Set after Season 12 episode 9, First Blood
The drive home was somber. Dean sat in the backseat with Cas, not knowing whether to thank him for killing Billie, or sock him in the mouth. "Cosmic consequences"? Yeah, that didn't sound good.
They arrived at the bunker, and Dean felt an unexpected wave of emotion. He was home. They were home. They were safe.
He and Sam hit the showers, and changed into their own clothes. It felt so good to finally get out of those God-awful jumpsuits.
They walked into the kitchen, and Dean grinned when he saw that Cas and Mary had prepared a meal for them. There was a smoothie and one of those healthy, lettuce-wrap things for Sam, and a triple bacon cheeseburger for him. With a side of pie!
Sam hugged their mom, and the poor guy looked like he was about to cry as he softly said, "thanks."
"Don't thank me." Mary smiled. Castiel told me what to get you."
"Thanks buddy." Dean said around a mouthful of pie. He was surprised, and actually kinda touched that Cas had remembered what they liked.
"Of course. It's good to have you back."
"So, what have you two been up to while we were gone?"
Cas shrugged. "Mostly looking for you. Mary did some hunting."
"Yeah?" Sam raised an eyebrow. "I though you wanted out."
"Well..." Mary said sheepishly. "Old habits die hard. Monsters still need killing. There was a pack of werewolves, and then the vampires-"
"Wait, you took out a pack all by yourself?" Dean's eyes widened.
"Oh, no. Of course not. The twins, Asa's kids? They called me in for backup. And Castiel did a lot of the work in finding the vampires."
Cas shook his head. "No. You did all the work. I was useless."
Dean frowned at the self-deprecating tone. "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. You've only ever hunted with us. Going solo is a different story."
Cas just shrugged.
After they finished eating, Dean went to his room. Nothing was out of place; everything looked exactly as it had the day they left. He all but collapsed onto his bed, letting out a satisfied sigh as he sank into the mattress. A real bed. God, he'd missed this.
Dean awoke with a start in the middle of the night. He sat up, heartbeat slowing as he took in the familiar surroundings. He was home. Looking to the clock, he was disappointed to see that it was 4 in the morning. Too awake to fall back asleep, he wandered down the hall to check on Sam.
It was an old habit, one he'd missed while in captivity. He hated not knowing if his brother was okay. Quietly pushing his door open, he smiled when he saw Sam sleeping soundly, locks of hair falling onto his forehead.
He shut the door and moved on to the guest bedroom, where he assumed Mary was staying. She was sleeping as well. He lingered in the doorway, trying not to let mixed feelings taint the joy of coming home.
Would their mother stay? How would they adjust to having her in their lives? On the other hand, if she left...would he be able to take it again? As much as he hated to admit it, Dean had severe abandonment issues. He'd lost far too many people.
Dammit, he needed to quit thinking. He and Sam were home. Mary was here for now. He needed to just enjoy the moment.
On his way to the fridge for a beer, he walked through their "living room" - basically a couch and some chairs Sam had insisted they get to make the bunker feel more homey.
"Dean,"
"Jesus!" He cursed, ready to take out the intruder before he realized it was Cas, speaking from under a pile of blankets on the couch. The angel switched on the lamp.
"Sorry," Cas's voice was rough, almost as if he'd been asleep seconds before. His messed up hair only supported the theory. It was actually kind of sexy. Dean blinked. Wow, it had definitely been way too long since he'd gotten laid.
Adrenaline still pumping through his veins, Dean flopped down next to Cas. "'s okay, I guess I'm still a little on edge."
"Is that why you're awake? What time is it?"
"It's a little past four. Eh, I'm not tired. Pretty much the only thing to do in Solitary is sleep, so I've had more than enough of that the past few weeks."
"Oh,"
"Yeah, what are you doing? Were you asleep? I thought angels didn't need sleep."
"They don't. How are you doing, Dean?" He quickly changed the subject.
"I'm good. Happy to be home, you know?"
Cas didn't look convinced. "You said it was worse than Hell. I saw the state of your soul when I pulled you out of that place; it wasn't good."
Dean shook his head. "It wasn't worse...just...different. I'm used to torture. I can take pain. That's what I was expecting. But they threw me in that goddamn cell, and left me there. No human interaction for weeks...at first it was kinda nice, but the main reason I made the deal with Billie was-"
"For Sam."
"Yeah. I guess you know me a little too well." Dean chuckled. "I was okay. I mean, being alone with your thoughts is never a good thing, but I was handling it. Sam, on the other hand...he gets weird about it. I couldn't let him rot there. I had to get him out."
"Dean, I'm so sorry." Cas blurted out. "I left you two alone, and then I lost the girl, the entire reason-"
"Hey, it's okay. You couldn't have known what would happen. Besides, it's Kelly's choice in the end. Even if it is the Devil's baby, we can't just force her to have an abortion. That's messed up. She chose to run. She's got your number, hopefully she'll call us when the thing is born."
Cas nodded, glad that Dean agreed. He hadn't felt comfortable with making Kelly destroy the baby if she didn't want to. "I hope she contacts us. That child would have the potential to destroy the world."
"Yeah, but I don't think anything is born evil, you know? They've gotta learn it. Kelly seems like a good woman, maybe she'll teach it right."
"For all our sakes, I hope so."
For the first time in a while, Dean took a good, long look at Cas. The angel looked beat. Tired. There were dark circles under his dull blue eyes. He looked skinnier. A sudden feeling of concern crept into his mind.
"Cas, are you okay?"
He seemed taken aback by the question. "Yes, I'm fine. Why?"
"You look like shit."
The angel gave a small smile. "I don't think that's very nice."
"You know what I mean. What happened while we were gone?"
"I already told you, we looked for you." Cas shifted nervously, drawing the blankets tighter around himself as if he were cold. But angels didn't get cold...
"No, what happened to you?" Dean wouldn't drop it. "Something's different, man."
"I...had an encounter with some witches." Cas finally admitted.
Dean frowned. "And?"
"And what? They weakened me."
"How? There's something you're not telling me."
Cas hesitated.
"Would you please just tell me? I'm done with all the secrets and hiding." Dean glared with frustration.
The angel looked down guiltily. "I was trying to find you." He said softly. "Rowena wouldn't help me, so I sought out a less powerful Coven. They needed to harness great power to perform the spell, so I allowed them access to my Grace."
"You did what?" Dean's eyes widened, feeling slightly guilty.
"It was a mistake, I know...instead of taking only what she needed for the spell, the Witch tried to take more. Presumably to be used for future purposes. But an angel's Grace is like an unstable element. It's not safe..."
Dean didn't like where this was going. "What happened?"
"By the time I realized what was happening, I was too weak to stop it. I tried to warn her, but she didn't listen." Cas swallowed hard. "My Grace tore through that building with the force of a bomb. Luckily we were in an abandoned farmhouse and no one else was hurt, but...the entire Coven died. Incinerated before they could perform the spell." Cas said bitterly.
"Shit," Dean breathed. "What about your Grace?"
"I was able to retain about 30 percent of it; what she hadn't extracted yet. But the rest...gone. Vaporized with the witches."
"Damn..."
"As usual, I make things worse by trying to help."
"Hey!" Dean frowned. "It wasn't your fault."
"I allowed them to take my Grace. Those witches are dead because of me."
"They tried to steal your spark, dude. Good riddance to 'em."
The angel sighed. "Even so, I do not like unnecessary death. And now I am basically useless. We might have been able to find you sooner if I had been at full power."
"Cas, it's okay." Dean patted his shoulder, trying to reassure him. "We're back now. And you're not useless."
"I'm practically human! I require sleep, sustenance, and I get cold...it's quite annoying. I didn't miss this."
Dean knew he was remembering the time Metatron had stolen his Grace. Cas was completely human then. "Is there any way to...I dunno, recharge your battery?"
"It will 'recharge' itself, eventually. But that could take months."
"How long has it been?"
"Three weeks."
"Dammit, Cas..." Dean rubbed his temples. "What are we gonna do with you?"
"Nothing. I trust you will keep this between us. There is no reason for Sam or Mary to know."
"Um, when they see you eating and sleeping, they're gonna know something is up. Angels don't do that stuff."
"Exactly why I haven't been doing those things with your mother around. I will leave when I need to nourish myself. I'll find a safe place to sleep."
"No wonder you look horrible!" Dean's voice rose. "You've been like this for almost a month, and you've been with my mom for a lot of it. That's why you're losing weight, why you look so tired...why didn't you just tell her? There's no shame in being human."
"I didn't want to alarm your mother." He admitted. "She was worried enough about you and Sam, I didn't want her to think she had to take care of me as well."
Dean shook his head. "Cas...we're home now. You don't have to leave the bunker just to eat and sleep; it's safer here anyway."
"Okay..." The angel agreed reluctantly.
"Great." Dean stood. "Go back to sleep, we'll make up another guest bedroom tomorrow."
"But-"
"No buts. We've got plenty of rooms."
"Thank you." Cas said, looking small (and adorable) under the pile of blankets.
"Alright, get some sleep." Dean mumbled, walking away before his brain came up with any more unwanted thoughts about Cas.