Disclaimer: The characters and setting are not mine. Only the plot is mine
I have never made an Angsty story before, so I hope that it is ok.
It was night and almost everyone was asleep. It was a full moon, and only just bright enough to read without a light. Draco was sure that he was the only one awake, and he took advantage of that. He was sitting near a windowsill and was thinking. He had a book with him in case anyone was awake, and they asked him what he was doing. Regardless of all of that, Draco spent the night doing nothing but thinking. He had so many things to think about.
Just the night before, snatchers found "the golden trio" and brought them to the manor. He thought about how he was forced to identify them. Obviously he didn't. He wondered how he got into this situation. He was a Death Eater that didn't believe in the mark on his arm. He didn't believe in what the Dark Lord thought, and he didn't rat out the trio, even though he knew it was them. Draco still couldn't figure out why. Why did he care so much. Why didn't he just do what was expected of him. Why wasn't he the perfect son his father wanted.
He knew all of the reasons for that. He didn't know when, or how it happened, he just knew that it did. Somewhere along the road. He had fallen in love with Hermione Granger. He had fallen in love with her bushy hair, her know it all attitude, her laugh. He had fallen in love with every part of her, even though everyone he knew hated her with every fiber of their being. That was why he said that he didn't recognize them. That was why he wasn't the person everyone though he was.
He wanted to be with her. Helping her in every way possible. He wanted to fight with her. He wanted to be anywhere else, except where he was at that moment. Still, things happen. His life was so messed up, that his dreams weren't even an option. he would have to be content to helping her in little ways. Not that he helped her in anyway.
He thought about what else had happened that day. The tree of them got caught anyway, and she got tortured. His own aunt used a cursed knife and wrote the word mudblood into her arm. She screamed in pain, and all he could do was watch and try not to run towards her and help her. He literally broke watching the person he loved, get tortured by his aunt. In the end, her and her friends escaped with an elf. An elf that used to belong to his family. All of a sudden, he liked that elf better, for helping her. She got away with her aunt's wand, so maybe they could do something. The damage was done, but they made it out alive. Maybe they could still win the war.
Of course, it didn't matter who won the war, because either way, he was trapped. If the light won, he would be put into Azkaban for being a Death Eater. If the dark won, his love would be dead, and he would be forever trapped in a world he never wanted. He really didn't care anymore. She would never know that he loved her, and even if she ever did find out, she would never believe it.
Why would she believe it after all those years of taunting and name calling? It hurt him to think of the number of times he made her cry, all in the name of keeping up pretenses so no one figured out. He threatened her, and called her mudblood, and hurt her in so many ways. She would never forgive him. He was probably the devil in her book. There was truly no hope for him. All that mattered anymore was that she was alive and well. What else was his point in life?
However, she would never be alive and well. Even if the light won the war, she would have that scar forever. It would haunt her. She would never be well. Stupid Hermione. If only she had stayed away. Instead she got herself on a bloody quest with Potter and the Weasel. Potter, being the self righteous and overly brave person that he was, said the Dark Lord's name. This got all of them captured. Either she should have gotten better friends, or she should have stayed away. She did neither of those things. Instead, she acted like the bloody Gryffindor that she was, and went along on that quest. Draco knew that he was the one at fault, but he wished that she would be a little more careful. After all, she was the only hope in life that he had left.
Overall, he managed to get out of trouble for his lie. he simply said that their faces were too ravaged from wounds for him to recognize them. People were wary, but he was ok. He could manage a few stares in the halls. He had gotten much worse from others. He had excuses and was a good enough Occlumens that nobody would know about his love and the things he did. Now all he could hope was that she was ok too.
By now, he thought that he did everything for her, because there was no other possible reason to do the things that he did. No, the other possible reason was to hide the fact that he ever loved her. He said that he didn't recognize them to protect her, but he didn't help as she got tortured to protect his own secret. He was a coward and he knew it. It was going to be the ruin of him. Nobody loves a coward.
With that, he put everything away, and went to his disturbed sleep, all while dreaming of her.
