. I am happy for him. I am glad that he found the one thing that he couldn't live without.
Carlos and I spend a lot of time with his family. They are wonderful to me and I love his mother dearly. She knows what has happened in the past with my mom and she can't believe that a mother would do that to their own daughter. Carlos loves that I get along with him mom so well, on many night you can find me sitting on the phone with her or even over at her house while Carlos works. She has taught me how to cook a few things, and I actually enjoy doing it. I think it comes down to who was the teacher; since my mother never was very encouraging.
We are getting set to go on a month long vacation next month and I can't wait. Carlos won't tell me all where we are going and is having Ella pack our bags. I can't wait.
I was right…it has been great!