Hi

After the start of the new season, I participated in a discussion about Sam, Dean, seals and stuff. And since there are very different opinions out there about the behaviour of Dean during Bobbys "chew-out" (while possessed) and the little fact that no one knows for sure if Sam knows about Dean being the one to break the FIRST seal...well. I just thought this would be an interesting ( meaning: I wanna see them ACT like that!)way for them to come clean, the plotbunny bared its fangs. And got me good...

So. Anyway.

Here we go. This is set in season5, not too far in the future.

Spoiler: Well, yeah. Set in season 5, so...

Disclaimer: Nope. Nothing. Don't own anything in here - just the barn and the car.

Warning: Oh yes! The cuss a lot, using the f-word mostly. No. Not 'fudge'...

„What do you want here?"

Well, that certainly wasn't what Sam expected. He had somehow convinced himself that Dean would be happy to see him – considering he had just offed the spirit that had been throwing the older man against a wall. Now they were panting from the exercise, each with a wary look in the face.

"I don't know – a "thank you" might be a good start, though." Sam held out his hand to help his brother up, but Dean just ignored it and pushed himself from the floor, supressing a groan when he straightened his back.

"Thank you, then. Satisfied? Now go away."

"What?"

"Are you deaf all of a sudden? I said 'go away'." Sam stared.

"No. I don't wanna go. I'll stay – I want to help."

"You can't help. Now fuck off."

"What kind of thing crawled up your ass? You need every help you can get – and you should be…"

"What? Grateful? I should kiss your feet that you decided to assist me in this matter – whatever this matter is? Is that it? Because then you came for nothing – I don't kiss anybodys feet. Or ass, come to that." Sam stared some more. Unbelievable.

"Dean…"

"Don't 'Dean' me! I don't need your help, now leave and get on with your life. Shoo, there's a good boy." And he actually, unbelievably waved Sam in the direction of the door of the old barn, where the ghost had wrecked havoc the last twenty years. Dean waved Sam away like he would wave at a wayward chicken – and Sam was pissed.

"Are you nuts? You don't need help??? You need every fucking bit of help you can get, you arrogant bastard! Just because you're this special vessel now? Because you're this magnificent weapon all of a sudden – now you don't need any help anymore? This, this… that… I can't…"

"Yeah, right! I'm special, I can handle things alone. Now go – before I smite your ass!" Dean pushed his shoulder but Sam didn't budge, yelled at his brother.

"No!. I'm not leaving. You can push me all you want, but I messed this up – I unleashed the Apokalypse and now I need to help set it right."

Dean was still pushing and his voice was hard and cold when he answered.

"You didn't. You didn't unleash the Apokalypse. See? Not your doing – now go the Hell away!"

"What do you mean?" Sam stared at the man in front of him, not really understanding and not really sure he knew him anymore. Dean looked… cold. Hard. Not like before, when he had kept his feelings inside, but worse. Now he looked as if he'd never had any feelings. None at all. "What do you mean? I mean… I saw – you saw me unleashing Lucifer. It was me doing that – no one else. So what do you… NO! Don't you dare turn your back at me! Look me in the eyes, you ass and tell me the fuck what you mean!" He grabbed his brothers shoulder and tried to turn him around, but before he could manage, Dean had twisted out of his grasp, taken three steps away and looked at him. Looked him square in the eyes. And he told him.

"Well, you broke the last seal. That much is true. But hey… guess who broke the first!" and he indicated himself in the mocking, oh-so-familiar manner he always had when he tried to ridicule serious situations. Sam stared some more – this was gonna be the day his eyes fell out of their sockets.

"What? How? When?" He would have wished to have some more capability of expressing himself, but in the end, that was exactly what he needed to know.

"'And it is written – the first seal shall break when the rightous" here he scoffed "man sheds blood in Hell' See? I did that. I broke the first seal – I started it. Now go."

Dean turned around and started to assemble his weapons, Sam clearly ignored and dismissed. But he didn't want to be dismissed. No way!

"Excuse me? You … you let me believe that I alone am responsible for starting the end of the world?"

"Yepp" the single sound was crueler than anything he ever heard before.

"You…you let… you let Bobby chew me a new one, standing by and saying nothing, just … just … I can't believe that! That is…"

"Bobby was possessed."

"And you fucking knew that, right???" Now Sam was more than pissed – he was furious. And when Dean still didn't bother to look at him, still didn't acknowledge his anger, he snapped. Like a whirlwind he was by him, grabbed his shirt and pushed him bodily across the room, against the wall.

"You fucking hypocrite!!! You tell me about guilt and let me wallow in self-pity and all the while you sit by and let me feel miserable – and you knew, you knew that I wasn't the only one to blame. I know you had probably no choice in breaking, but you damn well had a choice in telling! So why – why the fuck didn't you?? Why didn't you tell me? Why… why?" He was furious and his anger burned hot and hard and he was right, he had every right to be mad as hell, but because he was he missed the flicker of panic when he had his brother pinned, when he grabbed his wrists to prevent him from breaking the hold he had on him. He missed it and when he was able to look again, it was gone and Dean just hissed.

"Let go. ..Go! Now Sam!"

"No. No I won't! You tell me why and I might… I might consider it. But no – I wanna hear your excuse, your reason" his voice was acid "for betraying me like that. For making me feel like that on purpose. So tell me" he pushed Dean again, his face just inches from his brothers, his powerful hands wrapped around the wrists. He never saw the headbutt coming and it nearly broke his nose, when Deans forehead hit. Blood spurted from his nostrils and the pain was so hot, cold, hard and excruciating, he couldn't see. Tears spilled from his eyes and everything blurred for a second, but it was enough for the older brother to break free and reverse the situation.

"Cause I wanted you to!" he yelld, pushing Sam, taking all his anger, his fury and wrath. And now it was Sam who was against the wall, Sam who felt the hot breath in his face, the forearm across his throat. "Because I wanted you to feel miserable and guilty and shitty. I wanted to hurt you, to punish you. To feel like shit, like the shittiest piece of shit ever! To make you miserable and… and… and to hurt you!" His fist was raised, ready to his blurrry vision he could see it poised and he saw the effort it took to keep it raised, to stop it from meeting his face, from smashing his teeth. There was only wrath in his brothers eyes, just anger and the will to cause pain. He had never seen him like that. Never. But now… now he could imagine the unimaginable. Now he could actually see Dean in front of a torture-rack, opening flesh, cutting, ripping and breaking soul after soul. Not even the black emptiness in the eyes of the possessed held as much horror as his brothers blazing green eyes held right now.

"Dean…"

"SHUT UP!" and the fist stroke.

It was so fast, even if Sam could have deemed his brother, his friend and protector throughout all his life capable of hurting him, even then he wouldn't have been able to move away. In the split second it took for the fist to reach his face, his cheekbone or his jaw, Sam brazed for the pain he knew was inevitable. He heard the terrible crunch of the impact and for another split second he wondered how long it would take his brain to recognize the pain, or if he would just drop unconcious instantly. But nothing happened and then his brain caught up again and he knew that the fist had met the wall instead, just inches from his left ear.

"That's what you wanted to hear, right?" Deans voice had lost the volume, was just a sharp hiss, so close that Sam felt the spit at his skin. The burning fury was gone, replaced by cold indifference. Dean pushed himself off the younger.

"Now you know – now fuck off. You have no business with me."

Sam swiped at his face to get rid of the spittle, stunned. He opened his mouth to say something – anything.

"FUCK OFF!

And he did.