Standard issue disclaimer: I do not own Frank N. Furter, nor any other RHPS character that may make an appearance in this little saga. Nor am I appropriating any of them for my own profit…just my own amusement, and hopefully that of a reader or two…
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Frank N. Furter was confused.
The last thing he remembered was climbing the curtained backdrop in the ballroom, in a desperate attempt to escape from a certain laser-wielding handyman. Now, he had no idea where he was. All he could see was fog, more than a little reminiscent of the view outside the windows of the castle as it had passed through the clouds upon its descent into Denton.
The mists surrounding him were so thick he could barely see his own body. Funny…he could see it, still clad in the glittering bright red corset, but he couldn't feel it. He put out his hand and tried to touch his opposite shoulder, but his hand passed through his form as if there were nothing there at all. Suddenly, he understood.
He was dead.
Really and truly dead. Riff Raff, his seemingly "faithful handyman," had actually killed him. Frank couldn't believe it. How dare he! All right, even Frank had to admit he wasn't always the most benevolent of masters, but that was his prerogative. He was, after all, royalty – the Crown Prince, no less. It was his right to treat his servants however he saw fit, and it was their duty to take it. Everyone knows that! Unfortunately, apparently Riff Raff and his sister Magenta had neglected to pay attention to that particular page in the Servant's Guide to Working for Royalty.
As Frank stood there, fuming, the mists began to dissipate, and a room began to come into view. Not just any room, however…it was easily the most spectacular room he had ever seen, making even the Throne Room in the Royal Palace of Transsexual look ever-so-slightly shabby. There were marble walls and marble floors; beautiful area rugs and elegant furniture; artwork on the walls and statues on the tables. Best of all was the ceiling, depicting gorgeous nymphs and satyrs entwined in couples and in groups, disporting themselves in a most imaginative and erotic fashion.
Frank was engrossed in trying to figure out exactly how many participants were involved in one particularly interesting assemblage when he suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of someone clearing his throat. Startled, he looked over and saw a young man, clad in golden robes and looking at him with an amused expression on his handsome face.
Ah, perhaps things are looking up. However, before Frank could say a word, the young man spoke.
"Prince Frank N. Furter, I presume?"
Frank gave the young man his most charming smile. "Yes, that's right, although I prefer…er, preferred…to go by Dr. Frank N. Furter."
His companion nodded and wrote something in a notebook he held in his hand. "Duly noted. However, you were not scheduled to arrive for many years yet. What brings you here now?"
Frank rolled his eyes. "I had some assistance from my servant, Riff Raff…obviously not the kind of assistance I sought from him."
The young man flipped through several pages in the notebook, then nodded again. "Ah, yes, I see." He read in silence for a minute or two before looking back at Frank. "My name is Orestes. It is my job to greet you upon your arrival in the afterlife, and answer any questions you may have before your audience with Her Divine Goddess, Riana."
Without thinking, Frank murmured, "She actually exists…"
Orestes smiled at him. "I know you scientists frequently have trouble believing in the existence of a Supreme Being, but yes, She exists…as you will see firsthand very shortly. Are there any questions I can answer for you in the meantime?"
Frank felt a lead weight settling into the pit of his stomach. As he quickly looked back over the events of his life, he began to suspect his interview with that "Supreme Being" might not be particularly pleasant. In a somewhat nervous tone, he asked, "What does She intend to discuss with me?"
Orestes took another quick glance in his notebook. Choosing his words carefully, he replied, "She will review the way you lived your life…"
Oh, damn…
"…And present your alternatives for your afterlife."
Frank frowned. "My 'alternatives'? What does that mean?"
Orestes sighed. "I'm afraid that will have to come from Her directly. Please make yourself comfortable; She will join you shortly."
With that, Orestes walked out of the room, leaving Frank to his thoughts. He looked back up at the ceiling in an attempt to distract himself, but even the beautiful and graphic portrayals of some of his favorite activities failed to capture his attention.
Frank had never given any thought to the morality or fairness of his actions. He was taught from his earliest days that he was special; that he was important; that it was everyone's job to cater to him and fulfill his every desire. For the very first time, it occurred to him a benevolent Supreme Being might disagree with that assessment.
At least he hoped She were "benevolent." If not…he knew, beyond the shadow of any doubt, his days of being "catered to" were well and truly over…and that fact would undoubtedly be the least of his problems.
Oh, damn…