Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, items, products etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, products or locations. No copyright infringement is intended.

*Caution*

This is a DARK crack-fic. I play with death and torture and toy with an undertone of incest. If this isn't your cup of tea, please don't read any further. You've been warned, and the rest of you – Enjoy!

Play Date:

He didn't know I was there until I snapped his neck between my fingers. His body dropped unceremoniously to the damp grass of Central Park, as I turned to his female friend. Her eyes were wide and her mouth opened and closed without sound—The dying fish semblance did nothing for her already plain features. Stepping over her companion's body, I grabbed her by the throat and brought her flailing body within inches of my face.

The aroma of terror combined with her frantic pulse was intoxicating. I sank my teeth into her flesh and allowed the blood to flow freely down my throat. As her life finally ended, I smiled. There was nothing like a midnight snack to brighten what had been a rather dreary day.

Her body joined her companion's on the damp earth. He wasn't nearly as sweet as she had been, but the undertone of brandy in his blood was a tolerable night cap.

I cleaned my hands on the female's coat before taking my leave. Their bodies would no doubt be found sometime tomorrow—the ditch was visible from the playground at any rate. A grin spread across my face, the thought of panicked and hysterical children was enough to make me hard. I would have to watch the news—getting to see the aftermath and the turmoil my snack would cause would be worth the painful task of briefly watching American television.

The cell phone in the pocket of my wool coat buzzed, and I brought it to my ear.

"Hello, my lovely. Are you done with your errand?'

"Of course. Aro will be pleased—we now have their full cooperation." Jane's beautiful voice answered from the other end.

"Pity. I wanted to play."

"Tomorrow, brother. We'll play. I know just the spot."

"I'm on my way back to you now. I'll be there soon."

"I'm here, waiting for you." I could hear the smile in her voice, and I picked up my pace.

Coney Island, or Luna Park as we remembered it, had been given a face-lift, so it seemed. The rickety wooden coasters and blatantly abused circus beasts had been replaced. The shiny rides, well-treated show animals, and jovial clowns were a letdown. My lovely sister was determined to not let the updated and cheerful atmosphere ruin over visit.

The park wasn't crowded—not many New Yorkers enjoyed the overcast and breezy weather, but it would be perfect for our purposes. The wind howled through the rides and caused the wooden coasters to groan and creak.

Jane squeezed my hand and leaned comfortably into my side.

"Do you remember the fun house?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

I smiled at the memory. "Of course, they called the fun house Susanna then. It was one of the first things we did when we visited this city. The old carney running the fun house didn't get the last laugh with us, did he sister?"

Jane giggled, then paused to kiss my cheek. "Do you remember how stale he tasted? He was by far one of the vilest humans I think I've ever eaten."

Shuddering at the memory, I allowed Jane to guide me along the winding path through the amusement park.

"Where are you taking me, love?" I asked, glancing down at her beautiful form tucked into my side.

She smiled sweetly up at me. "You'll see. It's a surprise."

After only a few more minutes of walking through the human-polluted park, we finally reached our destination. The horrifically bright paint was garish and insulted my superior vision, but nevertheless, we were going to enjoy our afternoon.

The funhouse stood slightly apart from the other attractions, and the loud carnival music being pumped out of its depths was punctuated nicely with a human scream every few seconds. My sister squeezed my hand and led me forward.

"This is perfect." Our smiles mirrored each other's as we entered through the lopsided yellow door.

The various trapdoors and maintenance hatches would make our plan all the easier; we could stay out of sight and still have our fun.

Jane enjoyed playing her pain game on the unsuspecting humans as they entered the room of mirrors. Their shrieks echoed nicely into the crawl space. The mortals would then make their clumsy way across the swaying bridge and into the ball pit.

I picked the ball pit because their weak brains would associate it with water, and as I took away their senses, not only would they assume they were drowning, but in their motionless state they'd sink to the filthy bottom. When I finally released them, they would flail futilely in the plastic balls, trying to resurface. Humans were so pathetic.

Jane had allowed two young humans to pass by unscathed through her room.

"Why did you skip them?"

The two young humans dropped like stones into the ball pit as they succumbed to my gift. Jane skimmed her hand down my arm until she wove her fingers between mine.

"I skipped them because the mirror room was already quite painful for them. No doubt they will kill themselves before too long anyway."

Quirking an eyebrow, I looked down at her before she answered my unspoken question.

"They're fat and ugly."

We both had to stifle our laughter. Finally gaining control of my giggles, I moved to cup my sister's angelic face between my hands. She leaned into my touch.

"Not everyone can be as perfect and beautiful as you, Jane."

She met my gaze and several minutes passed.

"No one is as handsome as you, brother." Jane turned her head so she could kiss my palm, and I dropped my hands from her face.

"Shall we eat now, dear sister? You seem to have awoken my appetite."

She winked at me, before jumping down into the ball pit. I released my hold on our victims' senses, so as we walked over their prostrate bodies we could hear their muffled screams and cries for help. My body shuddered in pleasure. There wasn't a more arousing sound than a mortal crying out for help or an end to their pain and suffering.

Jane reached through the multi-colored plastic spheres and yanked the older of the two humans up to our level by her hair.

The other human, I managed to pull up by her pierced ear and the force of the movement partially severed it from her ugly head. She cried out in shock and terror, but I silenced them both. No human's pitiful cries were going to interrupt my conversation with my sister.

Jane said exactly what I had been thinking, "Shall we do them a favor by killing them now, and sparing them from a lifetime of ridicule?"

I thought briefly. "We could turn them and force them to spend all eternity as the only ugly vampires in existence."

Smiling at the thought, we both shook our heads in unison, before turning back to our meal.

Releasing them from my gift once more, my sister and I enjoyed listening as their screams turned into pleas and then finally silence.

AN:

Jane and Alec just make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, right? Total sunshine and roses.

I was motivated to write this after an especially negative meeting with my sexist-pig of a boss, so hence the overly happy and joyful plot!

Reviews are sweet, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

*Originally, in the early 1900s at Coney Island, the funhouse was also known as the SUSANNA. It was so called because in its initial form it was just that: a house or larger building containing a number of amusement devices.