Is there life out there
by Diane Kelley
Ruby-toned eyes peered out the window of the new Seventh Heaven as the dark-haired barkeep listened to the sounds of the spikey-haired lbond and the younger brunette she'd adopted snoring in peaceful, contented slumber. Tifa, however, was wide awake. Her mind was too awash in thought to even think of sleep as she stared at the ring on her finger. Cloud had finally consented to marrying her, making an honest family out of herself and him and Denzel.
She married when she was twenty
She thought she was ready
Now she's not so sure
All of the adventures she'd had, and now she was not much more than a glorified housewife, keeping the bar and their small apartment neat and tidy, serving the customers. But was she really happy? Or was there more out there for her?
She thought she'd done some living
But now she's just wonderin
What she's living for
Now she's feeling that there's something more.
She had watched her two most loyal customers, Reno and Rude, leave at closing, watching the slender redhead drape his arm over the stockier man's back in the way Cloud had once done with her. When she'd seen it, she'd let a soft, wistful and slightly sad smile touch her lips.
Is there life out there
So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She's done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave
She's just wonderin
Is there life out there
'Why is it,' She asked herself. 'those two have what I wanted with Cloud? They have love, friendship, and adventure. Their lives are far from stagnant, but they always have each other to rest on when things get hairy.'
"Gah" she said aloud. "I'm not jealous of two Turks, I'm not. ..especially two whom have solace only in each other. . .Heck, Reno couldn't even land a woman, he ended up with his male partner."
'Then why' a little voice inside her asked. 'do you feel just that tiny twinge of envy every time you catch Reno practically trying to climb Rude like a ladder in the alleyway when they leave, hmm?'
She harrumphed at the tiny voice, pouring herself a glass of brandy.
She's always lived for tomorrow
She's never learned how
To live for today
She's dyin' to try something foolish
Do something crazy
Or just get away
Something for herself for a change
'Maybe' it said again 'because they have everything you've ever wanted. They've learned how to live in the moment as much as they do for the future.'
Is there life out there
So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She's done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave
She's just wonderin
Is there life out there
She shook her head again, curling up in the armchair as she often did when lost herself in her own thoughts and did not want to wake up her husband and her son. She remembered last Christmas, when Reno and Rude had shown up with Reno's son from a past relationship that the two had adopted. Rennan and Denzel got along like two peas in a pod, the younger little redhead idolized the older boy.
There's a place in the sun that she's never been
Where life is fair and time is a friend
Would she do it the same as she did back then
She looks out the window and wonders again
"Would I still have married him if I knew then what I do now? Or would I have simply taken on Denzel on my own and taken on whatever life threw at me? Really, I don't know." She mused, picking up the photograph of the two who had her pondering these thoughts, Reno in the photograph with one hand stretched langorously across Rude's back, the other holding his son up onto his hip. The three looked so happy.
Is there life out there
So much she hasn't done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She's done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn't want to leave
She's just wonderin
Is there life out there
Tifa then just shook her head with a tiny smile before wandering back into the bedroom, curling up behind her husband.