With but one click of the record button, Sonic was 'live,' as it were – recording the latest 'vlog' he had done in months. Flashing his trademark smirk that he had practiced in the mirror every night, Sonic exclaimed, "Hey fast pals, it's Number1FastBoy here, bringing you the latest and greatest in cars! Vroom vroom!" He pumped his fist with each vroom, before realizing that worked more for trains than cars. Sighing, he shook his head and continued with the take, hoping he may get something out of it, resuming, "Now I know all you speedsters have been waaaaaaaiting for me to put out a new vid of a sick ride, but..." he paused.
"... But the truth is I don't know why I'm doing this. I'm tired, I haven't felt the same in awhile, and I just haven't felt up to making another one of these videos in a long time. And I'm sure that doesn't mean a lot to you if you're one of those kids commenting on my older videos asking why I haven't made a video in 'forever' – trust me, you'll understand when you're older." Resigning to the feeling, he clicked the record button to cease the recording, hanging his head low as he left his hand at that spot. His mind fixated on the last word he spoke, "Older... Since when did I get old? I'm still twenty-five, I've got... five years until I'm officially ancient, I'm fine right now..."
Sluggishly, the so-called 'fastest thing alive' walked off his approximation of a set and slumped on his couch, turning the TV on and finding it on the same channel it had been on for what felt like ages – an extremely right-wing news channel he'd have on to feel smarter than. They were going on about their latest manufactured controversy about one of the many woman politicians that provoked their ire by virtue of having the audacity to exist unapologetically in a world that would prefer she stay in a little house baking cookies for a husband that would lead their perfect little cisgender, heterosexual, patriarchal family.
Letting out a thick, tired sigh, the hedgehog said to himself, "Just let the lady live, Jerx News, gosh." No one else could hear him, but it felt like he was doing something. He didn't have to be making a difference in the world or directly impacting someone's life in a positive way – as long as he could feel above the people he looked down upon, he sure felt like a hero that wasn't wasting his life. He was right, he knew, and that was all that mattered to him. "How can they not see how wrong they are? How're they so oblivious of how disconnected they are from reality when the rest of us can all see that so clearly?" He asked no one at all, the fifth time in the past two days.
This was fine, he thought to himself. "I'm good," he assured himself, unconvincingly, "I'll always be more right than them and it'll be okay. I'll be good." His ear then twitched in a burst of hope as he heard a creak that almost sounded like a knock on his door, causing him to zip over to the door faster than you could tell him the following: there is no one at the door. No one is ever at your door. It's just going to be the same empty porch you see every day because you messed up and this time they didn't come looking for you after running away for the umpteenth time.
And so it was. Sonic once again performed the shock and disappointment of finding not one furry friend of his showing up at his door, dead-set on feeling confused as to how it could be, that he—Sonic the Hedgehog—has no one turning up. No fans, or admirers. No friends. Coldly, he chuckled, "I wonder why. After all the talking I did at the people on the TV, where's my thanks? Hah..." He felt a pang of guilt, wishing he could take that back but knowing full well he couldn't resist a quip that ever came to him—even one against himself.
Tightening his grip that had loosened as he went into his thoughts, he swung the door shut and went back to his couch. It was then that a thought hit him, "I wonder what Knux's been up to?" Curiously, the hedgehog reached for his phone, trying in vain to pick it up without moving before relenting and scooting over to reach it better, then checking his contacts. Yet again, he found it had been wiped long ago of any of his friends' numbers. "Okay, no biggie, I just gotta remember his number," he thought, sure of his ability to do just that, before proceeding to slowly realize it had been so long that he hadn't the slightest clue what on earth his echidna ally's number was.
Shortly thereafter, he recalled Knuckles deciding he would quit all usage of phones, as he was convinced they would 'give everyone cancer.' Sighing, Sonic thought, "He was a piece of work sometimes, but he would've come around if I gave him a chance... at least I hope he would've." He then searched his memories for what other friends he left behind, that he could try to reconnect with. There was Amy, he thought, before shuddering—although he found it odd that she of all people never came for him. "Maybe she finally got sick of me," Sonic wondered, "just like everyone else..." before his mind drifted elsewhere.
Next to him was one friend that had a permanent place in his heart – one even he couldn't get away from. He had given him a name, a group of friends, even a place to stay at times; and in return, he got the greatest ally and friend he ever had. In his life, no other could raise a smile on the hedgehog's face, but now he could only frown, "Not again..." Looking back at the two-tailed fox's blue eyes gazing back into his own green eyes, Sonic asked, "Why are you here? Wait, right, that's your question, my mistake."
"You know why I'm here – why are you here?" His friend asked, firmly. He had gotten good at that, when last they had spoken, just being firm and not letting anyone walk over him. He had to, Sonic knew, given how quick the rest of them were—regardless of how much they would deny it—to dismiss the fox. "Why aren't you with the rest of us, right now?" In spite of everything, Tails was always adamant on all of them staying together, regardless of the majority of the group's feelings about him.
Possibly, Sonic mused, the fox was holding on so tightly to the group as it was the closest thing to 'family' he had ever gotten to have. "It just isn't my style, Tails... You know I don't stay in one place for long, I'm always moving 'cause that's what I do," Sonic answered – the same answer he gave to both Tails and himself every day.
He tilted his head confusedly and gave the hedgehog a puzzled look, inquiring, "Why do you do it? Why don't you stay?" Sonic shut his eyes tightly, not being able to look the fox in the eyes any longer. Tails pressed on, "Is it because you're afraid? What are you afraid of?" The words reverberated in Sonic's head as all sound besides the sound of Tails's voice faded.
He felt a gloved hand on his shoulder, sighed, and spoke, through gritted-teeth, "... I'm afraid I'll mess up. I'm afraid if I let everyone get close to me they won't like me. I don't wanna be a disappointment. I wanna live up to the Sonic everyone thinks they know. It's getting harder every day, but this is easier. I know it's easier than what it'd do to me if I lost all of you because I'm not as cool as you thought or I'm not as funny as you thought... I'm afraid of being sad around you, Tails. I'm afraid of asking for help, of not being able to handle everything on my own. I've been so afraid for so long and I wanna be there with all of you but I can't be there and deal with that all the time. I don't know what else to do but run, Tails," he began to sob, "I don't know how to solve this. I don't even know where to start." Tears began to flow down Sonic's tired, shut eyes.
"Just give me one chance to know you, Sonic. I've earned a chance, haven't I?" Tails asked.
Sniffling, Sonic started, "It's not that you haven't earned it, Tails, it's just—" he opened his eyes and saw his own hand on his shoulder, alone again. "Not again... I can't keep doing this..." The tears did not cease as he got on his feet once again and went back to his door. He swung the door open and faced his small lonely world he made for himself once more. "I can't... I can't...!" He yelled from the gut before he ran out.
The earth below him thundered with each forceful step he took in his sprint, the silence fading into a sound of wind not unlike what one would hear from a car with the windows down. He sped by as a streak of blue, too fast for the naked eye but able to be felt as a strong gust of wind wherever he went. He knew where he wanted to be, but he didn't know where it was. He searched emerald hills and hill tops, sped across oceans and through towns and cities, looking fruitlessly for the one thing that would or could ever keep him going. Then, suddenly, he bumped into a familiar red echidna. "Ahhh!" Sonic let out as he slammed into the toned echidna's torso, before falling on his back quills. "Ugh..."
Being shoved a step or two back, for his part, the echidna exclaimed at the hedgehog down on the floor, "Sonic?! Where the heck have you been?" Sonic shook his head and, as his eyes focused, recognized the muscular red hunk of an echidna. "How long's it been since you last dropped by? It feels like it's been ages!"
"Knuckles!" Sonic yelled in relief at seeing the familiar face, hopping back up and giving the echidna a big hug. "Oh Knuckles, I can't tell you how glad I am to see you, it's been too long, too long—I haven't seen you in so long, it's been too long." His cheek was pressed against the echidna's pecs, which, if Sonic was honest, wasn't an unwelcome feeling. Still, he pulled away and looked Knuckles in his confused, purple eyes. "How've you been? Still off phones and all?"
Unable to stay upset at his old friend for long, Knuckles smiled, "Ah... I kinda have a phone now... I guess it's not a big deal after all," in his voice, Sonic could hear an echidna perhaps more mature and grown than the one he had known before, which intrigued him. "Things have been going pretty okay for me, anyway. I'm getting out more, I'm being more social, I'm out here picking up groceries with Amy—fun stuff. How about you?"
Grinning ear-to-ear, Sonic replied, "I'm good now, my man, I'm good now." He never knew he'd ever be so happy to see Knuckles, but here he was. "Listen, I'd love to hear all about what else happened since I took off, but..." Sonic's confidence faltered before he could ask the echidna where that twin-tailed reason to live he hadn't seen in ages was. Tried as he might, Sonic could not get the nerve to ask before Amy Rose stepped out of the grocery store. Part of the sapphire hedgehog braced himself to be tackled, but it never came.
Instead, the pink hedgehog smiled, "Oh, hey Sonic. What're you doing here?" It was a small relief to Sonic, but at the same time he felt very funny worrying someone would be the same as they once were, forever ago—and not funny in the good, likeable, 'I have to be like this all the time or else no one will like me anymore' way.
Collecting his thoughts and making his best effort not to delay any further, Sonic finally asked, "We can catch up later... Where's Tails?"
Stiffly, the two looked at one another, seemingly wondering whether it was or wasn't a good idea to let their old friend know. This did not inspire confidence in the fast fellow that was growing increasingly impatient to hear their answer, as he had hoped they would have gotten over their 'awkwardness' around the two-tailed fox by then only to find it unfortunately wasn't so.
"Fine," Sonic sighed disappointedly, "Can you tell me you have at least some idea of where he is? I mean c'mon, we spent so much time all together, you couldn't have just dumped him from the group as soon as I left..." As their heads bowed in shame, Sonic at last realized the extent to which they excluded the one he would do anything for. "... I guess you could have after all," he admitted to himself, "Well it was nice, seeing you two again, but I better get going now... I have a friend I've gotta catch up with."
Glancing one last time at the two, seeing the look on their faces that told him they were more sorry than perhaps he expected them to actually be, he left them. Before long, he realized he was back in Station Square. "Whoa... it sure has been awhile since I've been here," Sonic thought to himself, looking around and finding not a lot had changed since he last visited. He then heard a gust of wind that sounded just like a biplane like Tails would fly.
Then, all of a sudden, it clicked in his head. "That's right," Sonic exclaimed, "he has a place in the Mystic Ruins!" And so, quicker than the human eye, Sonic rushed to the train station like not one day had gone by since he had last been there – finding the train had not arrived yet. "Okay, that's an easy jog," Sonic smirked, before jumping onto the tracks he had ridden the train over so many times and dashing the entire way to the Mystic Ruins.
It wasn't long before the fatigue caught up to him, rapidly reminding him he was not in the same shape he once was as he reached the halfway point... to the halfway point. Pain came to his legs like a thousand daggers all stabbing at once, Part of him asked why he went off like he did, why he didn't just wait for the train to arrive, but that didn't last long. Having slowed almost to a halt, Sonic then pushed past the exhaustion and kept running, knowing very well why he ran and why he couldn't wait one moment to get there. "I've waited too long already," Sonic thought desperately as he did his best to control his breathing, his heart beating so fast it felt as if it would burst out of his chest, "I'm not wasting one more minute of my life without Tails back in it."
With that, he went faster by the moment, watching the world around him move backward until it was all a blur and he could only see what was immediately ahead of him. He blinked once and tripped off of the tracks, eyes half-lidded as he watched the earth rush into him until he at last met it.
His forehead stung, stained with dirt and grass. The smell of dirt intruded the hedgehog's nose, serving as a sort of encouragement for him to pick himself up and wipe his dirty nose—years of agonizing solitude propelling him upward. In forty minutes flat, he reached the first set of stairs and trudged along it. He could hear the train arrive at the ruins which caused the hedgehog to realize, upon reflection, that he could have used his spent-energy to bolt for the lab had he waited for the train. He gnashed his teeth as he reached the last step of the first set of stairs, groaning, "I have to quit rushing into these things... Geesh..."
Slowly, he made his way to the next set of stairs. The closer he got, the clearer he could hear the sound of someone tinkering about outside the lab, and the faster he could move. His determination increased, and the exhaustion he once felt seemed to disappear as any thoughts not centered around reuniting with his two-tailed companion fell out of his train of thought. When he could just barely see the tip of the fox's right ear, he could feel all the energy that had been dormant inside of himself for so long come alive, willing him to rush up the stairs... which resulted in him tripping on the very last step and falling right on his back.
It didn't matter, he thought. He was there. Finally, he was there for Tails.
To Be Continued