Summary: OOC warning! Real OOC warning. I suck at summaries, but this is a really bad meresino porn ficlet. So, yeah, it's all badly written porn, enjoy.
A/N: Ok, this is a ficlet for the WTF Fanfiction contest (Worst Lube Most Implausible Sex Scene Contest). There's really not much more to say here. Thank you for reading and... well, I can't say enjoy, but I hope you at least laugh... a bit.
Blue, Ink and Afternoon
Oh, the Gallows were so dull and full of blood mages! She was so bored, by Andraste! When she was like that as a recruit, she searched for sex. But she was the Knight-Commander now, who would sleep with her? An idea seeped into her mind and soon, her vagina could no longer control itself. As she stalked out of her office and crossed the corridor, the blonde woman snarled to Elsa, ordering the Tranquil woman to send any visitors back home. She knocked on Orsino's office door, but did not wait for answer to kick the door open.
"You'll fuck me right now, at this moment!" she shouted.
"Oh, Knight-Commander Meredith?!" the tall elf said dreamily, swooning.
"Yes! Now, I'll take off my armour, while you hungrily watch my toned body!" the blonde woman growled, already working on the clasps of her gauntlets.
Suddenly, the grizzled elf was naked, all pale skin and long limbs. It took, however, much longer for the human woman to seductively strip herself of her armour, all while shaking her hips in a way that looked very uncomfortable. Once she finished her task, the First Enchanter in front of her was enthralled, the long erection of his standing out in its red skin against his pale hips. The Knight-Commander pushed the pointy eared man onto the bed that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, but it had, of course, always been there.
"Huff!" the green eyed elf breathed out, surprised by the abruptness of the movement, falling on the bed. "Oh, Meredith!" he then moaned, a bit out of breath since he'd been pushed so strongly.
The blonde woman eyed his control rod with awe and lust, sighing dreamily.
"Oh, Orsino, you have such a long staff!" the older woman exclaimed, clasping her hands together by the side of her head. "I will need help to fit it in my cave of love!"
"Don't you worry, Knight-Commander, we can use my desk's ink!" he said, producing a bottle of said ink out of, apparently, nowhere.
The woman straddled his hips, and sighed as her love button rubbed against the elf's thigh. Taking the ink bottle abruptly from his hands, she poured a large amount of the dark blue liquid on her hand, then enveloping the man's staff of violation with the same hand, so that she could lubricate it.
"Aaunnngh!" he moaned awkwardly, seemed too breathy, as if it were more nasal than vocal – probably due to his elven nose bridge.
The blue eyed woman got off so much with it, she felt herself nearing an orgasm. When she finished her work on the man's limb, she then proceeded to work on herself, quickly finishing it. Their hips were covered in blue paint, and it was so arousing! She rubbed her hands against the elven mage's thighs, feeling the delicious viscosity of the ink, because it was so deliciously erotic. The templar looked deeply into his emerald green eyes, and he knew what she was going to do.
"Aaaaingh!" he moaned loudly as she lowered herself onto him, an obscene sound that even Darktown heard.
As she lifted her body and lowered herself again, the strong woman felt an explosive orgasm rip through her body due to the collective action of the wonderfully viscous ink in her love mouth and that abnormally big flesh sword inside her.
"OOOORNGH!" she shouted, but it was not enough, so the human warrior started riding his weeping cock again, like a trained Orleisian monkey. The tall elf met her rhythm perfectly, and soon, she felt him clench beneath her, squirming like a gecko. She reached for his head, caressing the tip of his pointy ears, the soft and sensitive skin behind them, provoking uncontrollable waves of pleasure.
"Oh, oh, Meredith, OOOOONGH!" he moaned loudly, spilling his love milk inside her, probably coloured ink blue.
Although the tall elf was finished, she was not, and so she rolled off him, pulling his hair slightly. The human pointed south and he understood. As he licked her ink-slick intimate wet cavern, she felt a pleasure she had never known before. He started growling against her like a dog, then he whistled like a birdie in an early morn of Bloomingtide.
"GHAAAAAAA, ORSINO!" the blonde woman yelled, shaking her head violently at the intense pleasure that took hold of her whole body.
She pulled him by his shoulders with her strong hands, levelling his head with hers; his face all smeared of blue. The Knight-Commander kissed the elven man, whose tongue soon requested entrance into her mouth, it tasted of blue and was viscous. The warrior opened it gladly, and they explored each other's mouth with throaty – and nasal – sounds of pleasure. As they separated again, the mage looked deeply into her sapphire eyes that gleamed like ice under the sun, and said, with a soft voice.
"Chikubi chikubi uinkuuinku." he blinked his big malachite eyes, caressing her cheek.
"Oh, Orsino, I love you so, so much!" the blue eyed woman said, grinning. "I will now give up on my raids into Darktown in search of apostates and will never accuse the Circle of blood magic ever again!"
"Thank you, Meredith," the grizzled man said. "but I myself am I blood mage."
"It does not matter, Orsino, I love you!" the templar blurted out, blushing furiously.
The elven mage then kissed her like no one had ever kissed her before, still tasting of the ink, and the Knight-Commander never felt happier before, ever.
FIN