Chapter One

Rain was pouring from the sky as we drove to Forks. Everything was so dreary here. Like I needed more depression. Ugh. My sister Jackie blasted the stereo, singing at the top of her lungs to

"Dynamite" by Taio Cruz. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my cigarettes off the dashboard. Lighting up my cigarette I inhaled deeply and exhaled, watching the smoke fill the car. My sister gagged and turned

the music down. "Jennifer! You know I don't want you smoking in my car without the window cracked!" she whined, rolling down the window for me. Rain splattered against my face for a moment then

she rolled it up to where it was just cracked. "That's what you get for not listening. You shouldn't be smoking anyway! Your only sixteen!" I rolled my eyes again and kept smoking. Blowing the smoke

from my mouth I looked at her. "I have been smoking for two years. Ever since mom and dad died. You can't blame me for picking up a bad habit. Better then cutting isn't it?" I asked, showing the

deep scars from my cutting days. I started cutting after my mom and dad died in the car crash. The day they had their crash was my fourteenth birthday. We had been waiting on them to get home

because they had left a note explaining they had a surprise for me when they got back. We waited all night and they never showed. It was around eleven that night when someone knocked on our

door. My sister, being the adult, opened the door and I watched her face go pale. Two police officers were standing in our living room, talking quietly. I knew as soon as they entered the door that

something was horribly wrong. My sister turned to me, tears in her eyes and she held out her arm to me. I knew immediately what had happened and I screamed at them, taking the anger, hurt, and

confusion out on them. " NO! YOU CAN'T FIX THIS!" I ran to my room and slammed and locked the door, shoving the dresser in front of it so my sister couldn't bother me. Throwing myself on the bed,

I grabbed the remote to my stereo and blasted my rock music. Drowning out the lightening and thunder I bawled my eyes out, wondering what me and my sister were going to do now. My eyes

swollen from crying, I ran to my bathroom and grabbed a razor. Splitting it open, I took the blade apart and adjusted it in my fingers. Extending my arm, I sliced as hard and as deep as I could go.

Screaming, I dug deeper and deeper, wanting to go with my parents. I could not stand the fact they were gone and my life was over. Blood gushed from my arm, pouring onto the floor and ruining

my white and black birthday dress. I collapsed on the floor and laid there, waiting for my time to come. As I was fading in and out of consciousness, I seen shadows busting down my door and

hurrying over to me. That's when I lost consciousness. After that day, I had promised my sister that I would never cut that deep again. I kept cutting though but eventually, after many pleads

and cries from Jackie, I decided to quit cutting. There was a total of 25 scars on my arms, legs, and thighs. That was when I started smoking too. Suicidal depression was a lingering condition that

would not go away. I tried therapy, medicine, nothing could help it. So my sister decided that we should move to a new place, trying to start a new life, where I may have friends and get them to get

things off my mind and clear all my depression. Yeah, right.