My Most Trusted Guard Dog,

While I am completely aware of your situation, being the head of the Phatomhives, I neglect to inform you that in Britain's eyes, you are still a child, and all children must go to school. I have generously paid for admission into a school abroad in Japan, Ouran Academy. I will also have the head of the Trancy family, my spider, attend school with you as well. I will have Scotland Yard take care of any situations that may take place while you are away, so you needn't worry.

Sincerely,

Her Majesty, Queen of England

Ciel frowned at the letter. School? Japan? Trancy?! Why must Ciel Phantomhive go through with all of this? There was another piece of paper attached to the letter. It was a form that had already been filled out for the school he was to attend-Ouran Academy-and it said that he would begin attending class this coming Thursday. How on Earth was he supposed to get to Japan by then, and why, why must he go with Trancy?!

I was to have a meeting with him this afternoon, Ciel thought.

"Sebastian."

"Yes, my young lord?"

"You are to go this school with me, do you understand?"

"I'm afraid, master, that while I will go with you to Japan, it would be most unsightly for me to attend school with you."

"Hmph." Ciel said, pouting. He sat like that for a while.

"Young master."

"Yes? What is it, Sebastian?!"

"I believe the Trancys have arrived."

"Damn."

"I will go invite them in."

"Cielllllllllllll~!" Alois shrieked, running up the stairs, through the hallway, and into Ciel's office, sitting in Ciel's lap.

"I can't believe we're going to school together! It's going to be so much fun, isn't it, Ciel~?"

"Get off, you blood oaf!" Ciel hollered, pushing Alois to the ground. Before his skinny butt could hit the floor, however, he bounced back up into Ciel's lap, wrapping his arms around the bluenette's neck.

"Aww, c'mon Ciel, that's no way to treat the one who's letting you use his airplane." The blonde said affectionately, nuzzling into Ciel's chest.

"...Airplane?"

"Oh, yes Ciel! Just recently in the States, these two genius men built a marvelous flying contraption called an airplane~!"

"Well... I suppose that would get us there faster... Hey! Stop it!" Ciel yelled at Alois, who was playfully licking Ciel's cheek.

"Alright, fine. But stop being such a party pooper, Ciel." The blonde said, getting back up and sashaying out of the room.

This... Is going to be torture, thought Ciel.

Many days of chaos later, the duo and their butlers had arrived in Japan.

"Woooooooooooooow, Japan is so pretty, Ciel!" Alois screamed at the top of his lungs, twirling around.

"Ugh, can you just shut up for a second?!" Ciel shrieked back. "Sebastian! We have an estate nearby, don't we?!"

Sebastian smiled. "Yes, you and Earl Trancy will be staying in one of your family's summer homes, my young lord."

Ciel sighed. "Isn't the school nearby as well?"

"Yes master, I do believe the school is within walking distance of your estate."

"I suppose we should go then, and go to sleep early so we can be prepared for school tomorrow. Alois, you and Claude fllow Sebastian and I."

Why your majesty? Oh why, why me...

That night was simply more chaos, and the next day at school was starting out no better. It began with Alois waking everyone up at the crack of dawn so Claude could turn his uniform pants into booty shorts, and then Sebastian trying to force-feed Ciel Japanese tea.

Ciel's uniform was perhaps a little too big, but it suited him just fine. Alois, on the other hand, was wearing the uniform top and jacket, but also with his trade-mark shorts and thigh-high socks with boots. Ciel insisted that the blonde would get in trouble, but Alois didn't seem to care. All in all, it had been a rather stressful morning for Ciel.

As the two walked to their classes (they had been put in all the same ones, ironically), Alois had been clinging to Ciel, practically draping himself on the shorter boy as though he were Ciel's wet towel. People, particularly girls, stared at them strangely. Ciel could hear their soft comments and quiet gossiping, but he din't really understand what they were talking about.

"Are they new hosts?"

"Of course they are, only a host would alter their uniform like that."

"I don't remember Tamaki saying anything about new members..."

"That one sure looks like Tamaki, doesn't he?"

"What?! No he doesn't"

"Regular boys would never walk around acting like that! They have to be hosts"

"Say... Alois, do you know anything about this school?"

The blonde lifted his head up, which had been buried in Ciel's shoulder. "Huh? No, I don't believe I do. Why, were you curious about something, sweetie?"

Ciel hissed. "Hey don't go calling me sweetie! And, well, I curious on what a 'host' is..."

Alois giggled like a little girl. "You don't know what a host is?! Bah! Why you've hosted tons of balls, Ciel dear~!"

"No, not that kind of host... Just-Ya know what? Never mind."

Alois nuzzled his head back into Ciel's shoulder. "Mmm. Whatever you say dear."

"Het, get off! And stop calling me 'dear'!" Ciel yelled as the two continued down the hall of the rather suspicious-seeming Ouran Academy.

It was that time of day.

That glorious, magnificent time of day.

What time was it? It was the time that the Ouran Academy Host Club was open, and fangirls from all over the school could come and ogle at beautiful charming boys.

And today...

Music Room #3 was practically empty.

Tamaki bit his nails with worry. "Mommy dear, why hasn't anyone come to see us yet? We've been open for a whole five minutes and hardly anyone's come to see us." The blonde pouted.

Mommy, or Kyoya, adjusted his glasses. "It seems that something else must be grabbing our customers attention. I wonder what. Although..."

Tamaki turned his head. "Although what?"

"Although I know I heard people talking about how charming the new hosts were."

Tamaki nearly exploded. "Whaaaaaaat?! New hosts?! I never brought any new hosts into this group! Our newest host is Haruhi and she's old news now!"

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "I can hear you, Senpai."

"I must venture forth! On a epic quest to find these so called 'new hosts'!" Tamaki declared.

The twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, rolled their eyes. "Hey boss, how do think you'll find them? You don't even know where to look."

"Maybe not, but I know what to look for! Several charming, handsome young men! And since this is a free hour, I can imagine they'd be one of two places: The library or the cafeteria!"

The twins simply stood there, dumbfounded. "He's never going to find them..."

"How 'bout this," Haruhi walked up to the group, shrugging. "You simply ask someone if they know where they are?'

"...! Well, there's always that." Tamaki said, pretending like he knew that all along.

"Mommy! Come with me! And we will find these customer-stealing little thieves..."

Tamaki had been told that (like he predicted) the 'new hosts' were in the small cafeteria. They were just walking in when Tamaki heard something that made his head turn.

"Fangirl screams detected." He declared listening to the 'ooo's and 'ahh's and 'so cute's typic of fangirls. He and Kyoya walked towards the direction of the noise to see...

What could've very well been the cutest little boys he had ever seen. One of them simply screamed 'cool emo' in the appearance, with navy blue colored hair, and a single sapphire eye that dazzled like a star, they opposite eye being covered up by an eye patch. He was goofily yelling at the other boy, who was shamelessly sitting on the bluenette's lap, his arms draped onto him. He had light platinum blonde hair and the iciest, coldest eyes Tamaki had ever seen. And instead of wearing the uniform pants, he had substituted them for a pair of sleazy booty shorts and thigh-high stockings, and well as girlish knee-high boots.

Tamaki gazed at them in awe and wonder. They were acting... exactly as if they were in the Host Club. It didn't even look as though they were trying to lure in girls. They seemed pretty content with one another. And so right then, right there, Tamaki decided...

"I will make those two join the Host Club!"

"...And exactly how do you plan on doing that?" Kyoya asked him. "With all those girls surrounding them, you won't even be able to get close to them."

"Gasp! You're right, Kyoya! Curses! I have to talk to those two boys!"

Kyoya's glasses shimmered as he cocked his head to one side. "Hmm, don't worry, I came prepared." He said, pulling out a large box of Host Cub Photo Books.

"Girls," He yelled at them, grabbing the girls' attention. "Right now as a special one-time offer, we are handing out these limited edition Ouran Academy Host Club Photo Books for free! That's right, free!"

As the girls darted for Kyoya like a pride of hungry lions, the two boys' position remained them same, as if the fangirls hadn't affected them at all. These two weren't even acting, and that shocked Tamaki.

"Excuse me," Tamaki said as he walked up to the two boys, grabbing their attention. "But have either of you two ever heard of the Host Club here at Ouran?"

"No never~!" The blonde screamed girlishly, while "What the bloody hell is a Host Club?" was the bluenette's response.

They're even British! How charming! Tamaki thought to himself.

"Hmm. Why don't you come with me, so I can show you."

Immediately, the blonde leapt up from the bluenette's lap and draping himself on Tamaki instead.

"Alois! Get off of him!" The bluenette yelled at 'Alois'.

"No, Cielly. Now come on! You said you wanted to know what a 'host' is didn't you. Well maybe hosts live at the Host Club!" Alois squealed.

"So you were curious what a host is, eh? C'mon, and you'll get to see."

"Alright..." 'Cielly' said, coming with Tamaki, 'Alois' along with him.

"I wonder what's takin' boss so long." Hikaru said, twiddling his thumbs.

"Beats me. Maybe he's-"

"I'm here!" Tamaki yelled as he strode into the room.

Kaoru nearly spat out his coffee when he saw the sleazy-looking blonde draped across Tamaki, and the blue-haired boy walking alongside them, yelling at said blonde.

"Woah, boss, where did you pull them from?" Hikaru said, laughing at the couple that Tamaki dragged in.

The blonde boy on Tamaki's arm suddenly smirked evilly, walking towards Hikaru. "Aww, what is it you find so funny? Do you not like seeing someone all over your man?"

"Hey, kid! That's not 'my man'! That's-"

The boy leaned in close to Hikaru, and licked his face. "I could be all over you instead." He said seductively.

"Alois!" The blue-haired boy yelled at the blonde.

The blonde chuckled lightly, his mood shifting majorly. "Don't worry Ciel, I was only joking. You're the only one I'll even love."

The bluenette boy blushed slightly, and then suddenly, a booming voice came from the floor, and a spinning platform with a beautiful girl on it came up from the ground.

"Well well well, Tamaki Senpai. It appears you've recruited some new hosts. Name!" The girl screamed, pointing at Ciel.

"Wha-Um, Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive." The bluenette said, somewhat frightened.

"Hmm, eye patch, dark hair, masculine voice, generally dark aura... You, Ciel Phantomhive, are the Gothic Type!" She screeched at 'Ciel'.

Tamaki ran over to Ciel, hugging him. "Oh Renge, I was thinking the exact same! We're in need of a Gothic Type!"

"And you!" The girl, Renge, pointed over to the blonde boy.

"I am Alois Trancy!" The blonde boy beamed.

"Licks and drapes himself on others- particularly men, quick mood swings, acts rather girlish... You, Alois Trancy, are the Feminine Type!"

"And now, you two must train to become hosts!"

"What?!" "Yippee!"

And just like that, Miss Renge went back into the floor.

"What the bloody hell in going on here?!" Ciel yelled.

"It looks like you two are now gonna be hosts." Hikaru and Kaoru said in unison.

"What does being a host mean?" Alois asked innocently.

"Wooing and entertaining the beautiful women here at Ouran." Kaoru told him.

"But I don't like girls!" Alois yelled.

"Hey neither do I, kid, 'cuz I am one. But that doesn't stop me." Haruhi agreed.

"Shut up, all of you! It's official, Alois and Ciel are gonna be hosts, whether they like it or not!" Tamaki yelled, japing a finger at the two boys.

"Sebastian!" Ciel yelled, but no response.

And just like that, Ciel thought, Alois and I were official in the Ouran Academy Host Club.

*I am shameless. I have nothing to say about this. Just review. Please.

*For the love of Phantomhive, please review!