It didn't really cross Clint's mind until he was in a grocery store and saw the big bags of candy. Hell, he'd never been able to really participate when he was a kid. That's what happens when you jump from an abusive dad to an orphanage to a circus. Certain traditions just get lost. And with everything that had happened in the last year, well, he's pretty sure Phil isn't thinking about it either.
For a long time, he just stands there and stares at the bags of candy, framed by fake spiders webs and plastic pumpkins. It feels like the chocolate is mocking him in some way. Which is why it's all too satisfying when he grabs three bags of mixed goodies and throws them into his shopping cart before heading straight for the produce section. He's never been one for celebrating the holidays, mostly because he never had someone to celebrate with, but that doesn't mean he's going to let Darcy be deprived before she's even a year old.
"Clint, what is that?" Phil's confused voice carried in from the kitchen doorway as his boss stepped through, Darcy perched in his arms. She'd started sitting up a few weeks ago, probably in preparation for walking or crawling or some other kind of locomotion that's likely to give either man gray hairs. As a result, whenever anyone held her now, she had a strange way of sitting that made her look like she was perching rather than being held. Phil blamed Clint. So did everyone else who knew Darcy. Clint just grinned.
"What's what?" questioned Clint as he put more of their necessary groceries into the cabinets. The only things he hadn't figured out what to do with yet were the three big bags of candy, three green apples and the bag of caramel he'd bought to cover them with. Yeah, candy and sugar kinda looses its appeal when you're in the circus, but he can still handle caramel apples for some reason and he's not giving up his chance (read: excuse) to indulge himself.
Phil tapped the top bag of candy in the pile, raising an expectant eyebrow at Clint. Clint knew what that eyebrow meant. It meant he needed to explain himself. Clearly, Phil hadn't been keeping track of the date.
"It's candy, Phil," countered Clint, closing the last of the cupboards before coming around and holding his arms out to Darcy. She didn't hesitate to reach back, nearly climbing into his arms as Phil passed her over. Instead of taking up her perching position though, she settled against his chest and yawned. "Has she had a nap today?"
"I've been trying to get her to sleep for the last hour," replied Phil, shaking his head. "She's been resistant to even the notion today though."
Darcy babbled something incomprehensible and snuggled further into Clint's chest in response to her dad's statement. One of her hands extended out to Phil, little fingers making a familiar grasping motion. Clint hadn't been able to figure out why Darcy did that yet: forced him and Phil to stand in such close proximity. Maybe she could sense how much he wanted Phil, but was too much of a chicken to even try. Phil gave her his hand as he always did, letting her hold onto him and curl into Clint's chest all the same. Another yawn had her eyelids drooping, with her father looking on in amazement.
"I don't know how you do it," muttered Phil, shaking his head as Darcy finally drifted off to sleep. His hand released hers as he spoke, lowering it to rest at her side.
"No clue," admitted Clint with a soft smile, one of his arms coming up to keep Darcy balanced in place as he headed towards the stairs.
It only took a moment to lay Darcy down in her crib, though he took another just to watch her and ensure she wouldn't wake back up. When she didn't show any signs of stirring, he pulled a blanket over her, dropped a kiss to her forehead, and retreated as silently back out of the room as he would extracting himself from a tricky mission.
When he returned to the kitchen, Phil was staring at one of the green apples he'd picked up from the market like it was a foreign object. Clint couldn't help the slight smirk or tightening of his chest. Seriously, why did Phil have to be so...impressively badass and simultaneously adorable? Clint knew his boss was dangerous; he'd seen surveillance video of Phil taking out a group of men with a handful of pencils and a rubber band. It's perhaps one of the most frightening things he'd ever seen and he stared down one Natasha Romanoff to bring her into SHIELD, alive. And yet, here was that same badass man, standing in the kitchen they're temporarily sharing (until Phil decides he doesn't want Clint around anymore and kicks him out), staring at an apple like he didn't know what it was.
It was like a punch to the gut to know he didn't have a chance with Phil. "You know, that apple isn't gonna bite you."
"I've seen weirder," stated Phil simply, setting the fruit back on the counter. "Care to explain?"
"What, the apples?" asked Clint, wondering fully into the kitchen to look for some place to store the bags of candy until they could put them out.
"The apples, the caramel, the candy," confirmed Phil, opening a cabinet above the refrigerator and shifting some items aside to make room for the candy.
Clint scooped up the bags and caramel, setting all four items up on the shelf. "Halloween."
The confounded furrow on Phil's face made Clint want to kiss him more than usual. "Already?"
"Already," confirmed Clint, chuckling slightly. "I forgot until I was at the store." He paused then, weighing his next words carefully. "So, you think you want to take Darcy out trick or treating?"
Phil's confounded look faded to one of pure confusion. "Clint, she's 6 months old."
"And?" countered Clint, raising an eyebrow. "You have photos of yourself in a Halloween costume at one. You probably don't remember going out that night, but you still have the photos."
"And you want Darcy to have those photo's as well," concluded Phil with a shake of his head. A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips though, indicating he didn't think it was a terrible idea. "So, what, you want to dress Darcy up like a sunflower?"
"I was thinking cupid," replied Clint with a smirk. "She's already got the diaper, she just needs the bow and arrow."
Phil groaned, but there was a smile in his voice. "You would pick a character that involves a bow."
"It can have a suction cup on it!" argued Clint, grinning. He'd actually been thinking of a flower or a lion, but Cupid wasn't a bad idea either.
"You are not giving Darcy a bow," stated Phil firmly, still trying not to smile but failing miserably.
Clint pretended to sigh in exasperation; he had to agree though, it wasn't like she'd be able to hold a bow. "Fine then, what would you pick for her?"
Phil seemed to pause at that, his smile turning into a contemplative press of his lips. Clint always found it a little hard to concentrate when Phil did that. It made him want to crawl inside the man's head and see what he was thinking. "A bear."
It was enough to make Clint laugh, mainly because he knew exactly why his boss chose a bear. "You won't give her a bow, but you're willing to let her run around with a shield. Or were you thinking of a water pistol?"
"Neither," dismissed Phil, though Clint could see the red tint of a blush on Phil's neck. Right, sure he hadn't been. Everyone knew he had a teddy bear dressed like Bucky under his bed and another dressed like Captain America. It wasn't hard to figure out why he wanted to dress his daughter up like a bear.
"I call bull," stated Clint firmly. Shaking his head, he leaned against the kitchen counter and offered his boss a grin. "Look, why don't we take her to the costume store and let her pick?"
"Again, she's 6 months old," reminded Phil with a shake of his head. "I doubt she'll understand or care."
"She can point," dismissed Clint, giving Phil hopeful eyes. He wasn't sure why, but the idea of Darcy picking out her own Halloween costume was important to him. Well, the idea of them shopping for a Halloween costume together was. It was something he'd never done as a kid and he didn't want Darcy to miss out on it either. Phil was doing a better job of hiding the pain of losing his wife, but it still wasn't completely gone and Clint knew it. He'd seen how the pain could make Phil forgetful of some simple things too, like the importance of a kid's first Halloween. And this was something Clint needed to do with Darcy, for Phil's sake as much as Darcy's. "C'mon Phil, it'll be fun."
"Fine," huffs Phil softly, shaking his head a bit as he moves around the kitchen and begins brewing some coffee. "Tomorrow, we'll go get Darcy a costume."
The mobs of parents and screaming kids were almost overwhelming. Clint could feel his skin crawling and it was only the presence of Darcy and Phil behind him that kept him from bolting. He was doing this for her and Phil, he had to remember that. Though he had to admit, he hadn't thought the costume store would be this crowded.
There were people everywhere, particularly surrounding a list of available costumes for children and teens. The wall lists everything from vampires to Go-go girls and, really, it's just kind of disturbing. Halloween was big and he knew that, but he hadn't really realized how big until this moment. Well, there was no turning back now.
"You see the infant costumes?" asked Clint as he glanced back at Phil, raising his voice to be heard over the ruckus from the surrounding children. His boss nodded, pointing to a empty portion of the wall where rows of photos of various infant costumes were posted.
Both men half bolted for the open portion of the floor. It didn't reduce the noise, but at least there weren't pressing crowds either. Almost as soon as they were by the wall, Darcy reached out for Clint with a small whine. Immediately, he reached back to take her, but her other hand dug into Phil's shirt, stopping Clint from removing her from her father's grasp. Clint immediately released her back into Phil's arms and took her grasping hand.
Turning to look up at the wall, Clint let out a low whistle. "Wow, that's a lot of costumes." Seriously, there had to be thirty different costumes- everything from bumble bees to witches and lions.
"I wonder if there's a wardrobe costume," muttered Phil, shifting Darcy around a little so she could reach Clint easier.
"A what?" asked Clint, stepping closer to the pair as Darcy tugged at his hand. His shoulder bumped Phil's as he moved up directly beside the man at Darcy's prompting. Neither his boss or the little girl he was holding seemed to noticed though.
"A wardrobe," repeated Phil, eye sweeping rapidly over the costume list as Darcy's head turned rapidly from the crowds to the Clint to the wall in front of them. "It's a book."
"Oh," replied Clint sheepishly, glancing down at Darcy. The little girl blinked up at him, provoking a grin to break across his face. Pointing at the wall, he tilted his head a little as he looked at the little girl. "What do you think Darce? See a costume you like?"
She just blinked blankly back at him for a moment before shoving his hand into her mouth. Well, that's wasn't really a helpful response. Then again, Clint hadn't been expecting much more, either.
Phil chuckled a little, drawing Clint's attention up to his boss. Following his friend's gaze, he spotted what had Phil chuckling. There was a secret agent costume among all of them. It featured a fake tuxedo and little black shoes, mainly mimicking spies like James Bond. It was adorable, but there was no way he was dressing Darcy in that. Not if he could convince Phil otherwise.
"No way, Phil," stated Clint, shaking his head a bit. "That's way to..."
"Obvious?" suggested Phil, with a chuckle. Clint just nodded. "Don't worry, I'm not. I thought maybe we could do something a bit more common, like a lamb."
"What about a princess?" suggested Clint, pointing to an princess costume listed between a cow and a butterfly. "It's cute and you could dress up as a king."
One of Phil's eyebrows cocked slightly, his eyes meeting Clint's with surprise. "You want me to dress up with Darcy?"
"Maybe?" suggested Clint, shrugging a bit and keeping his focus firmly on the wall in front of them in an attempt to avoid showing Coulson his blush. "It sounded like it could be fun. I mean, it's like...a family costume that way."
Phil hummed a little and then fell silent. It actually made Clint a little uneasy. Had he overstepped his boundaries? There had to still be some; it wasn't like he was Darcy's actual family after all. Was suggestion Phil and Darcy dress up in matching costumes too much?
"Do they have adult male owl costumes?" asked Phil suddenly, drawing Clint's attention back to his boss.
He blinked at him for a moment before glancing over at where the adult costumes were listed. All of the costumes were blocked below a certain point, but Clint could see a picture of a man in an owl costume near the top. "Yeah, I see one, why?"
"Because they have a owl costume for Darcy," explained Phil, pointing to a costume near the middle of the wall. "I thought we could go as a family of owls."
Owls, that was a good idea. A family of owls was cute and it was about as non-violet as they would be able to find for Halloween. The idea of Darcy and Phil in matching owl costumes was adorable. "That sounds good."
"Good," stated Phil, dislodging Darcy from his arms and passing her to Clint. "I'll see about getting the adult costumes. What size are you?"
"Huh?" asked Clint, startled by the question. His arms wrapped around Darcy automatically as Phil passed her over, drawing her against his chest. She made an unhappy noise about being displaced from her father's arms, though her little hands burrowed their way into Clint's shirt almost immediately, clinging to him like a monkey.
"What costume size are you," repeated Phil, looking at Clint patiently. "I can't grab a costume for you, too, unless you give me your size. Well, I could guess, but I'd rather just get it right initially."
"Um, medium I think," replied Clint, still blinking at his friend. "But, wait, why do I need a costume?"
"We can't go out as a family of owls if you don't have one too," pointed out Phil simply, turning away towards the crowds. "It would look funny." Phil then disappeared into the crowd before Clint could ask anything further, leaving him standing in front of the toddle costumes with Darcy in his arms, completely confused.
"Are you sure about this, Phil?" asked Clint for what felt like the billionth time that day. He was clothed from shoulder to toe in an owl costume identical to Phil's. A brush with face paint tinting the end hung in one of his hands as he carefully turned Phil's head with the other. One good thing about being in the circus: he knew how to do make-up like a pro.
"Sure about what?" asked Phil, allowing Clint to turn his head. "You said yourself the face paint was necessary."
"I meant about having me come out with you," explained Clint, carefully drawing one last mark against Phil's forehead before stepping back to admire his handiwork. The lines and sweeps across his boss' face formed a decent facsimile of the type an owl might display. It was about as good as Clint could do. He didn't even bother trying to paint Darcy's face; there was no way she'd hold still long enough for him to even begin.
"Yes, I'm sure," stated Phil, glancing up at Clint with a look that clearly said he thought the man was crazy. "You've been helping take care of Darcy since she was a few days old, Clint. You deserve to be there almost more than anyone."
"Alright," agreed Clint slowly, picking up the face paint and turning to the mirror. "Um, I've gotta do my paint now. Do you want me to get Darce in her costume first?"
"I'm capable of dressing Darcy in a Halloween costume," assured Phil. He looked irritated but his voice was amused, belying his attempted irritation. "We should go early. They run out of the best candy otherwise."
Clint couldn't help the way he grinned a little wider at that. "Wow. Look at you, a candy connoisseur."
"It's logic, Clint," stated Phil, sighing a bit in irritation as he stood from the bed. A bed Clint would like to use for things other than sleeping. Seeing Phil sit on his bed shouldn't make Clint turn into a horny teenager, but it did all the same. "I'm going to get Darcy changed and ready. Hopefully you'll be finished by then."
Nodding and focusing on the mirror on Phil's wall, Clint watched as Phil exited the room before focusing on his reflection. The face paint was some of the easiest he'd ever done; it wouldn't take longer than ten minutes to finish it and he could almost guarantee it would take longer than that just to wake Darcy; most of the time she was one of the heaviest sleeping babies Clint had ever met.
When the bedroom door clicked shut half a second later as Phil walked by, Clint wouldn't deny he was relieved. Part of him couldn't understand in his wildest years why Coulson wanted him along. Okay, yes, he'd been helping take care of Darcy longer than anyone else. And okay, yes, he was the person who would legally get Darcy if anything happened to Phil (Phil had shown him the papers- apparently he'd rather Darcy stay with him than go anywhere else). But that didn't make him family, did it?
Putting down the paint brush, Clint looked over his make-up one last time before cleaning up the mess and heading in search of Darcy and Phil. Sure enough, he found them a minute in Darcy's room, putting the hood up on her costume. Well, Phil was trying to put up the hood. Darcy was doing her best to drive her father crazy by pulling it back down again amidst happy giggles.
"Let her leave it down, Phil," stated Clint with a laugh. "You know you won't win and it's not so cold she needs it."
Grunting in defeat, Phil let Darcy keep her hood down. Which was precisely the point when she decided to try to pull the hood up. Clint almost fell over laughing between the look on Darcy's face and the look on Phil's. The clear look of disgruntled defeat wasn't one Clint saw on his boss' face often.
Picking up the mischievous 6 month old, Clint cradled her against his shoulder while patting Phil's. "C'mon Phil, lets get your daughter some candy."
"At times like this I'd swear she's more your daughter," muttered Phil as he headed for the door.
Clint, however, found himself momentarily frozen in place. The idea that Phil could even consider Darcy as being more Clint's daughter than his own was flooring. Obviously, Phil was just frustrated, but for the man to even admit out loud he'd thought it...
A little hand landing against his cheek reminded Clint there was a child in his arms expecting a chance to get candy (or maybe she was just trying to smear his face make-up because she could). Grinning at Darcy (and lamenting the fact that his hard work wouldn't last more than ten minutes), Clint headed for the door to the room. "C'mon Darce, let's get you some candy."
The photo in Darcy's album that year clearly displayed three owls, one without her hood and two who's faces were covered in smeared face paint, complete with with infant hand prints.