Demeter's Story

Demeter's Story
Chapter One: The Scars of the Past

The wind ruffled her velvety soft black and golden coat and Demeter shivered slightly in the mid-autumn air. She inhaled the air thick with a pale violet mist. The world she lived in was not a strange place, but it had an exotic beauty that night. The dim light from the streetlamps was stretched in a million innumerable directions, creating giant spheres of light around the streetlamp itself, and giving everything nearby a pale orangey hue.

It seemed so long since Demeter had been at peace inside, and really relaxed. She had to put up a comfortable, at ease facade when she was around the tribe members. She had to pretend she didn't care about what happened to her before.

No one suspected a thing. They would tease her, and she would pretend it didn't hurt her deep down inside. She pretended she would never cry about it, but more often than not, she ended the day by crying herself to sleep, alone in the darkness of the still junkyard. It was exactly what she had expected to be doing that night.

But that night, there was something different in the air. She could sense it, but not quite tell what it was. It was... almost as if she had come close to forgetting her past. But there was no way she could block it out forever. Even if she kept it from flowing back into her consciousness for one evening, it would taunt her again the next day.

The memories would come flooding back, as they did at one point or another every evening, as soon as she tried to sleep. It alway seemed as though sleep would never come. Sometimes it didn't, and she lay, tired and sobbing softly to herself, from midnight till dawn the next day.

Like sleep, the comfort she longed for almost never came. No one knew or cared that she cried herself to sleep because they made her remember. No one cared about what she had been through, nor did they want to. One less thing on their consciences. They didn't care and they never would, never could. It was something Demeter had long grown to accept as reality. Nor would it ever change. Things in the Junkyard seldom did.

And so her mind would not change either. She couldn't let go of the past. She couldn't move on. There were wounds that refused to heal. They remained too deep, scar tissue, blocking her from normal, Jellicle life.

Demeter's thoughts continued to wander, for the first time in almost a year not remaining on what had happened long ago. Her mind was well on the way to healing, but it was still a painful thing to remember.

Basking in the soft moonlight, Demeter tried to think of other things. She let her deep green eyes absorb the light of the moon for a while that seemed only a few seconds but was in reality much longer. Someone was nearby. She sensed their presence long before they came forward.

"Munku..." she murmured, and the presence stopped moving, telling her silently that it was him approaching. She blinked, and kept her eyes closed for a minute, to hold back her memories. As he came near, she wondered if she was ready for a new relationship, if she would ever be ready.

Munku gently touched her arm. "You can't hide the way you feel forever, Demi," he told her. Even though she knew he couldn't see her face in the darkness, she turned away. He tried to embrace her, but she placed her paw on his chest; a silent gesture of 'I'm not ready.' Munku obeyed her gesture, and came no closer.

"I... can't," Demi said softly. "There isn't a way I can heal the wounds of my past." She sighed, and laced her fingers in the thick fur of his chest. "I wish I could move on, but I can't. I just can't..." Munku caressed her arm, lovingly.

"I understand, and I want to help you move on in any way that I can," he whispered to her, and she could sense that his words were true, but her feelings scared her. She didn't want it to happen again... and although she thoroughly trusted the silver tabby, she still wasn't ready to try and love again. The scars of abuse, though faded and hidden beneath her fur, were still having a tremendous impact on her emotions, and she could not forget them.

She did understand that Munku only wanted to help her, and that he cared about her very much, much more than anyone else she had ever known. If she could let go of the past, she could love him back, but letting go seemed so hard. The events of the past haunted her, day and night, and she couldn't force them away.

"No," she said after a while, "You don't understand. You can't understand. You never will understand." Even she had no idea why she had suddenly rounded on Munku. She pulled away from him, and turned away.

"What don't I understand?" demanded Munku. "You won't tell me what happened to you, except that Macavity hurt you, which we could all see anyway." Demi shook her head sadly.

"There's much more than that... something no one bothered to ask me about," she sighed, deciding whether she was ready to even tell anyone. She turned slowly to face him again. "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it." Her eyes glistened in the dim light, and they welled with tears as she allowed her memories to flood into her mind.

"What?" asked Munku, his voice soothing and comforting. "What is it?" His face showed his concern, and Demi let him take her in his arms as the tears of pain flowed from her eyes.

"You only asked... if he... he hurt me," Demi murmured. "He did more than just hurt me. He...he..." Demi paused, sobbing. She couldn't hold back her emotions any longer. She didn't care if Munku thought she was foolish for being so upset about it. "He... made me..."

Munku held her close, knowing she needed comfort. "Oh, Demi..." he said, "He raped you, didn't he?" Demi nodded almost imperceptibly, then pushed him away.

"I don't want your pity," she insisted, trying to hold back her tears. "Keep your distance. If anyone finds out, they won't want me to be a part of the tribe any longer. I am unclean." Her eyes shone with sadness, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Demi, they won't reject you... he did it, not you," Munku responded. "You did nothing wrong. He is the one at fault, not you." Demi shook her head, and another tear rolled down her cheek.

"I had to have done something," she cried. She sobbed, and sat down miserably on the damp ground of the Junkyard. Munku kneeled beside her, and put his paw on her shoulder. She shook him off, and sniffled sadly.

Munku didn't know what to do about Demi. He wished he could comfort and reassure her, but he didn't want her to hate him for it. He decided to see if her sister knew how to help, and silently left to locate the red and black queen known as Bombalurina.

"Bomba?-" he whispered into her usual hiding place, testing to see if she was still awake. He didn't figure she would be, but thought it only polite to find out first.

Bomba answered, to his surprise. "What?" She appeared in the doorway of the old oven. She looked as though she hadn't slept at all for a few days. When she saw who had come, she asked, "What do you want, oh high and mighty one?"

Munku rolled his eyes at the comment. "I came to talk to you about Demi," he explained. Bomba snorted, and he knew she was going to say something sarcastic.

"What? Did you come to ask me if you can marry her? If you can get it through her head that you love her, then be my guest," she responded with a silly grin. Bomba knew he meant something serious, but she always found something silly to say.

"No," Munku hissed. Bomba could tell he was really serious. "Did she ever tell you what happened to her when Macavity kidnapped her?" Bomba shrugged.

"She said he beat on her and yelled at her, but she left it at that," she replied. She yawned, and stretched her slender, although strong, shoulders.

Munku decided to be blunt. "Demi was raped." he told her. Bomba's eyes widened in surprise, and she couldn't find anything to say. As much as she thought, she couldn't find anything to say. Why hadn't Demi told her?

"Macavity.... raped her?" she asked, disbelief evident on her voice. "Why in Bastet's name didn't she tell anyone?"

"She was afraid if she told someone, the whole tribe would learn of it and make fun of her or cast her out," he replied. "I don't know how I can make her see that it isn't her fault that he did that to her. I wish I could help, but I can't seem to get through to her."

Bomba shrugged. "How should I know how to get through to her? She rarely tells me anything any more," she said, saddened slightly that she couldn't help her sister. "I wish I could help you out, but I can't. I didn't even know what happened to her, and I think she's mad at me. Macavity did that to her to get back at me for leaving him, I know it."

"Don't you start blaming yourself too," Munku warned. "Poor Demi's already blaming herself for what happened to her. She doesn't need you blaming yourself." Bomba nodded, and shook the thoughts from her mind. She needed to help Demi, not feel sorry for what happened.

Bomba looked up determinedly. "Where is she? I need to help her get past this," she said, her voice as determined as her expression.

"Follow me," Munku instructed, and the set off to locate Demeter again. They found her in the same spot, and she was still sobbing quietly. She looked incredibly vulnerable and hurt, sitting all alone under the street lamps. Bomba approached her sister, but Munku stayed in the shadows.

"Demi," she asked softly, "Why didn't you tell me that Macavity raped you?" Demi wheeled around, her face wild with anger.

"He told you, didn't he? I don't want everyone to know! I don't want to be pitied! Go away! And if he's here, tell him to leave me alone!" she screamed. She drew in a ragged breath and turned away from her sister.

"I would have found out eventually," Bomba insisted. "And its better that I know." She put her paw on Demi's shoulder. Her sister was trembling.

"And you don't hate me?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. "And he doesn't hate me?" Almost immediately after she said it, she began, "How can you not? After what happened? It doesn't seem right that you can even trust me..."

"You're my sister," Bomba said, "I will always trust and love you." Her words seemed hard to believe to Demeter. Her sister had always been protective, seemingly too protective of her at times, but had still allowed Macavity to be near her, even though she knew he was dangerous. Bomba had turned her back for little more than a minute, only to find that the Mystery Cat had kidnapped her sister.

Demi's vision blurred, and she closed her eyes. She felt another presence. "Don't bother keeping your distance, Munku," she spoke, mysteriously. "I know you're here." She paused, taking a deep breath. "I know you told her about what happened to me, and although I wish you hadn't, I'd rather just describe what happened once than twice."

Munku obeyed her command, and came forward from the shadows, wondering in the back of his mind how she had known he was there. Demi remained silent for quite a long time, and then began to describe what Macavity had done to her.

He picked me up, and slung me over his shoulder. I didn't cry out, because I thought it was only a game. I realized it was not when we got out of the Junkyard, and continued just as swiftly. The I started screaming and crying, but no one cared enough to come and help me.

We arrived at a warehouse sort of thing, and he took me inside. My paws were shackled to the floor of a room, and I was left alone there for at least an hour, in the cold darkness. The door creaked open and he came in. He slapped my face, and said it was my fault Bomba didn't want a serious relationship with him. He kicked me in the stomach, and laughed when I cried.

He ran his paws all over me, covering me with scratches that oozed blood. He enjoyed seeing me in pain. Seeing me suffer. And then... then... he... he forced himself on me...

I must have passed out, but I woke up that night in an alleyway, lost and alone in the dark. I found my way home by morning, thank Bastet. I never told anyone. I was too ashamed that I'd let him get me out of the Junkyard in the first place, and then about what he'd done...

At that point, she could go no further, and her sadness and anger consumed her. Tears flooded her eyes, and she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Demi, we didn't know what happened to you... No one heard you calling for help... He'd gotten to far... We were all worried about you..." Bomba explained soothingly. She knelt down next to her sister, and tried to hug her.

Demi almost threw her sister off of her. "Stay away from me!" she rounded on her sister. "I'm not fit to be a member of this tribe! I'm no longer pure!"

"Demi? How can you say that?!" cried Bomba. "You belong here, with the Jellicles, with me, and with Munku!" Demi hissed, but it was a mixture of a hiss and a sob.

"Jellicles should remain pure... they should only mate with someone they intend to stay with forever... I have lost that..." she sobbed. Her body shook with emotion, and she could hardly breathe because of how hard she was sobbing. Her eyes began to hurt from the tears. "How can I stay here when I will never fit in? When the kittens will taunt me because Macavity used me as a whore?!"

"Demi...I will protect you from them, and any of them who tries to taunt you will get a good talking to about it," Munku promised.

"You want to protect me because you pity me," Demi spat. "I don't want your pity! I want someone who understands what I've been through, and what I'll go through! And that, neither of you can provide." She lay down, with her head buried in her paws, curled into a ball.

"Demi," Munku protested. "I don't pity you, I want to be there for you! Don't turn me away! I want to understand what you've been through and how to help you! I want to protect you because I love you!"

"You can't help me!" Demi cried. "The damage has been done, and it's irreparable." She sat up, tears still streaming down her face. Her emerald green eyes were filled with hatred and pain. A sudden gust of wind blew her bangs out of her eyes momentarily, and she closed her eyes, almost as if to shut out her emotions.

"I may not be able to repair the damage, but let me at least try," Munku asked. "That's all I'm asking of you, Demi."

She turned to him, debating whether or not to give love another chance. Munku held out his paw to her, and hesitatingly, she took it, and allowed him to pull her close. Neither of them noticed Bombalurina sneak away.