Elsa took a deep breath in, her eyes fluttering closed as the spring breeze washed over her, pushing short strands of blonde hair across her forehead. Feeling the warm air fill her lungs was wonderful. She opened her eyes and looked out across the fjord. The sun shone brightly against the sparkling blue water. Gulls flew overhead.

She looked down at the small pile of books she had carried with her. Most of them were either fairy tales or history picture-books, read so much that the covers were worn and ragged.

The upper balcony of the grand ballroom was one of her favorite places to read. The ballroom itself had always drawn her attention. With all the doors open, it was one of the brightest rooms in the entire castle. She could have stayed in her room to read, but she much preferred being outside and basking in the sunlight. Her mother and father seemed to think it was a good idea, too.

Elsa looked down as she lifted an empty hand. She rubbed her thumb against her forefingers idly. She could feel the magic, her magic, resting beneath the surface. It would only take the simplest of thoughts to let it free. As she flexed her fingers she looked up into the cloudless sky, a deep sapphire brightening to blinding azure at the horizon. She wondered what it would look like, for snow to fall in spring. How might the sunlight shine through the crystalline snowflakes as they floated ever downwards?

Magic must be kept secret.

The thought of her father's concerned voice settled Elsa back into to the present. She let her hand drop gently to her side. She had no issue with obeying her parent's reasonable request to keep her magic hidden from others. She was, after all, her father's daughter, princess of Arendelle, and heir to the throne. She had responsibilities.

And soon, she would be an older sister.

Elsa wondered then what it meant to be an older sister? How should she act? What was expected of her? She had tried to ask such questions to her parents and tutors, but neither party was as forthcoming as she would have liked. This lack of information concerned Elsa. Would she be prepared?

Still, she couldn't help but admit to feeling a spark of excitement, rising in her chest like a flame; lighting her up from the inside out. She was going to be an older sister . Would she get a baby brother, or a baby sister? She contemplated both possibilities, and settled her heart in hopes of a baby girl. The two of them would be much more alike, probably they would have tea together, study history together, read books together, hide bits of steamed broccoli under the dining hall's rug together. The castle's halls, as bustling as they sometimes were, got a little lonely sometimes, and it would certainly be nice to have someone closer to her own age.

A little sister. A little princess, just like her.

Elsa could hardly wait.

After a nearly month-long campaign to get him to talk, Elsa had finally managed to get her father to tell her more about her powers.

He had been in his study, looking up at the picture of himself on Coronation Day. He didn't usually stare up at it, which made Elsa feel like he was purposefully avoiding her gaze.

"Elsa," Her father started as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his waistcoat, "we've been on this line of inquiry before, and I've said you must wait until you're older."

"But I am older," Elsa replied with confidence, "by two weeks, and one day!"

Her father sighed and ran a hand through his short red hair, but Elsa noticed that he was smiling. She pressed further. "And I promise once you tell me, I'll stop asking."

He turned his head towards her, looking down at her as she stood with her hands behind her back. At first, she thought he might be cross, but his eyes had softened, and the smile remained. He bent down to one knee, and Elsa gasped and ran forward. Story time!

"You've had your powers since birth," he began, his voice was quiet and gentle and kind. Elsa might have felt relaxed if her heart weren't bursting at the chance to learn more about her mysterious powers. It took everything for her to keep quiet and not ask a million questions all at once.

"You were just a baby, the first time it happened," he paused, lifting his head and looking off into the distance, "You were hungry, and you had started to cry. Your mother saw you first, with a frozen tear upon your cheek," and at this, he reached down to poke a finger teasingly at Elsa's cheek. "Right here." Elsa's eyes lit up, and she laughed at the thought of magical tears.

"At first, your mother checked the windows. It had been such a cold start to winter, and she thought maybe there had been a draft in the nursery," he smiled to himself, "But then we saw it happen with our own eyes. Your tears were turning to ice."

"Really?" Elsa said in awe, unable to contain herself. With the way her father spoke, it was almost as if he was reading from a book of fairy tales.

"Really," he replied as one big hand squeezed her shoulder. "You've always been surprising us with that special part of you."

Special.

That's what her magic was. That's what she was. Her magic wasn't something to show off to strangers or share with the outside world. This special thing was something she shared with her mother and father, and them alone. She had to protect it.

"You don't have to worry, father," she said suddenly, straightening up as her expression went quite serious, "I'll keep my powers a secret."

Her father paused, looking slightly taken aback by her sudden change of tone, but in the next moment his smile was as big and warm as a flowerfield during summer.

"That's my Elsa," he replied warmly, and proudly, "You'll make a fine Queen, one day."

"Will my little sister have powers like me?"

"Sister?" Her mother was sitting in a chair in the nursery, knitting the tiniest pair of mittens.

"Oh, well, I thought she might be a girl." Elsa said matter-of-factly as she looked at the rise of her mother's stomach with an appraising glance. "Can you tell yet?"

Her mother smiled, seeming very near to laughing as she set down her knitting and rested one delicate hand upon her stomach. "Not just yet, but we'll know soon enough. Now, what was this about powers?"

"Well I thought, since I've had mine since birth, maybe…" Elsa paused, looking at her mother's belly, and then her train of thought shifted. "Can she… hear us?"

"Come here, Elsa," Her mother reached out for her, and Elsa hurried over to take her hand, looking up into her eyes.

"You're excited for the baby, aren't you? I know you'll be a wonderful older sister."

"On my honor," Elsa confirmed. The phrase had been something she had heard her father say in his more official capacity as King of Arendelle.

Her mother smiled deeply. "I love you, Elsa."

"I love you too," Elsa replied, feeling that familiar warmth in her chest as she leaned in to give her mother a hug.

It had been an unspoken rule between her and her parents that Elsa shouldn't do magic in front of her baby sister. Elsa hadn't really had the time to think about it, as there had been much to do after the birth, and she had been so curious about what having a sister would be like that the question of what to do about her magic never came up. It just wasn't something she had bothered worrying about.

As time passed, and to Elsa's slight dismay, she found that Anna was turning out to be not at all similar to herself. She noticed that on a few occasions she had caught herself almost doing magic in front of Anna, but she was quick to control it. Magic must be kept a secret, and besides, her magic wasn't meant for fun.

A thought had occurred to her then, as she climbed into the carriage that would soon set off to the royal Summer House. What was her magic for?

The question bothered her all throughout the trip, but she was thankful for Anna's explosive personality. Anna was having a blast, just playing with Elsa. Just Elsa. No magic required.

And of course, the first time it happened was on that very trip. Elsa had gone out into the flower field. The tall flowers rose almost to her shoulders, and there was a strong wind rising up from the south.

"Elsaaaa!"

Elsa stopped, raising her head and then turning in one flowing motion. Anna was running towards her; dolls in hand, with one of her small pigtails nearly undone. The dolls had been a gift from their parents last Christmas, and already they were nearly bursting at the seams. Elsa made a note to ask her mother about learning how to sew them once they returned to the castle.

"Wow, look at all the flowers," Anna exclaimed as she spun in a circle, as if to try looking at each and every one all at once.

Elsa's smile grew wider as she lifted a basket she had in her arms. "I'm picking some for mother. Want to help?"

Anna was more than ready to help. The two of them walked through the field, discussing what might make the best type of flower. They talked about Elsa's favorite flower, Alstroemeria. Anna tried a few times to pronounce it and then gave up. Then Elsa helped Anna decide what her favorite flower was. She looked up, and asked what the warmest flower was, and Elsa said that would probably be a sunflower.

Anna insisted that because she was a big girl, she should be the one to carry the flower basket. Elsa begrudgingly agreed. It was hard for her to say no to Anna sometimes. Elsa followed behind, smiling proudly as her little sister led the way. Anna took them deep into the flower field, singing and humming about sunflowers the entire way.

"If the basket is starting to get heavy I can carry it," Elsa offered, allowing only the slightest amount of concern to tinge her tone.

"I got it!" Anna replied cheerfully as she attempted to lift the basket higher with both her arms while turning to show Elsa that she did indeed "have it", but the sudden change of direction was too much, and she stumbled as she lost her balance.

Elsa rushed forward to catch her, but she couldn't quite break her sister's fall. Anna fell face first into the russet-colored dirt. Elsa bent down to help her up.

"Anna, you've got to be more careful," Elsa chided, and she felt in that moment an overflowing sense of protectiveness for her little sister. She squeezed Anna's shoulder as she helped her stand upright. "You're covered in dirt!"

Anna had been so surprised that she didn't react right away, and at first Elsa was afraid that she might start to cry, but then Anna's eyes went bright and she started to laugh. Her laughter was infectious, and soon Elsa couldn't help but join in. She was feeling giddy. It was so nice, to just laugh.

And then it happened.

It happened so quickly, and in such a small way, that Elsa didn't even realize what had happened at first. It was Anna's sudden hushed gasp that drew her attention, and when she followed her sister's wide-eyed gaze, she saw it. Wisps of sparkling snow and ice, fluttering lazily in the breeze. Elsa's heart sank.

"...Whoa…" Anna voice was low; in awe as she reached a small hand up to try to grab at the flurry as it drifted off into the distance. "Elsa… that was… "

"It's… I'm…" but Elsa didn't have the words. She hadn't prepared for this. She could feel her skin going hot with panic. What would Anna think of her, now?

"AMAZING!" Anna jumped forward, hugging Elsa around the middle. "You're the most magical sister ever!"

It was all so strange. The rushing, tumultuous feeling of guilt for having let her secret slip, sliding down to settle in the pit of her stomach, mixed with the airy lightheaded feeling of being praised, both feelings competing for Elsa's attention all at once.

That's when everything changed for Elsa. Changed for the better. The guilt and the shame and the stifling feeling of suppressing her powers melted away, and all that was left was Anna's voice; her laughter, and her smile. Elsa's question about what her powers were for had been answered, in the most unlikely way possible. Her magic was for fun . It was meant to be shared, and maybe even someday... with everyone, but as long as there was one person in her life who she could let in, that's all that mattered. That was all she needed.

As she got older, Anna became more and more enthralled by Elsa's magic. She always wanted to see more, and Elsa, having never thought much about it before, had an earnest interest in what her powers could do. What she could do.

The magic one is you, Anna.

Elsa thought the words, smiling to herself as she lay in bed, staring up at the high ceiling. She couldn't sleep again. She couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow, and the new trick she wanted to try. She had been practicing creating pillars of snow, and she was getting pretty good at controlling them. She wanted Anna to see. A pang of shame struck her as she realized how silly she was being. Did she really have to be such a showoff? She shook her head and pushed herself onto her side, facing the window.

The sky was awake. She watched as the deep reds and green trails of light mixed before the purple night's sky. It was beautiful, and it wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep.

After the accident , it was Elsa who had come up with the idea to lock herself within her room.

Anna had been asleep for almost two days by that point. The trolls had assured the king and queen of Anna's safety, and for all purposes she looked as if she was just having a peaceful sleep. Elsa had stood on the threshold to their room, refusing to go forward despite her parent's insistence. They said it would be okay, but how true could that be? As her small hand gripped the entranceway, her knuckles went white.

Elsa didn't trust herself to get any closer.

And so, that night, at the family table during dinner, facing the one empty seat, Elsa spoke of her plan.

"Keeping the gate closed won't be enough," the words left her lips and she felt her expression tightening. She tried not to let her face twist into something too close to despair. She knew that if she wanted her parents to listen to her, she would need to keep it together.

She pushed a piece of broccoli around on her plate, casting her gaze downwards. She was waiting for her parents to react. She must have caught both of them completely off guard, because her mother immediately went still, tensing up in a way that Elsa had never seen before, and her father nearly dropped his fork.

"Elsa," her father began, and despite the surprised raise of his brows, his voice was caring and warm, and very nearly pleading. Elsa didn't let him finish.

"It would be best if I stayed in my room."

Away from Anna.

The thought of it, the sudden realization of what she was planning to do, struck her like a slap.

"Elsa, that's not necessary," her mother's voice dripped with concern, and the sight of her worried look, and the way her hand rose fractionally, as if to put her hand over her mouth, only strengthened Elsa's resolve.

"I'll have less distractions, focusing on controlling my powers will be easier."

I won't hurt anyone.

Everything she said was so logical; so direct. Her parents both stared at her, and for the first time in her life they had nothing to say in response. This realization produced a sudden small smile. She hated herself for it even as she could feel her lips twitching upwards, but she could feel that the smile wasn't reaching her eyes.

"It's for the best," her words fell down and spread along the table like mist.

This is just what I deserve.

"Are you sure about this?" Her father asked, sitting up a little straighter.

Elsa nodded. Of course, in truth, in that moment she had been terrified, and she felt sick to her stomach having to lie to the people who loved her the most. But how could she tell them? How would they have been able to understand? And what power did they have, to help her? To stop her?

"If you're sure," Elsa heard her mother's words distantly as her own thoughts rose from the depths to cloud her head.

Elsa was very sure. The nightmares, the ones where she could feel her own magic striking Anna and sending her sliding across the icy ballroom, hadn't stopped. Waking up shivering, in a cold sweat tinged with an aura of freezing water vapor, all she had been able to do was cry. After the tears, she felt nothing, and then, as the sun rose, she had come up with a solution. Her father had thought to close the gates to protect her from others, but Elsa knew the truth that even he didn't yet realize. The gates had to be closed to protect other people from her .

Still, despite everything, she had hope. Hope for the future. A dream of what might be. She would work hard. She would learn to control her magic. Her curse . That's what the troll had called it, hadn't he? Her parents would be there for her. She wouldn't hurt Anna again. Things would get better. She would get better.