He had never really gone through the experience of being born as a child, but what he felt while gaining his consciousness felt very much the same, as well as Yazoo could imagine. In some bizarre way it was birth that they went through to get on earth. The first thing Yazoo did remember was intense pain, like he was being torn apart over and over again. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't scream for help, and neither could he reach out to anyone.
That exactly was the problem. He could feel his brothers' presence next to him, but he had no means of interacting with them. It felt like eternity in that painful state he was in, and at the same time he had his mind bombarded with abstract images and feelings of betrayal, revenge and... Mother. He couldn't understand who this 'Mother' was, but from the very start he knew she was important and she would be there for him.
She was somewhere out there, calling out to him, but he didn't understand her words or from what direction the cries came from. It was like he was floating in a womb made of the knowledge of a thousand years and a thousand lifetimes, every moment and soul slowly joining with his own awareness and then being ripped away. His brothers were close to him, in equal pain, and there was nothing he could do to help them. All they could do was endure the distress for as long as it was to last.
It was Kadaj who had been the first to heed Mother's call. No, this hadn't been Mother; it was someone younger, someone filled with hate and vengeance. It was he who awakened Yazoo and his brothers. Kadaj was the first to react, but Yazoo and Loz were quick to follow their brother's example and start moving towards her.
Suddenly the darkness and warmth of the blissful womb they were kept in didn't feel so safe after all. The hatred of the one before them had permeated into their seclusion and given them life and a free will.
Mother was calling, and they must follow.
For the first time, Yazoo managed to force his eyes open. There was a warm, green glow around him, and even though the atmosphere around him resembled more a liquid, he had no trouble inhaling. He would remember the very first lungful of air he breathed for the rest of his life.
At the same time it was pain and bliss. Pain from the warm glow of the substance infiltrating his body, but bliss for the first gasp of oxygen. He wouldn't be just an existence anymore; he would be a being with a mind of his own and actions to choose from.
He was moving forwards, not with his feet, but more like floating towards a bright light shining from the other side of this liquid-like bubble he was in. Yazoo reached in front of him as if to speed up his pace. Something was reaching back at him from above.
It was Mother. She was on the other side, waiting, if only he could just extend his arm a bit further… He yearned for her embrace and for the emptiness inside him to be filled. Yazoo wanted the pain to stop. He wasn't whole without her. They weren't whole without her.
Find her, and we will become one.
Who was that voice? Yazoo hesitated. It wasn't her, but rather the other one; the one who had awakened them. He remembered that feeling of betrayal and the person from whom it resonated. Still, he was trying to get a hold of the figure above him, offering a hand to pull him to safety.
Just an inch away…
No. Yazoo was frightened by the feelings of anger. He wouldn't—he couldn't—strain himself any further. He didn't want to have these feelings in the first place, so why should be forced to have them? Whatever had been the source that had given them their will, it had also given them hatred and pride. Hatred for everything that had happened to Mother, and pride for what they themselves were: her last remaining children. Her last act of vengeance on the planet.
Yazoo wanted back to the safety of the ignorance he had had. It was easier to not feel anything, and not to exist than go through this anger. His body, however, seemed not able to respond to his silent protests. He couldn't stop himself anymore. That… something on the other side had grabbed his arm and yanked.
Yazoo staggered before hitting the ground. He gasped. What had just happened? Where was he? The earth under his hands was cold and hard, and so felt the aura of his surroundings. No, this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted back into that oblivion. He didn't want to be on the other side.
His…body felt strange, like it wasn't his own, and having to deal with this physical world felt almost unbearable. Yazoo just lay on the ground, his head hidden behind long locks of silver hair. It hurt more than he had imagined to breathe. The air escaping his lips was visible in the cold air. He couldn't help it, but his body started shivering; he had nothing on him to fend from the chill. He tried getting up, but his arms and legs were so weak he was immediately sprawled back onto the ground.
"Help him up, please…"
Yazoo didn't recognize the voice, but he did know who it was. The presence was all too familiar. They had, after all, gone through this pain together. A pair of strong hands grabbed his arm and helped Yazoo to his feet. He still didn't have the strength to stand up on his own, so he had to cling onto the other body to keep his balance.
He looked up towards the origin of the voice. It was almost like looking at a mirror, with the only exception that this man had shorter hair than him. He was sitting, naked, on a boulder a few feet away, eyes piercing Yazoo's worn body. As much as Yazoo hated being in this state, he did feel relieved to know his brothers were here for him.
"Kadaj…" Yazoo breathed out in a hoarse voice.
Kadaj grinned and his jade eyes twinkled. He offered his hand in a gesture resembling very much what had grasped Yazoo into this realm in the first place. "Welcome, brother. We have work to do."
