Caleb/Susan Fanfiction (based on Divergent by Veronica Roth)
Chapter One
I always expect my street to be silent in the middle of the night, but it is louder now than during the day.
The only sounds echoing in my ears are crickets bleating, the distant roar of a train, and my own footsteps, though I try to keep as quiet as possible. The Abnegation are usually asleep fairly early; it is not likely that they are peering out their windows at one in the morning. Still, I am cautious as I head down the crumbling sidewalk to the Priors' house.
My stomach flutters as I think about Caleb. I will be at his house, in his room, in merely a few minutes.
We were able to meet after our aptitude tests, but only briefly before my brother caught up to us. Caleb managed to invite me over, saying that he had something important to tell me. I am excited but nervous. This is not the first time we've done this, but he has never told me something like that beforehand. It can't be about his test, though. Caleb is more suited for Abnegation than my parents. He is thoroughly selfless.
Unlike his sister, and my brother, who I am sure will transfer factions. Beatrice has always been distant, unhappy with our lifestyle. Robert too. I am not sure what could possess them to want to leave their lives and families behind, but it is not my choice. I can only choose for myself, and I have no choice but Abnegation. It is my home, and always will be.
I reach the Priors' house. Like the rest on our street, and throughout Abnegation's part of the city, it is comprised of rundown gray stone and brick. As silently as possible, I press my back against the rough side of the house and creep around to the back. The yellow light shining through Caleb's window is the only one on the street still illuminated.
The window is not very high; perhaps fifteen feet up. I have never been afraid of heights, not that I've done much climbing. Things of that nature are left to the Dauntless.
There are several conveniently extended bricks along the wall that aid my climb. That is why we always meet at Caleb's house.
When I reach the window, I tap it lightly. Just loud enough for him to hear. A chilly breeze rustles my unshapely gray pajamas as I hear the padding of footsteps, and the glass slides away.
"Hi," says Caleb with a coy smile, the dimples in his cheeks prominent.
"Hi," I echo, suddenly flustered. I am not sure why; it's just Caleb, I remind myself. Your boyfriend.
"Need some help?"
I open my mouth to say no, thank you, but before I can his hands grasp my arms just above my elbows and pull me in through the open window. I guess I am lighter than I thought; I don't get to look in the mirror often.
He pulls me onto his lap, on his bed after moving a stack of books aside to make room. I want to ask him what it was that he had to tell me, but his lips are already pressing against mine and everything else melts away. My hands are twined in his thick, short dark hair and his are on my waist and I can only think of Caleb and how much I love him.
A light knock on the door startles us both away from each other. Panic pulses through me; we have never been caught before, and I do not intend to get caught now.
"Caleb?" It is his mother.
I look at Caleb, whose eyes are wide. He shakes his head, recovering from shock, and points to the closet across the room. "Hide in there," he whispers.
I scramble off of his lap and tiptoe to the closet, which holds only six items of standard, Abnegation-gray clothing. Caleb shuts the door, enclosing me in almost complete darkness; there is a small gap in the doorframe which provides a view into his room.
"Come in," Caleb says, not the least bit shaken. He could never be Candor.
What is Mrs. Prior doing talking to him at one in the morning? I wonder, watching her tentatively step into his room, taking a seat in his desk chair. Caleb is seated on his bed.
"Is everything all right?" He asks.
"Not exactly," she says seriously.
Mrs. Prior reaches over and grabs hold of Caleb's hands, staring earnestly into his green eyes that he inherited from her. "You cannot choose Abnegation tomorrow."
"But I can't leave you and Dad and Beatrice," he protests immediately. "And—"
Mrs. Prior's eyebrows furrow. "Who else?"
Caleb casts a glance at the closet. "No one."
"This is very important, Caleb. You have to make this sacrifice."
"A sacrifice for what?"
"For the city, for Abnegation." Mrs. Prior is adamant, but quieter than before. I have to strain to make out what she is saying. "I can't tell you everything, but something big is going on. Something bigger than Choosing Day."
"Does this have to do with those reports the Erudite are printing?" Caleb asks.
"Those reports are only the beginning," she says gravely.
"Can you tell me anything else?"
"Only which faction you need to choose."
There is a brief pause. Perhaps Caleb is already anticipating her answer. "Which one?"
"Erudite."
Caleb's eyes widen, and he stutters, unable to respond.
My mind struggles to process all that I am hearing. He has to choose Erudite tomorrow?
Mrs. Prior sighs. "You cannot speak of this to anyone." He nods. "But we need . . . someone like a spy."
"Why does it have to be me?" Caleb asks. "Why not use someone who actually wants to switch to Erudite?"
"Your father has a government position," Mrs. Prior explained. "It will be easier for us to contact you than any other Abnegation family. Besides, no one is supposed to know about this."
Caleb is silent for a moment, taking this in. I wonder if they can hear my pounding heartbeat. Is Erudite preparing to attack our faction? Abnegation is completely defenseless; we aren't Dauntless, who are probably eagerly anticipating a battle.
"Can you tell me anything else?" Caleb asks finally. His mother shakes her head.
My chest is heavy. Mrs. Prior cannot control him completely; he still has the option to override her decision and remain in Abnegation. But he won't. He is too loyal for that, too obedient. Too selfless.
"Besides," she says, "You'll be happy there. I know your aptitude test doesn't determine everything, but it determines some things."
"Mom," Caleb says, his voice choked. "I don't want to leave."
The corner of her mouth curls into a sad smile. "I know. But you'll be glad you did." She leans over, kisses his forehead, and heads for the hall. She pauses in the doorway, turns and says, "Trust me. And get some sleep."
I wait until I hear the door's lock click shut and Mrs. Prior's footsteps returning to her room down the hall. Then I consider stepping into Caleb's room, but I am paralyzed with shock.
After a few moments of silence, broken only by Caleb's heavy breathing, the closet door creaks open. I blink, trying to adjust my eyes to the light. When they do, and I see him, the backs of my eyes burn with tears.
I have always known that, in Abnegation, it is wrong to indulge in fantasies. Yet I often let my mind drift to the future, where I imagined Caleb and I growing closer during the Abnegation initiation process, marrying in a small ceremony attended by our families and a few friends like Marcus Eaton, perhaps, and raising children the same way we were brought up. Now everything is tainted with Erudite blue.
Caleb swings open the closet door and wraps his arms around me, a gesture I used to find comforting. But now it feels too much like goodbye, and I do not want to say goodbye to Caleb, not now, not ever.
He squeezes me tightly, and I rest my cheek on his worn gray t-shirt.
"This doesn't have to change anything," he says quietly.
"It changes everything," I manage, though my words sound choked.
"Look at me," Caleb says, and he backs away, cupping my face with his hands. I try to avoid looking him in the eyes, the same green as his mother's, but there seems to be a magnetic pull drawing my gaze to them. "I have to do this, because my mother needs me to. Abnegation needs me too. Faction before blood, remember?" He laughs weakly, humorlessly. "But as soon as this is over, I will come back."
You can't transfer factions after Choosing Day, I want to reply, then realize that Abnegation will probably take him back. He is a Prior, after all.
I take a deep breath, struggling to calm my nerves. His words echo through my brain. As soon as this is over, I will come back. As soon as what is over, though? A war? There has always been tension between our faction and Erudite, but it could never escalate to that.
"Susan," he says gently, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Promise me," I beg. "Promise you'll come back."
He doesn't hesitate. "I promise."
"I love you, Caleb," I say, worried that this will be the last time I speak those words.
He kisses me then, harder than usual, and again I want to cry. How long will it be, I wonder, before this happens again?
When I finally pull away, breathing hard, he whispers, "I love you too."