Happy Fortieth Ross
A note to my fans: HI this is an idea that I got as I realized that the actor who was our favorite paleontologist turns the big four o tomorrow. I am sure a few of us would like to give him a really great present, I know I would. Instead for us fans, I am writing this and hope you all enjoy it. It is for the members of Friends Board in Everlasting Love and the David lovers at Versatility. As per usual , these characters are the property of Bright Kaufmann and Crane Productions and Warner Brothers…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!!!!!!!!! We STILL love you!!!!!
Brightly colored balloons covered the walls at Central Perk. It was obviously going to be a celebration. But Gunther had to be bribed. He was not Gunther's favorite person, but with a little sweet talk from Rachel and a kiss on the cheek, Monica had arranged to have a birthday party for her brother. Ross was turning forty!!!
There was a huge buffet on the table that Monica had to guard from Joey. There was lasagna, turkey, and sandwiches, as well as hummus and sushi. In the middle of the table was a white cake with a number forty and a plastic dinosaur on it. In big blue letters it was spelled out HAPPY FORTIETH ROSS. Monica had made the cake herself, they had talked about getting the cake from the same bakery they used for Emma's first birthday. Obviously they didn't want the cake to be a penis or some other sexual organ.
On the wall was a huge picture of Ross. Next to it was a huge banner that had been painted by Mike, Phoebe's husband. Emma ran around with a piece of paper covered with crayon drawings. Her shoes were untied , so she almost tripped over them. Chandler leaned down and tied them. After that , her and her cousins resumed their running around and being loud.
"Well Rachel, said that she would get him to come here. " Monica plotted. "She would say she wanted to get some coffee after their dinner." It was ingenious. Rachel was taking him to dinner at their favorite restaurant. Then she would say how she wanted to go to Central Perk for old times sake , and then everyone would hide and yell surprise.
"All I know is this. I am going to love the fact that I can talk about all the dumb things your brother has done and not get in trouble." Chandler laughed. "This is gonna be great."
"We are doing this because we love Ross. Now be nice to him, or I won't be nice to you." Monica said. At that point , her cell rang. She answered it. "Okay, that was Rachel, they just paid the bill and she was calling from the restroom. Battle stations." Monica cried like an army general. Everyone scurried as Monica turned off the lights. Phoebe herded the kids into the kitchen , so they could present their pictures. In the darkness of the coffee shop, nothing could be hidden from Monica.
"Joey , I am not going to say it again. Do not touch that food." She yelled.
"Boy this is fun, " said Jack Geller hiding under the counter. The next noise was followed by "Oh Jack, " in a passionate manner as Judy rubbed against him.
"Mom , Dad. This is not the time and ewwww." Monica commented. The next noise they heard was some rumbling at the front door of the coffee shop. "Rach, I know you wanted some coffee, but I think they are closed." The voice said. "See , the lights are off." Rachel took hold of the door. "Maybe it is just a blackout , a local one." She lied. "Of one store?" Ross opened the door and then he ducked his head in. The lights came on.
"Surprise!" a chorus of voices screamed. Everyone came out of their hiding places, except Jack and Judy who were still hiding under the counter and obviously occupied. "Oh Jack, right there." Monica and Ross turned toward the counter and exclaimed. "EWWWWWWW!" Then the two parents popped out , trying to act innocent.
"This is why you wanted coffee?" Ross smiled. Rachel nodded. "I am so touched. " he said putting his hand to his chest. "Was this your idea , sweetie?" he asked Rachel. Monica was offended by this. "No , this was my idea. After all , you only turn forty once." She said earnestly.
"Ross is forty! Why God why?" cried Joey lifting his arms to the sky. Chandler came over and put his hand on Joey's shoulder. "Joe, you are going to be that soon as well." He said. "We had a deal God." He said as he shook his fists to the air.
In the middle of the coffee shop, Ross was directed to a chair and sat down. "My picture on the wall. I feel like I am at one of those celebrity roasts." Ross commented. He looked down and saw three little kids carrying papers with crayon marks on them. They were led out of the kitchen by Phoebe. Jack's said Happy Bid day Uncle Ross and so did Erica's …Emma had a toothy grin as she carried hers out proudly . "Happy Birthday Daddy." She announced.
"Actually we are having a roast tonight." Joey said. "But I am not the master of ceremonies, we have the one person who has known you the longest other than your wife and your sister, and a very funny guy… Ladies and gentleman, Chandler Bing….Chandler came out from the makeshift curtain wearing a tuxedo.
"Thank you , thank you, well Ross you are forty. That makes you almost as old as the dinosaurs that you love so much. No seriously dude. We all get old and we all look back on the mistakes that we have made when we were young , in your case, there have been a lot of them. Like marrying a girl and saying the wrong name or putting on a pair of leather pants that were obviously too small and not being able to put them back on." The crowd gathered was laughing. "Oh and who could forget this?" there was a huge picture of Ross when he had the spray tan done on one side of his body.
"Tonight we are gathered together to tell you how we feel about you. The way we truly feel." Chandler said. "And first to speak, is your sister and my wife , Monica. Monica walked up to the make shift podium .