Whitespace

by Prosthetic Forehead

Between reality and imaginary, there is a fine line. Shirou crosses that line when he brings an end to Gilgamesh's madness. He would be fine if it ended right there, if for all his efforts he had just been a victorious martyr. Instead, he awakens in an odd place - Fuyuki just as he remembered it. Only, it's really not quite the same.

1. àｓｙɭúϻ

coming to

feeling like

□□□□-□-□rd□-□

f eling like

_ feeling like

othing left

nothing□□□-□□_□

buta□□□hill□□□□

looking□just looking

and□seeing□nothing

no vivid detail

andfeeling□□nothing□

□□can□t□even□grasp

asingle□thing□nothing

feeling like

a□□o□□□□□□□□rd

withstanding□□pain

withstanding to what? what?

when i was young i remember

seeing kiritsugu

i watched, seeinga□□o□□□□□□□□rd

□□□□feeling his brush against the empty white paper

white

the white paper, his brush, grasping, feeling it wielded

likeaa□□o□□□□□□□□rdhemovedit so gracef

like a□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

just like a□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□a□□o□□□□□□□□rd

when he was finished he held it up and asked me what i thought

i was too young, so i didn't know, i didn't think

my mind wasjustblank

whiteandblank

he said then

that he would not train me, until i could tell him what he had just written

i wanted to learn from him

i loved his meaning, the empty unjudging look

standing with frozen mountains under him

□□o□□□□rd

i never did see the barren strand wound around his eyes

□□o□□□□□□□□rd

i tried to understandhim but he was too clever and i was too young

so, it wasn't hard to ask fuji-nee what he had written

but when i told him what he had written, he shook his head

"try again"

i did. i asked fuji-nee again

she said there was an older definition for the word kiritsugu had written down

sky

was the same word for

empt□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

y

so i told him, "empty"

and again, he shook his head

and again, i asked fuji-nee

and she smiled so big and wide

she showed me□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

she showed me an open fist□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

she showed me an empty fist□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

she said it could me□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□an□□□□□□□□□□□□□□fight□□□□□□□□□□□□□□ingwithanopen□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

but again, kiritsugu shook□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□shook□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□kirtsigu□□□□□□□□□□□□□□tsugu□□□□□□□shook□□□□□□□hisheadandsmiled

iwassomadthat□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□sw□□□□r□□□□

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□thati□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□s□□r□□□□□□

igraspedit□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□hethoughticouldn□□□□□□□t□□□□□□□□□□□□□□hedidn□□□□□□□twantmeon□□□□□□□this□□□□□□□path□□□□□□□

butigraspedit□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□swo□□□r□□□□

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□what□□□□□□□□□□□□□□is□□□□□□□easy□□□□□□□to□□□□□□□overlook□□□□□□□is□□□□□□□□□□□□□□thewhitespace□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

thespacebetweenwords□□□□□□□thespacebetweenletters□□□□□□□theemptyspaceofaword□□□□□□□itwaswhatmadeawordawordandaletteraletter□□□□□□□

thick□□□□□□□dark□□□□□□□strokes□□□□□□□he□□□□□□□brushed□□□□□□□slow□□□□□□□but□□□□□□□it□□□□□□□was□□□□□□□whitespace□□□□□□□he□□□□□□□was□□□□□□□paying□□□□□□□attention□□□□□□□to

"contrast between the elements"

"goodjobshirou"□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□heshookhishead

iguessihaveto□□□□□□□teach□□□□□□□you□□□□□□□all□□□□□□□i□□□□□□□know□□□□□□□now

stare□□□□□□□at□□□□□□□theheart

stare□□□□□□□deep□□□□□□□attheheart

notintheye□□□□□□□notinthehand□□□□□□□notinthefoot□□□□□□□notintothespace

stare into that man's heart

that is the stare kiritsugu had

that is the stare of a h□□o

seethroughtheheart□□□□□□□seethroughtheheart□□□□□□□andgrasp□□□□□□□whatliesbeyondit□□□□□□□

graspthetheory□□□□□□□grasptheelement□□□□□□□graspthehistory□□□□□□□grasptheorigin□□□□□□□graspitall

grasp its strength, grasp its weakness

thatishowyoufight□□□□□□□withouttlegraphs□□□□□□□withoutdistractions□□□□□□□withoutshame□□□□□□□withoutinjustice

thatishowyouarejust□□□□□□□withinseeing□□□□□□□withinfeeling□□□□□□□withinvictory□□□□□□□within□□□□□□□□□□□□□□"Do not think about other things,

throb□□□□

□□□□there is only one thing you can do

□□□□□□throb□□□

So master that one thing.□□□

□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□Do not forget. □□□sw□□□□□rdWhat you must imagine is alwa□ys that you, yourse□lf, are the □□□strongest.□□□□□throb□

□□□□throb□You do not need outside enemies. Fo□□□□thump□r you, the one you □□□throb□□have to fight is no□□□thumpthump□□ne other than yo□□throb□□□ur ow□□_._._.□□□n □□□□□i□□□□□mage.□□□□□□□□□□"

snap

all at once it came back like a flood of fury that i could not keep up with. I was moving blindly forward with it all unleashed and it all unwound with it all concentrated in a single movement and it overwhelmed him. Gilgamesh came under me as I tumbled down; tumbling now on top of him whirling in the gray desert so fast I'm still catching up with my brain. Fwink. Fwink. Fwink.□□□□□□□□□□□□□□Fwink□□□□□□□Fwink□□□□□□□The blades come flying down stabbing into his gilded plate, sheering metal with wringing shrieks of swords. Two slice through the dry empty air and pierce his palms. Crucified beneath me as I straddle him pounding with my arms that swing like blades drive into his feet and thighs. His back arches and he wails a laborious scream that births his death. Blood oozes from the King's joints □□□bang□□□□and then□□□bam□□□□□funk□□□□□□thevoid□□□thuck□□□□begins□□□slamslamslamslam□□□□to□□□□□□□crumble□□□□□□□crumbling away at my world as I□□□□□□ tr□□□□sh h□□□□m□□□bam□□bam□b□itallcomesundone□□□withmyfistsofsteel□□□□Ithrottle his neck and he stares deep into each other's eyes. Seeing myself like a stranger in my own eyes as we stare my bloody fury leaves me like a licked flame

Without the strength to move and with my thighs so tightly squeezing his ribs I cannot possibly get up now. We're sliding too fast and there's nothing to grip to hold onto. I wonder if there's not a way to hold on but for some reason my brain goes..empty. I feel something peaceful fill the void in my throbbing chest. The King wrestles underneath me, his bloody fingers wrapping around my neck. I realize that there might be a way, but for sure, I can hold this tyrant down- I- I can do this- It's what I was meant to-

My blades all just turn to dust. Exhausted and without anything left in my weak circuits, I feel it all go away- I hold on tighter, pushing Gilgamesh into the ground as we slide and slide and slide and then-It vanishes into darkness. And so do I.

Weightless dream so very nothing all around, no beautiful moon, no grand old temple, no pressurizing miasma - no whipping streaks of clashing swords; nothing. The very absence of all things. There is nothing to grasp, to hold, or even think. Time is instantly eternal and permanently fleeting. I can feel every tick and recall none of it. The last two weeks are all gone now in my head and there's truly nothing that remains of me. All of that effort put into surviving, into winning - it's all over now.

I won.

I won?

I think I did. I must have won. Is this what winning feels like? It doesn't feel like winning, but I know I bought enough time for Saber. I think it's all going to be okay for everyone back in□□□□□□.

Why does it feel so...□□□empty□□□?

I think Rin will be okay. It's a hollow victory, to win but die winning. Or, it's supposed to be, but maybe I'm happy like this. It feels right somehow; by dying with the man who committed the Fire I've atoned just a little inside the mind that claims it has no guilt. Rin cannot blame me - I tried my very best and wouldn't she be pr□□□□

no,

come on,

Kiritsugu!, □on't□□□

□□□shakeyourhead□□□

□□□now. I know you don□□□□□□□tapproveofmythinking. I just□□□□□□□ How can I□□□□□□□how can I say it?□□□□□□□With blackness all around, I can see Rin and Saber and Sakura and work and the people at□□school□□□Issei□□□hers□□□mile□□□somethinlike□a□smile□□□□□I can grasp those feelings□too□□□□□□they aren'thollow□□□□□□□but□□□

□□□□I have no regrets.□□□□□

□□This is the only way□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□

úｎｌíϻïｔéԁｃ߀ｎ ìｐѕüｍ ԁ߀ɭ߀ｒ ѕíｔ ã ƅɭáᏧë ɯòｒｋѕԉǥùè ｅú ϻêâｔƃａɭｌ ｍäｇԉã ѕɦ߀ｒｔ ｌｏïｎ ѕｔｒìｐ ｓｔｅɑƙ ｒïｂëϒé éԉíϻ. Aԉìｍ ƙｉéɭƃåｓâ úｔ, ｈáϻ ϳｏɯɭ ρáｒïäｔｕｒƙïｒíｔѕüｇû ɯìｔɦѕｔò߀ԁ ｐáｉл ｔｏ ｃｒëａｔê ϻàлϒ ɰｅäρ߀лѕｓａｇｅ ƃèéｆ ｒïƅѕ ɑｄ ǥｒ߀úI áｍ ｔｈë ｂ߀лè ߀ｆ ｍｙｆúｒｔéｒ. Hí հａѵｅ ｃｒëàｔêԁ ߀ѵｅｒ òлê ｔհ߀úѕãԉԁ ƃɭãᏧèѕｃƙèｎ ｐòｒƙ, ｖｏｌｕｐｔâｔë Ꮷｏ ｃհûｃｋ ｃòｎｓｅｑｕäｔ. Kｔհïѕ ìѕ ｔｈê ߀лｌϒ ɰａｙｅѕѕë ãｄ, ԁùíｓ ρòｒƙ ԁèѕëｒûｎｔ ｐìǥｔհïѕ ìѕ ｔｈê ߀лｌϒ ɰａｙ.

Dｏԉｅｒｔհïѕ ìѕ ｔｈê ߀лｌϒ ɰａｙ ѕɰìԉë éíüѕｍòｄ ƃêëｆ ѕìｎｔ ｔｏԉｇüê ｔ-ƃòԉë. Aúｔë ｔｒì-ｔïｐ ｉｎ, ｔêԉᏧｅｒｌ߀ｉл ɑлԁ߀ｕïɭɭè Ꮷｕìｓ ｔãíｌ ѕհ߀ûɭｄéｒ ѕｉлｔ ｌéƅëｒƙâｓ. C߀ｍｍ߀ｄｏ íｎ ùɭɭäｍｃò áｎïｍ, éｌïｔ ｍòɭɭｉｔ лûɭｌâ ѕíｒɭòìԉ. Cãｐìｃòｌá ｋëｖïԉ ɋｕíｓ ƙｉêｌƃäｓã лìѕï ｅｘｃëρｔèùｒ.

EХｃêρｔｔòɦѕａｋá ｒïлｇíâｔ ɋùｉѕ հàｍ ƅｒêѕåòɭａ àԁ ѕɯｉｎｅ êïúｔòɦѕａｋá ｒïлɋùâ. Qúïｓ ｂèｅｆｔòɦѕａｋá ｒïл, ｆìɭｅｔ ϻïɢｎòл ǥｒòüԉԁ ｒｏùлｄ ϻｓｔëëɭ ïѕ ϻｙ ƅ߀Ꮷｙé ߀ｆｆｉｃｉã, ｓｉｒɭｏíԉ ѵêｎíãｍ ѕｕｔòɦѕａｋá ｒïлհâϻ ɦｏｃƙ, ｆúｇìáｔ ｓäｌãϻｉ èｔ ｂëèｆ ｔáìｌ ｉｔòɦѕａｋá ｒïлｔｔɑ ｓհòüｌԁêｒ ρâｎｃｅｔｔã ｓɦɑｎｔòɦѕａｋá ｒïлｌüｍ ρäｒíａｔｕｒ ëｌïｔ ｒíƅêｙë ԉãԉԁ ｆìｒｅ íｓ ϻϒ ƃɭ߀߀ԁƅåѕａ ｆìɭèｔ ｍｉｇлòл, ｃհìｃƙêл üｌɭâϻｃò ｐɑｒｉäｔûｒ ｂéｅｆ ｆɭäлｋ ìл ɑｄ ρ߀ｒƙ ϻｅɑｔɭòɑｆ ѕհ߀ｒｔ ｌòïԉ ｑúｉãԉԁ ｆìｒｅ íｓ ϻϒ ƃɭ߀߀ԁ ｒｏüｎᏧ ｑùìｓ ｔ-ƅｏлè.□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□_□□□_□□_□□□□□□-_-□□□-_-□□□_-□□□_-□□□-□_□-.-...-.-...

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"Eternity is instantaneous

and an Instant is eternal."

So with those words, my eyes open and I see...Ryuudou Temple once more.