A/N: Just a short little story inspired by Josh Groban's song 'Awake' (the lyrics are from that song). A warning though, it's slightly tragic - but can you blame me? We don't get anymore Moonlight for ages. sniff
p.s. I own nothing.
Mick laid with Beth in his arms in silence. Her slow breathing told him she was still asleep, and the pale light in the sky told him that the sun would be rising soon. He wished it wouldn't – he wished there was some way to stay with her like this forever. But when the sun rose he would have to leave. Leave her apartment, leave Los Angeles, leave his life…leave her.
"And I know that only time will tell me how we'll carry on without each other
So keep me awake for every moment
Give us more time to be this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today"
It hurt him too much to think of how Beth would feel when she woke up without him. She would find his letter, the one he was going to leave on the coffee table. That letter he wished with everything in him he didn't have to write….but wishing never changed things anyway. Mick held back tears as he thought of how hard it had been to put those words onto paper…
Dear Beth,
I guess you've already realized that I'm gone. I wish I had the courage to tell you in person, but I just couldn't. If I told you I was leaving, you would only ask me to stay – and I could never say no to you.
I don't want to go Beth. Oh God I don't want to go, I don't want to leave you. But I have to. I know there's a cure out there somewhere, a permanent cure, and I'm going to find it. I promise I'll come back to you, and when I do it will be as a human. You don't deserve this Beth – this monster that I am. I'm too broken for your love, no matter how many times you tell me it doesn't matter. I want to be whole for you.
So I'm going. By the time you wake up I don't know where I'll be. Maybe halfway around the world, maybe just in the next state…but I'll be gone. Please don't look for me, and please believe me when I say it tears me apart to leave you. I feel like a part of me is breaking into a million different pieces and there's no way I can fix it. But this could fix it Beth. The cure could fix everything. I don't want to find it for me, I want to find it for you – so I can finally give you everything you deserve. I love you Beth. I understand if you can't love me after this, or if you want to find someone else. Just know that everyday I'm gone I'll be loving you.
You always called me your guardian angel, but what I don't think you realize is that you're my angel. You've saved me Beth, in so many more ways than you could ever know.
I love you.
- Mick
Through the blinds, Mick could see a sliver of sunlight on the horizon. He knew he couldn't put it off anymore – he had to go now or he never would. But not yet, please not yet, he thought to himself. Just a few more moments. In silent desperation he held Beth more tightly to him, taking in every feature of her beautiful face and wanting so badly to hear her say she loved him one more time. But he couldn't, he knew he couldn't. A tear escaped and slid down his cheek. Mick didn't bother to brush it away as he kissed Beth lightly on the forehead.
"I love you," he whispered.
And then, as quietly as he could, Mick got out of bed and got dressed. As he turned to leave, he looked back at Beth once more. The woman he loved, so perfect and beautiful in every way… his angel. She had saved him, he knew, even though she deserved so much better. Mick allowed a few more tears to fall before he turned away. It was time to go. As he passed through the living room, he dropped the letter he'd written to her onto the glass table, wondering if she would wait for him.
"Please," he said so quietly that he could barely hear it himself.
As Mick walked out the door and shut it behind him, he felt his heart break. He had never really understood that feeling. People always talked about it, but he had never known what it meant. When Coraline betrayed him he had felt too much anger to be truly sad. But this was something different. He wanted desperately to turn around, to run back to Beth and pretend he had never thought of leaving. Yet he couldn't. Mick felt as though something inside of him was screaming, crying out in a pain so intense he wanted to fall to the ground.
No, he told himself, No. Do this for her. Do this because you love her.
Mick St. John did his best to collect himself, took a deep breath, and walked away.
A/N: I hope you liked it – please review! I've decided to make it longer than a oneshot so there's more on the way!