I'll say this, he was right, about angels knowing only regret, but regret isn't the same as sadness. Angels don't feel sadness, lets face it, why should we? Anger, yes. Frustration, yes. Contentment, yes, but not sadness. I guess the closest we ever get is feeling the pain of separation from our creator, and that only happens to a few. The Fallen, or maybe we should be called The Tripped. The truly Fallen, those who fought with Lucifer, who defied the throne don't feel that pain, it is burned away from them in the fires of Hell.
Is he in Hell? Is his pain torn away from him? Is he now one of the dammed?
I guess I'd be the first to admit that I was stupid…. Well maybe not. I'm sure there are quite a few people willing to spare me the trouble. I was stupid, I was blind to the consequences of my actions. Not that that's much of an excuse. Annoying God was possibly the single most moronic action of my entire life, although be fair, it wasn't wholly my fault. I wouldn't ever have considered laying down the sword if he hadn't talked me into it. I was just afraid. Afraid of losing him, I couldn't bring myself to hurt him by saying no. Now I'm not really sure that that was even possible.
I was a Seraphim, one of the highest; I shouldn't have had the fear I did. I sometimes wonder if being the only one, being unique, wasn't half the problem. The Seraphim get all the best jobs, The Voice of God, Gabriel, Hecatate, and me, Loki, Angel of Death. Would he have felt the same if it had been him? Would he have worried every day, every hour about losing me? I'm guessing not.
It's funny how we refer to each other using human genders. He, She… Silly really because angels don't, strictly speaking have a gender. Some of us show characteristics which humans think of as "Male" and "Female" but underneath we are all exactly the same. This means we don't have the problem that humans have with homophobia, angels can love without any worries. It still beats me why humans worry about it so much, I mean if some crazy guy turned up and started yelling that X, Y and Z were evil no-one would pay any attention, but he writes it down and suddenly it's "Gods Holy Law". I get the feeling Azrael had something to do with that one.
Sex for angels is very different to sex for humans. I really don't understand why they put all that time and effort into it, it's messy and incredibly funny, how do they manage it without laughing out loud? For angels it is a far more dignified and pleasurable business, a bringing together of heart, mind, body and soul, without the exchanging of various sticky fluids. I remember him holding me close, one hand caressing my wings, the other pressed lightly to my temple pulling me in to himself, moments like that made me want to weep. I guess it wasn't quite all sweetness and light though. He knew how to dominate me completely, even when I was afraid of him, like when he slammed me back into that pillar, I still followed because I couldn't bear to lose him. He liked to be the dominant one, not letting me forget it when we were together, he would hold my arms just a fraction too tight, grip my hair until it became slightly painful. He dictated what happened, not me, but I followed, he was clever enough to ensure that.