A/N : So this story is going to be about if Brendan left to go back to Ireland with Declan and it will hopefully be a long term fic except I'm so bad at saying that then never writing a second chapter :S (although I do have half of the second chapter written! yay! haha)

Also this is pretty out of character for Brendan anyways but hopefully you enjoy this and please read, review, follow, favourite the whole lot!

p.s. sorry this is a bit short!

'But what Steven?' Brendan asked. Looking up at Steven. Waiting for those words asking him to stay.

'What about Cheryl?' Steven asked.

'She's strong. She said she would be fine.' Brendan replied. 'Is that really what you wanted to say? Nothing else?'

'No...er just good luck with everything I guess.' Ste replied, shifting his weight between his two legs.

'Ok...' Brendan said, letting the moment between them fill with silence.

After a couple of moments, Brendan whispered something inaudible.

'What?' Ste said looking at him, eyes filled with hope.

'You could come...' Brendan stated, staring at the floor. Not wanting to look up and see Ste's face when he rejected him. Which he clearly would. He's with Douglas now. They're happy right?

'What?' Ste said, clearly shocked, yet a part of him had clearly been waiting for Brendan to say something along these lines.

'I can't...' Ste sighed. 'You know I can't.'

'Why?!' Brendan's immediate reaction shot out. Sighing he said in a lower voice 'I know...I just, I can't believe this could be it for us. This wasn't what I wanted, what I planned.' Brendan said frustrated.

'You can't plan these things Brendan.'

'I know. Come visit anytime eh?'

'Yeah...say goodbye to Declan for me yeh?'

'Sure.'

Another moment of silence fell among them as neither knew how to say goodbye. Is there a right or wrong way to say goodbye? Especially when they have both been through so much together?!

Ste broke the silence first as he extended a hand out to Brendan.

'I guess its goodbye then.' He said.

Brendan looked at Ste's hand for a second, hesitating before taking it and giving it a firm shake. 'Yeah I guess. Goodbye Steven.'

When their hands parted, Ste looked down as his hand, unsure what he was supposed to feel. Why was he upset? Why did it feel like a certain part of him had broken?

Brendan looked up at the one and only true love of his life and stared as his face trying to take a picture of it, capture this moment, possibly the last time he would see him. His duties of a dad would always overcome his feelings. And well, Steven was with Douglas now. It's not like he could have him anytime he wanted anyways.

Stepping back, Brendan waved a small goodbye and walked up the stairs to his apartment, trying desperately to hold back the slight hint of tears.

4 months later. December 20th 2012

Brendan stopped the car and sighed. Turning off the engine he put on his gloves, tied the scarf around his neck, put his hood up and stepped out of the car.

For once it was snowing around Christmas time in Hollyoaks. He looked around the village. It had been a while since he had been in Hollyoaks. After leaving to become a proper dad to Declan, he hadn't come back to visit once. True he was still a good brother and called to check in on Cheryl nearly every day but it just wasn't the same and since its nearly Christmas time, he wanted to spend some quality time with his sister.

Brendan's life had changed dramatically over the last 4 months. He had started another business, a nightclub/cafe/restaurant type place. He liked the diversity - people could come in for dinner, dance away the night and have some hungover breakfast in the morning. It worked.

He had also built back some bridges he had burnt with Declan. Declan had also steered back onto the right track and not saying he's a perfect kid but he's better. And as for Eileen, well she had a new man and Brendan at first protective, had grown to like him.

So much had changed in just a little over 4 months.

4 months, 16 weeks seemed like nothing but looking at the changes in Brendan's life, it was a lifetime.

Everything had changed so quickly. Some people called it rebound emotions, when you are so heartbroken about something, you throw all your energy into other things and pretend everything is alright.

But Brendan being the secretive man that he is, hid all those feelings away and tricked himself into believing that everything was alright. Everything was perfect. But maybe stepping back into Hollyoaks with all these old memories would bring up all the old emotions again?

Shrugging off that thought Brendan smiled and looked down at his gloves, the slightest hint of light reflecting off his finger as he adjusted the gold band fitted securely on his ring finger, a habit that had been with him for a month.

Please review, tell me what you think and if you want me to continue! :) x