Aishiteru

Preface

I flopped down into my chair in Registration on Monday morning. It was cold and hard underneath me. Hear comes another day at this wonderful school I thought to myself quietly. School was the only place where I was free from all my problems but even then school was very difficult. I spent most of the time with my head down trying not to attract attention to myself. I screwed that one up big time when I started going out with Joey. Everyone seems to know now and it makes life so complicated but I have no regrets. I love Joey. She is my rock. She keeps me sane and stops me losing it completely. But it means I have to try harder to hide all my bruises. I know what he doing is wrong but I still don't want to run the risk of someone finding out yet.

As I sat quietly minding my own business I felt a sharp pain hit the back of my head. It felt like a maths textbook at credit level. I knew the feeling of most things that hit me in registration. As I rubbed the back of my teacher gave me a sympathetic look and picked up the book. He never said anything to me about it but often would slip me a small chocolate or a new book or something. I always just sat there thinking I would rather you did something about it.

After registration Joey met me to walk to our first class. We did that everyday. I really hated school but being with Joey made it so much easier. She knew when things got to much for me and just hugged me which would relieve some of my pain until I was alone and could deal with it myself. I was very careful around Joey, I didn't want her to see the bruises or the cuts and scares I had. It would hurt her if she saw it, she wasn't aware of what was going on in my life. I love her and all I want to do is protect her from all the hurt I go through every day.

As we walked to our first class she gently took my hand.

"Hannah, baby, are you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked puzzled.

"You seem more quiet than usual."

How could I tell that I hadn't slept last night out of fear of being hit again. I had been hit about six over the course of the evening because he found out about my cutting and lost it completely. He hit me repeatedly all over my body. My back was almost black and I couldn't twist around in any direction as my chest was very sore. When Joey hugged me I had to stop myself from almost screaming in pain.

"Are you sure your ok" Joey asked again sounding really worried.

"Yes," I told her through very gritted teeth.

PE was our first class, I was so not ready for that. As I surprise the teacher wanted us to play dodge ball. It was just agony. every time I got hit in the chest or back I had to grit my teeth very tightly. Joey was looking very worried very time she saw a ball hit me. She must have thought something serious was wrong but I just smiled through a brave face so she didn't think to much about it. My knee was really swollen from where I was hit with a rolling pin and even through so much effort I couldn't stop myself from eventually limping. My teacher called me to the side to sit down.

By this point my chest felt like it was going to explode and my knee was throbbing more than anything.

"What's wrong Hannah?" My teacher asked a very worried look on her face.

"Nothing Miss," I told her with a very small smile.

"You are chalk white Hannah and clearly in a lot of pain."

"No really I am fine," I tried telling her again.

I tried to stand up but my knee completely collapsed on me this time and I knew I was in for a long day.

"Joey take Hannah at one side and I will get the other. We need to get her to the first aid room," the teacher barked.

They carried me very slowly and gently out of the hall. The force of them hurt my chest and back even more but I didn't want to draw attention to it. It took us five minutes to get there as I couldn't put weight onto my knee.

"What have you done to your knee?" Miss Baird asked again.

"I fell down the stairs last night but didn't want to make a fuss of it," I lied.

"Hannah you should have said something," Joey said almost in tears.

"I didn't want to make a fuss Joey it's nothing really," I said trying to comfort her.

The first aid teacher came in at that point and asked to see my knee. So I pulled my trouser leg feeling relief knowing that my knee was the only injury on that leg.

"No wonder you can't walk," she said sounding shocked. "You have dislocated your knee and it's still dislocated. It's a wonder you got this far."

I looked down at that point and saw my knee. I gasped at the sight of it. It was very swollen and all around it was a deep shade of blue, also my knee cap was twisted around the side.

"I will take her to the hospital if you call her parents," Miss Baird said.

"Sure that makes sense."

"Can I stay with Hannah?" Joey asked.

"Yeah it may keep her relaxed," Miss Baird said.

So with more help I was put into the front side of her car and we drove of to the hospital.

"That must have been a bit of a tumble you took," she said.

"Yeah I wasn't paying attention," I said letting more lies come out of my mouth.

It wasn't a long journey to the hospital and Joey and I waited in the car while Miss Baird got a wheelchair. It wasn't long after we got into the A & E before we got seen as I was in a lot of pain. A nurse came in first and gave me some pain relief and explained that a doctor would be here as soon as possible. When he eventually turned up he explained that I will need an x ray then they will place my kneecap back into place before doing another x ray to check if everything was all right after words. It took a long time and was very painful but eventually everything was better again. They put a brace around my knee and gave me crutches. I was also given painkillers and told to rest my knee as much as possible. When they had been fixing my knee up Miss Baird had gone to phone the school to see where my parents where.

"No one answered any of the calls to any of the numbers the school has so I am going to have to take you back to the school," she explained.

I just nodded knowing that my parents just didn't care.

It took so much effort to get back to car as my back was killing me but at least I could walk now. I had never been on crutches before and was a bit wobbly but I made to the car without a disaster. It took some help but I managed to get in it also. The disadvantage was the brace stopped me bending my knee at all and through the pain I could still couldn't walk on it. On our way back to school Miss Baird spoke again.

"Your year head has arranged for you to sit in his office until we can contact your parents to come and pick you up," she explained.

"Ok," I said looking down at my feet.

I was hoping that it wouldn't be him that picked me up. I had lied my way through it all but I bet he would us it as an excuse by saying I had told them what had really happened. So I just kept my head down until we got back to school. Why did this always happen to me I kept asking myself. We pulled up to the school and Miss Baird dropped me and Joey off at the door and left to park her car. We walked into the school but just before we reached the door Joey bent over and whispered into my ear.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, there's only one way to say this and that's I love you."

I had to turn away from her at that point to hide the tears that where forming in my eyes. No matter what happened I knew Joey would be there but at the same time I just really did not want her to get hurt. When we got into we sat down on the seats in reception and waited for Miss Baird to get back. When she did she took my straight up to my year heads office.

Joey was sent back to class and I was sat down in a seat with an other to hold my leg up.

"You can do whatever you like until we contact your parents," Mr Graham said.

"ok, sir," I replied given a weak smile.

I was fed up of all of this it was just getting to much wasn't there a way to make it stop. Well actually there was but it meant telling someone. I waited patently until Miss Baird left then spoke very quietly.

"Sir, could I speak to Miss Quinn?" I asked feeling my blood run cold.

"Sure," he said starting to look worried.

He disappeared and came back five minutes later with Miss Quinn right behind him. Miss Quinn was my Pupil Support teacher and I thought it may be easier to tell her as she is female. She came in the room and shut the door behind her.

"Hey Hannah, I've heard you've been in the wars," she said giving me a friendly smile. "Would you like it if Mr Graham stayed or do you want it to just be you and myself?"

"Could he leave?" I asked feeling slightly guilty.

"I will be in Mrs Grey's office," he explained. "Just come and get me when your finished.

So he picked up the work from his desk and left the room shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Hannah, what's going on?" She asked. "You have been very distant lately."

"I don't get on with my step-dad," I explained.

"Don't worry about that many people don't get on with there step-parents," she said trying to reassure me.

"No this is different," I said shaking my head. "He hates me, I can't do anything right. If I do wrong he hits me."

"Hannah are you saying he abuses you?" She asked turning white.

"Yes," I said then started crying.

"Did he have anything to do with your knee?"

"Yes."

"Hannah can you tell me what happened?" Miss Quinn asked looking scared.

"He found out that I have been cutting myself he lost his temper and through a rolling pin at me. It hit me in the knee but I couldn't show a reaction or he would just get worse," I explained tears falling freely down my face.

"Has he ever hurt you anywhere else?"

"Yes."

"Sorry Hannah but can you show me?" She asked sounding like she really didn't want to.

So I turned my back to her and showed her my back. I heard her gasp in real shock.

"Stay there Hannah I need to go and speak to Mr Graham and see what he says about this, but in my mind we need to get you out of there as soon as possible its really not safe."

So Miss Quinn left the room and I was left sitting there by myself still crying. I knew I was in fot it now and there was no going back.

About ten minutes after she left Miss Quinn came back with Mr Graham who looked even more worried than she did.

"Hannah, we are going to phone Social Services now, its safe to say you wont be going home tonight," he explained.

I just nodded and looked down at the ground again. It was obvious this was going to happen but it didn't stop it hurting any more than it already did. Miss Quinn came and sat next to me when Mr Graham went to make the phone call in a different room.

"It's ok Hannah, it will turn out ok in the end," she said trying her best to comfort me.

I couldn't look at her I just turned my face away so she wouldn't see the tears that where running down my face. I kept telling myself that I don't cry, that I am not allowed to show any emotion but I just couldn't help it. Everything inside me had built up over the past two years turned to tears and I couldn't stop them.

"You said he hurt your knee because he found out you had been cutting yourself," she asked tentivly.

I still couldn't speak so I just nodded my head. Luckily before she could ask anything else Mr Graham came back into the room.

"I have made the phonecall someone will be here before lunch to speak to you," he explained. "So all you have to do now is wait, is there anything you want?"

I shock my head and pulled my notepad and pen out my bag. I just sat there quietly and drew. After about an hour Mr Graham's phone went off making me jump almost a foot in the air because I had forgotten where I was. He looked up after he came off the phone and smiled.

"They are here," he explained. "I will go downstairs and get them and you can sit in here when you talk."

I nodded and waited patiently for them to come back up. As I sat there the lyrics of my favourite song went through my head.

When your down and lost

And you need a helping hand

When your down and lost along the way

Just tell yourself

Ah I'll be ok

I knew this day was going to change my life drastically.

Chapter One

The door opened again and a young women with short brown hair walked in accompanied by another man. He was a bit taller than her and had dark floppy hair. He couldn't have been any older than his late twenties.

"Hey Hannah," he said given me a smile. "My name is Adam and this is Sophie."

"Hey," I replied.

"You know why we are here don't you?" He asked.

"Yes, because of what I told Miss Quinn," I explained.

"That's right," he said. "Can you tell us what has been happening?"

I explained to them what had been going on. They asked questions through it and Sophie took notes through the whole thing. I felt sick when I told them about some of things that have been happening but I knew these where the right people to help.