Notes: I dunno where this came from. So blame Code Geass's 5 AM timeslot if it sucks. Because even this is bound to be better than that. Hopefully, this will tide you over while I work on the next chapter of "Of Monsters and Men." Inventing a Geass is harder than I thought.

Warning: You name it, this story may have it. Which means it includes, but is not limited to: implied incest, girls magically becoming lesbians, douchebags magically becoming hotties, and bondage.

Summary: In which Lelouch becomes a faith healer, and then promptly loses his religion, among other things.

All Ye Faithful

A Code Geass Oneshot by

Nate Grey (xman0123-at-aol-dot-com)

It all began when Nunnally knocked over the syrup at breakfast.

She didn't mean to, of course, and she never did.

But Lelouch had had enough of going through life with the constant reminders that his darling, precious, adorable little sister couldn't see or walk.

So, without thinking, he lurched across the table, grasped Nunnally's head in both his hands, and shouted, "I COMMAND YOU TO RISE UP, SEE THE LIGHT, AND WALK! BEGONE, FOUL DEMONS! YOU SHALL NO LONGER TAINT THIS PURE SOUL! REPENT AND-!"

"Lelouch?" Nunnally asked, sounding close to tears. "Why are you shouting at me? Did I break something?"

He immediately wrapped his arms around his sister and hugged her firmly, brushing a kiss against her forehead. "No, Nunnally, it's alright. I was just... trying something I saw on T.V. the other day."

"Oh," Nunnally said slowly, frowning a little as she leaned against him. "Well, it was scary. I wish you wouldn't do it anymore."

"I won't," Lelouch promised, frowning himself. It was unfortunate, he thought, that Nunnally never opened her eyes anymore. Not only were they quite nice, but there was a chance, however slim, that his Geass might have been able to restore her sight. Still, that sounded more like a modern miracle than a Geass command, so it was most likely beyond his capabilities. For the first time, he wondered if he could talk C.C. into making a contract with Nunnally, or if there were certain restrictions against such a thing.

"Lelouch?" Nunnally asked suddenly, her hands patting his chest in a rather curious manner.

He blinked, his gaze following her hands. "Yes?"

"You're not eating enough," Nunnally said, rather bluntly, all things considered. "You should eat more meat."

Lelouch stared at her, certain that he'd heard wrong. "Ah. Okay."

"And you really should exercise," Nunnally added, her hands moving up to his arm. "I'm amazed you can lift me at all with an arm like this."

"Nunnally," Lelouch murmured, more than a little shocked to realize that her words actually hurt him, "that was uncalled for."

"I'm not trying to be mean," Nunnally insisted at once. "But I'm worried about you. You're nowhere near as healthy as you should be. If I sound mean, it's because I love you so much. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes," he responded, "but still-"

"Because I do love you, Lelouch. So much." She reached up and gently cupped his face in her hands. "So, so much."

Lelouch swallowed hard, feeling very awkward, which confused him. Nunnally was rarely this affectionate, but even when she was, it never bothered him the way it did now. He couldn't explain it, but this just felt... wrong, somehow. And that worried him. C.C. had said that Geass would make him lonely, and force him to distance himself. But this didn't feel like the work of Geass. At least, if it was, he hadn't expected the side effects to kick in so soon. He hadn't even had the power for a month yet.

"I love you, too, Nunnally," he answered at last, drawing her into another hug.

"Can I have a kiss?" she asked when he let go, sounding more innocent than she ever had before.

"Of course," Lelouch replied, leaning in to grant her request.

He knew that Nunnally couldn't actually see. For one thing, her eyes were closed, and more importantly, she WAS blind.

Or she HAD been. Because nothing else could quite explain the way Nunnally moved her head at the last possible second, so that instead of kissing her cheek, Lelouch's lips met hers. He was able to stop himself before it became a full kiss, but that hardly mattered.

Partially because the guilt was still there, but mostly because Nunnally practically threw herself at him, mashing her lips into his with all the gentleness of an attacking teddy bear. He was so startled that two or three seconds passed before he pulled his head back.

"Nunnally, what-"

"I love you, Lelouch," she said softly. "And I want to have your babies."

The blood drained out of his face. "Nunnally," he whispered.

"I know I can't," she finally added, burying her face against his chest. "But I... I've felt this way for a while now, and I had to tell you. I'm sorry. I just couldn't take it anymore. Please don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you, Nunnally," Lelouch assured her, stroking her hair. "But you know... THAT... could never happen."

"Yes," Nunnally whispered. "But I wanted it, anyway. I'm in love with you. Is that... wrong? To feel this way about you? I've tried to stop, but I can't help it."

"This will be our secret," he stated, holding her close. "I'll always love you, but never in that way." For the first time in his life, Lelouch was glad he'd gone through something similar with Euphemia years ago. At least Nunnally hadn't tried to sneak into his bed, although maybe that was more due to a problem with mobility.

"We'll be late for class," Nunnally said abruptly. "And you've had fourteen unexcused absences already this month."

"How do you know that?" Lelouch asked sharply.

"I... don't know," Nunnally admitted hesitantly. "It just seemed right to me."

With suspicion growing in his mind, Lelouch backed away a few steps. "Nunnally," he said, holding up eight fingers, "how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Eight," she said at once. "Now two. Four! And... thirty-four!"

Lelouch stared at her dumbly, slowly lowering his trembling hands. She'd been right every time. Which could only mean one thing. "You can... see?"

She frowned. "But I didn't open my eyes..."

"But you CAN see," Lelouch insisted, a little desperately, as he knelt beside her, waving his hand in front of her face.

Nunnally immediately clasped his hand in both of hers. "But I don't know how I'm doing it!"

"Does it matter?" Lelouch asked incredulously, throwing his arms around her. "You've seen... the... light," he murmured, his eyes widening as his jaw dropped. He nearly jumped in shock when Nunnally gently closed his mouth for him.

"I guess I can," she whispered uncertainly.

Suddenly inspired, Lelouch grabbed her hands. "Walk with me, Nunnally."

"What? Lelouch, that isn't funny. You know I can't-"

"Nunnally," he said softly, squeezing her hands. "Just try. For me?" He even pouted a little, knowing she could see it now.

"Oh, fine! But you'd better not let me fall!" She wrapped her arms around his neck, and Lelouch carefully seized her waist and lifted Nunnally out of her wheelchair. He had second thoughts when he saw her legs dangling uselessly, but one of them had to have faith or they might never try again.

It was at that moment when Sayoko entered the room, carrying their schoolbags. When her eyes landed on the sight before her, she stumbled in shock, banging the breakfast table with her hip and upsetting the syrup (again).

Suddenly Lelouch was no longer holding Nunnally, because she was behind him, her hand outstretched as she caught the syrup bottle before it hit the floor. She was soon lifted off of her surprisingly steady feet as Lelouch hugged her from behind, spinning her around before she demanded to be put down. Then they both looked at each other (as much as Nunnally could, at least), started laughing, and fell into each other's arms.

Sayoko blinked, rubbing her bruised hip in wonder. She eyed the syrup bottle suspiciously, and then was pulled into the hug largely against her wishes.

The Lamperouge siblings were mobbed the moment they set foot inside the classroom, partially because Lelouch was actually smiling, but mostly because Nunnally was successfully setting her feet at all.

"Nunna, you're walking!" Shirley shrieked, nearly bowling Nunnally over with an enthusiastic hug.

"Yes, and I'd like to keep doing it," Nunnally gasped, prying Shirley's hands away from her neck. "Breathing, too."

"How did this happen?" Milly asked, taking Nunnally's hands in hers.

"Lelouch healed me," Nunnally said, giving Lelouch what most people assumed would be a look of pure adoration, had her eyes been open.

"Like those old guys on T.V. do?" Rivalz asked skeptically. "But that stuff never works!"

"Go on, show him, Lelouch!" Nunnally insisted, tugging on her brother's arm.

"Uh, okay," Lelouch agreed. He narrowed his eyes and placed a hand on either side of Rivalz's head. "I COMMAND YOU TO STOP BEING A DOUCHEBAG! REPENT AND BE CLEANSED!"

Rivalz glared at him and smacked Lelouch's hand away. "You jerk!" He immediately decked Lelouch and grabbed his collar, tossing him headfirst over a nearby desk.

"LULU!" Shirley cried, rushing to his side.

Milly watched with wide eyes. "Oh my goodness, he really IS a healer!"

"The hell he is!" Rivalz snapped, whirling on her.

"But he is," Milly insisted. "I mean, after that display, you're definitely NOT a douchebag... anymore. In fact, you're almost starting to look HOT."

Rivalz froze. "Wha... really?!"

"Mmmhmm," Milly agreed, eyeing him suggestively.

"Oh, wow! Thanks, Lelouch!" Rivalz shouted as Shirley helped Lelouch back up. "Uh, sorry about throwing you like that..."

"No problem," Lelouch replied, sighing as Shirley fussed with his hair. With a frown, he turned to her and grasped her head. "I COMMAND YOU TO GIVE YOUR LOVE TO THE ONE WHO NEEDS IT MOST!"

Shirley stared at him like he was crazy, then wandered toward the corner of the classroom, where Nina was quietly writing in her diary... at least, until Shirley took it and suggestively dropped it down the front of her uniform.

"Why did you do that?" Milly demanded angrily. "Shirley loves you, Lelouch!"

"Doesn't look that way to me," Lelouch commented as Shirley straddled Nina's lap and took off her glasses, leaving the poor girl stunned, red-faced, half-blind, and completely at her mercy. "At least she actually has a chance with Nina. And is it really so bad? Now Nina will be far too busy to do..."

"What?"

"Whatever introverted girls like her grow up to do! I don't know, blow up half of the countryside? I don't actually pay attention to her most of the time, but I do know I'm doing her, and more importantly myself, a favor."

"It was kind of mean, Lelouch," Nunnally added. "But I guess since you did put them together, it isn't so bad."

"Yeah, and if you wanted to do it again," Rivalz chimed in, moving a bit closer to Milly, "that'd be okay..."

Shrugging, Lelouch grabbed Milly's head. "I RELEASE YOU FROM THE DEMONS OF INHIBITION! EXPOSE YOUR TRUE SELF TO THE WORLD!"

Milly glared at him. "Are you trying to get me to strip?!"

Lelouch blinked and dropped his hands. "Huh."

"What? WHAT?!" Rivalz cried desperately.

"Didn't work," Lelouch replied simply. "Apparently, some things are even beyond the scope of miracles."

Rivalz glared at him. "Dude, you suck again."

After the failed attempt with Milly, it occurred to Lelouch that maybe his power needed time to recharge. So from then on, he declared that there would be no more miracles for the day. His friends were understandably disappointed (Rivalz more than anyone else), although Shirley and Nina didn't seem to mind. They were too busy making out.

"Maybe you just need to wait a little while," Nunnally suggested at lunch. "What if some miracles take longer than others to happen? They are miracles, after all. If they all came at once, we'd just call them coincidences or good luck, right?"

Lelouch was forced to agree. It was probably just beginner's luck that he'd managed so much in one day. Maybe he needed to pace himself, especially if the power's efficiency was going to suffer.

But the power may not have been the only thing suffering. Because just as Lelouch finished what he had thought was a standard bottled water, he felt woozy, and passed out immediately.

It was the scream that woke him up. It sounded less like pain, and more like pleasure so great that the mind simply couldn't deal with it any other way.

This did little to comfort Lelouch, especially when he realized that his hands and feet were bound, and something was blocking his vision.

"That was very good, Sayoko," said a familiar voice somewhere in front of him. "Next time, we'll try it without the butter."

"Milly?!" Lelouch shouted, struggling as best he could to get free. "What's going on?!"

"Careful, Lelouch. Wiggle too much and you'll hit your fellow hostages. Go on, tell him who you are. You have my permission."

"L-Lelouch," Nunnally whimpered from right beside him, "Milly's scaring me. She tied us up and won't let us talk!"

"I'm sure this is all your fault, Lelouch," C.C. sighed from the other side of him, sounding strangely resigned to their collective fate.

Lelouch quickly realized what had happened. "You really did lose your inhibitions, Milly."

"And I have you to thank for it, Lelouch. And I do intend to thank you. Repeatedly."

Lelouch grunted as Milly's weight suddenly landed on his chest.

"But first, you need to be in the mood. So I've arranged for a little mood music."

Milly moved off of him, and then there was a long pause. Suddenly, Nunnally squealed and bumped Lelouch hard with her shoulder. "Milly, please don't! That feels really cold!"

"I know, sweetie," Milly cooed soothingly. "But I promise that pretty soon, you won't even feel the cold. That's the great thing about ice: it melts. Fast. Especially if I hold it in my mouth while I do this."

"AH! Milly, stop!" Nunnally pleaded. "Please! You OOOOHHHhhh..."

Milly giggled. "That's my good girl, Nunnally. Just lay back and enjoy..."

His face bright red, Lelouch rolled against C.C. as subtly as he could. "Can you reach my ropes?" he whispered.

"Yes," she replied simply.

"Good! Once you get me free, I'll restrain Milly, and then-"

"You only asked if I could reach your ropes," C.C. interrupted. "But I never said that I would."

Lelouch froze in shock at her betrayal. "But... C.C., why?"

"Honestly? I'm curious to see what she does to you. And I don't want to miss my turn, either."

The End.

Endnotes:

In case anyone is confused: Lelouch commanded Nunnally to see the light, and to become an untainted, pure soul. This manifests itself in two ways: allowing Nunnally to see without opening her eyes, and making her randomly tell the truth at the most inappropriate moments (okay, that's more me than anything else).

Okay, confession time. I haven't actually watched Code Geass at 5 AM for nearly a month. I've been far too busy enjoying it Fridays at 6 PM, online! So I hope that Adult Swim has some way of keeping track of their video site hits, and that it's just as important as ratings, because they've effectively killed any chance of Code Geass ever seeing good marks in that category. But I am glad to see that they went right into R2 with no waiting. Bunny Suit Kallen for the masses (well, for those with decent computers and alarms set for 5 AM, anyway)!