Why Sasuke Chose Naruto and Not Sakura
AN~Well dang-nabbitt. My typing seriously sucks today and I have a headache. But no worries, I have an industrial size bottle of aspirin! SO anyways I would like to send my thanks out to all you people who've been reading my fanfic, and a nobel prize to those who've reviewed.
WARINING! Contains weirdness.
Sakura stretched contentedly as she walked down her lawn and to her mailbox. She began to hum happily to herself as she looked through her mail. Bill, bill, post card from Ino, a letter from Sasuke, bill, bill. Sakura did a double-take. A letter from Sasuke! He never sent letters, maybe he had finally come to realize that Sakura was the only one for him. Eagerly she tore into the letter and began to read it.
Dear Sakura,
It has come to my knowledge that you are still in love with me and that you wont stop following me around town. Quite frankly it creeps me the fuck out. I will never feel the same way about you. But seeing as you are a bit on the crazy side it looks like I'll have to give you a list of reasons.
1- What is with that hair color, were your parents made of cotton candy
2- As I have mentioned before, you are crazy
3- You have the shortest temper I have ever seen
4- Your voice is waaaaaaaaay too shrill
5- I will never fall in love with someone who stalks me like you do
6- You never stop gabbing me randomly out of nowhere, seriously where do you hide
7- Last year at Kakashi's Christmas party you tried to drug me
8- I am not superficial but your forehead is so big we could start a new village on it
9- Why does everything you wear have to be red, it totally clashes with your creepy hair
10- When you bat your eyelashes at me like that I honestly think you are having a seizure
11- Also two years ago you tried to trick me into marrying you by using a genjutsu on me, I still have nightmares
12- You have no boobs, stop trying to shove my face into them every five minutes
13- You have no social life outside of stalking me and the hospital where you work
14- What the hell is up with that split personality thing you've got going on, is there something you need to tell us
15- When you are PMS-ing I usually consider going back to Orochimaru
16- I don't want to date a woman who could break my spine in half if I annoyed her
17- I am not that desperate to restart the Uchiha clan
18- Mood swings, I fear them
19- Stop giggling it hurts my ears
20- Stop writing stories about you and me having sex and then giving them to Jiraiya to publish
21- You don't really have much of a figure so stop wearing skin-tight clothing, it's gross
22- I see you as a sister
23- I don't want to fuck my sister
24- Stop telling everyone that we are dating, I want no part of you
25- Stop fighting over me with Ino, and if you can get her to leave me alone
26- You are a girl
27- You lack a penis
28- I am gay
29- You are not Naruto
30- I LOVE NARUTO, and I always will
As you can see it is a very lengthy list. I would also like to take this opportunity to direct you towards a man who love you unconditionally, if you can get past the freaky eyebrows I think you and Lee would make a happy color.
ps- I would like to invite you to Mine and Naruto's wedding. See you there.
Needless to say Sakura fainted moments later.
AN~ Well it has been done, so like it, hate it review and tell me so! You know you want to! Ta-ta for now!