Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO BUT I DO OWN A MANSION! JK JK!
It was a beautiful day outside, the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, Naruto was lost on a mission. How could life get any better for Sasuke? Well Sasuke just heard the wonderful news that Sakura is pregnant.
"OMG! OMG! OMG! YOUR REALLY FUCKING PREGNANT!" Sasuke was jumping up and down. Mr. Icecube was having a great day today!
"Sasuke your acting like a five year old..." Sakura said trying to get rid of her head ache.
"OMG! I HAVE TO GO TELL EVERYONE BYE! WEEEEEE!" Sasuke jumped out the window on the third floor of there house. There was a sudden crash then an 'I'M OK!' after it.
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Sasuke soon got to the village and the first place he stopped was Ino's flower store. He calmly walked inside and....
"Sakura's prenant." He muttered. Well this is totally new from what he did this morning, hm? Ino heard this and ran over to Sasuke.
"Oh really! Thats great! Well I guess I should give this to you. I was going to give it to Shika but he is tolazy to even get to the bed." Sasuke looked down at the book.
Pregnant: For Idiots
Husband addition
Of course leave it to Ino to have everything. So Sasuke walked out of the store and headedstraight home to read the book. For Idiots. When he got inside he opened to the First chapter.
Chapter 1: Weird Diets
You may notice your wife eatting intresting things she would never usually eat before. She may grow and unnatural craving for peanut butter and chocolate.
Sasuke heard the fridge open. "Honey what are you going to eat?" He asked.
"I don't know why but I have a sudden craving for chocolate tomatoes." Sasuke went wide eyes.
"MY TOMATOES!" He ran into the kitchen to protect his tomatoes and failed miserably. Soon he went back to the couch and turned to the second chapter.
Chapter 2: Mood Swings
You WILL notice your wife going through many moods at one time so be brave suck in your balls and put on a nut cup just in case. (You have no idea what pregnant women will find when anrgy!)
"Sasuke I'm sad. I'm so weak and so are so strong. I don't deserve someone like you... But on the bright side we are having a baby! BUT NEVER ONCE HAVE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME! ITS ALL ABOUT THE BABY HUH! WELL GUESS WHAT! Its a beautiful day to..... Kill myself! Why do you even put up with me? WELL GUESS WHAT I'M SICK OF YOUR ATTITUDE! SO I MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE! But I couldn't do that not while I'm pregnant! I have to raise a healthy baby! I MIGHT AS WELL CHOP OFF YOUR BALLS SO YOU CAN'T HAVE ANYMORE KIDS, MAYBE THEN YOU WILL LOVE ME MORE! Oh well I'm going to go garden on this.... miserable day! Bye bye!" By now Sasuke was in a corner, in a fetus postion, sucking his thumb. Never in his life were his balls put on the line. Sasuke crawled back to his chair and read the next chapter.
Chapter 3: Morning Sickness
Warning- It does not just happen in the morning, get the umbrella while you can man! Run!
"Sasuke I suddenly don't feel so go-" She was cut off by throwing up all over Sasuke. Sasuke to a deep breathe carried Sakura to the nearest bathroom and locked her in there while going to change his clothes. After that he read the next chapter.
Chapter 4: Baby Signs
Sometimes your wife will feel a kick in the stomache which indecates a healthy baby. But beware your wife may get emotional.
Sasuke gulped. So far he made it through the day without that happening but I spoke to soon. In the middle of the night that night...
"Oof." Sakura moaned.
"Whats wrong?" Sasuke asked.
"Baby is kicking....." Sakura was holing her stomach. Then she began to cry. "Sasuke I don't want the baby inside of m anymore get the damn thing out!" She cringed in pain. "It hurts like crazy..."
"On the bright side it means the baby is healthy!" Sasuke encouraged.
"I DON'T CARE! I WANT IT OUT! NOW!" Sasuke got out of bed and walked downstairs and slept on the couch. The next morning he read the next chapter.
Chapter 5: BABY!
This is the time to have a cell phone and a car with you because your wife is expecting anytime soon now.... Good luck with delivery!
There was a scream from upstairs. Sasuke ran upstairs to find Sakura screaming. "What wrong?" Sasuke asked backing up.
"The baby..... it's ready...." Sakura strained out. Sasuke sighed and picked her up and drove her to the hospital.
"What seems to be wrong?" The doctor asked.
"BABY! OUT! NOW!" Sakura screamed. This made other pregnant mothers turn there heads towards them. The doctor got Sakura into a room and told Sasuke to go wait in the lobby. Sasuke thanked the doctor and sprint down the hallway. He ended up sitting in a room full of pregnant women, so if one was bad enough 15 must mean hell. Finally after 5 hours of sitting there a doctor came out and called for Sasuke. He followed the doctor down to Sakura's room. They got in her room to see her sleeping.
"Ok there is Sakura were is the baby?" Sasuke asked. The doctor smiled and pointed behind a curtain. Sasuke looked behind the curtain and saw two babies. Wait, whoa two? Lets do a recount. One baby. Two baby. Ok its offical he has two babies. Wait HE HAS TWO BABIES! Well now he doesn't have to worry about getting Sakura pregnant again! Then Sakura woke up.
"Mmmm Sasuke?" She called out.
"Yes?" He asked.
"They are both boys...." She smiled. "I want another baby.... This time I want a girl...." Now you are thinking. What is Sasuke thinking well lets see.
SHIT!!!!!!!!