The clouds were a weeping thicket of gray flowers, tears softly crawling down the sky's face like a mournful tune. Each and every ugly little drop of water mocked her, scorned her, and wrenched the ground from beneath her feet, cackling at every failed attempt she made at standing up.
At least, that's what it seemed like to Cuddy. The wicked rain whispered to her of her insanity. It whispered of love and her inability to capture its essence within her wounded hands. The rain haunted her just as he did. The drops muttered in low voices of her deterioration, sparking the painful memories of her grim hallucinations.
Drop.
Without her permission, he pressed his lips to hers with an urgency she didn't know he possessed. Her lips were closed at first, unbelieving of his actions. She didn't deserve this. She was hallucinating, she was sure, but the softness of his love-laced lips kidnapped her reason and within moments she found herself giving in to the very thing she knew would end badly. The kiss she had chased after for so long was finally hers. And his. It was theirs and she found herself smiling as she came into the revelation. They parted reluctantly, their need for oxygen evident with their labored breaths.
"I…I love you, House." She whispered.
But he had already twisted into nothing, like she knew he would. She knew he would, yet the tears still slithered down her cheeks. One by one.
Drop.
House was there again. She braced herself. What phantom had her mind conjured up for her this time? She hoped it was the one that loved her.
Or at least pretended to.
She studied the icy drops that were his eyes, hoping to discover the truth behind her inquiries, but found nothing. Nothing but a cold and calculating stare that gripped her attention a little too tightly.
He limped slowly to her, the dull thud of cane to floor resonating uncommonly loud in her office's interior. His rigid fingers caressed her cheek with tenderness and intimacy of a true lover.
Cuddy fought back wistful tears. She'd had this hallucination before and she knew exactly what would happen, but the only way to make him curl into smoke and float away was to give in and go through with it anyway. She blinked and lifted a quivering hand to cover his own.
"I love you." She managed to murmur.
The caressing fingers dug into her skin with a sudden anger, the hand whipping back and striking her with such a force it sent her diving into the ground. Trembling, she moved to wipe the small trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth.
It burned.
"You're pathetic!" He spat with malice.
She didn't cry, though. Crying was even more pathetic. He would strike her again.
Twice as hard.
So she cried on the inside, her dry eyes finding his. The drops of ice that were his eyes melted into silver wisps.
Drop.
House's lips had found another's once more- Stacy's- Not hers.
They were right in front of her making out like a couple of horny teenagers, moans and whimpers escaping their throats as the ante was upped little by little. And Cuddy had to stand there and take it, unable to runaway to some corner of the room and sob about her inability to love. Their images wouldn't fade until one of them had an orgasm and both of them could go on for a while.
The clothes were starting to shed.
Cuddy watched with tear-threaded eyes as her love made love to another.
Drop.
The kiss.
Drop.
The slap.
Drop.
The affair.
Drop. Drop. The kiss, the slap. Drop. The affair.
The rain chanted the words like a damned tribal dance complete with the thunder as the tribal drums.
Drop. Drop. Drop. The kiss, the slap, the affair. Drop. The kiss. Drop. Drop. The slap, the affair. Drop. The kiss. Drop. The slap. Drop. The-
"Stop!" She shrieked.
Drop. The kiss. Drop. The slap. Drop. The affair.
"Please!" She begged, desperate tears streaking her face in black rivers. The rain answered with an explosion of thunder that seemed to shake the hospital.
Drop. Drop. Drop. The kiss, the slap, the affair. Drop. Slap. Drop. Kiss. Drop. Affair.
Her voice was drowned in tears, choking in dying gasps.
Drop. Kiss, slap, affair. Drop. Drop.
"Why…" She whispered.
The kiss, the slap, the affair. Drop. Drop. Drop.
With violent urgency, she searched her desk drawer for the only thing she knew would smother the rain's painful accusations.
The blade.
She speared her ribs in vengeance, crying out in pain as crimson gushed from the fresh wound.
Drop. The kiss. Drop. The slap….
She drove the steel in further, savoring the refuge the pain provided from the merciless rain. She ripped the knife out and started a new wound, a new shield.
Drop. The affair…
The taunting seemed heavy as though the whispers came from underwater. In her bloody haze, she conjured up House's image.
"Don't…" She choked.
Don't abandon me.
Don't hurt me.
Don't leave me for her.
I love you.
The words never sifted through her lips nor reached his imagined ears. He dissolved into the carpet while she collapsed to the floor, blood pooling quickly from her accumulating gashes. The rain surged and pulsed with a rhythm alike to her slowing heartbeat.
Drop. The kiss. Drop. The-
KNOCK KNOCK!
An unhallucinated House limped in without waiting for an answer.
"Hey Cuddles I- CUDDY!" He burst, rushing over half-limp, half-sprint to her blood-splashed form.
She averted her silver blue eyes, refusing to meet the gaze that had spurned her one time too many.
Drop. The slap. Drop. The affair. Drop. Drop. Drop.
His icy gaze went from the knife in her grip to the free-flowing gashes that blazed across her skin.
"I need a nurse in here!" House shouted, holding her wrist to check her pulse. The blood was spurting faster than the rain was whispering.
She was lost in the sea of blood and the mockery of the rain when she began to loosen her grasp on reality. She was slipping.
"I love…" She struggled to form the words that had been locked in her heart, locked in her mind for so long, but House wasn't listening anyway. She completely missed the slam of her door colliding with the wall as it was torn open to make room for a gurney. The only feeling, the only sense that seemed to register was his hand leaving hers.
The drops of ice that were his eyes pierced her skin as she was loaded onto the gurney.
You're pathetic, They seemed to whisper.
And that hurt more than any wound she could inflict upon herself.
Hmm....I might add chapters to this....Well, review,please- I live on reviews! Don't let met starve!!