-All's Fair and Love and War-

Itachi One-shot

Dedicated to:Shrimps of Mass Destruction


"Stop it, yeah!" Deidara pulled his hair away from Rachel.

"Hey! Stop! I'm not done with your hair yet!! Deidara! Come back!!" Rachel chased over the blonde.

This was another typical day at the Akatsuki club. It has gotten quite noisy because of their new member.

"Deidara!"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Ill gives you a cookie!"

"No- wait what?" He stopped in mid- sentence and turned around. "Where's the cookie?"

"Errr…GOTTA GO BYE!" She waved 'bye' quickly and ran off into the hallway.

Now what am I going to do? I'm so bored…WAIT! I know! "Itatchi! Itatchi! Itatchi!! Oiiii Itatchi!!!" Rachel called out. "IIIITTTAAAACCCCHHHIII!!"

Rachel opened his bedroom door. "ITATCHI YOU IN- Hey!" Rachel waved her hand stupidly. No one would ever dare to enter Uchiha Itachi's room. I mean NO BODY!

Except Rachel!

"I found you! You evil-hey!" Rachel walked up to his bed. "You're asleep…" She eyed the S-ranked criminal, he was in his usual attire, but one thing caught her eye.

A STUFFED TEDDY BEAR!!ZMOG! PERFECT BLACKMAIL!!! Rachel wanted to laugh so badly right now but she couldn't risk the sleeping Uchiha to wake up. She slowly slipped out her polorid camera.

Click.

Click.

Click.

Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

Ha! Take that you bastard! These pictures represent all the times you made fun of me!! She held about twenty pictures in her hand, and put them in her pocket. She kept taking pictures with different angles of Itatchi sleeping. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

She continued clicking her camera, to find different pictures. But unnoticed to her, a certain Uchiha was watching her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing…?"

Rachel instantly froze. Crap. He's awake. Turning around slowly and nervously she smiled up at the now angry Uchiha.

"H-h-hey Itachi-sama! How was your nap?" Rachel sweated nervously. She was going to die right here right now.

He eyed the camera in her hands; she noticed that he was looking at her hands. It hit her like a brick. He wanted to know why she was holding the camera.

"Errr… I can expla-"She was cut short by another voice.

"Rachel!! Get you but down here!! Sasori-Danna is pissed off at you, yeah! And you better hurry! Or he'll be PMS-ing-OW! Sasori-Danna! Why did you hit me??"

"Deidara is bleeding Deidara is bleeding! Tobi's a good boy!!"

"Urusai! Un! RACHELL!!! GET DOWN HERE!!"

"Err… GOTTA GO BYE!!" Rachel zipped through the door and ran to where Deidara was.


"Rachel…Explain to me… WHY ARE ALL MY PUPETS PAINTED PINK AND PURPLE?!?" Sasori said while pointing to his beloved puppets.

"Oooh!! Rachel in trouble! Rachel in trouble! But Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi jumped up and down circling Rachel.

Her left eyebrow twitched violently. Stupid bustard…Why I otta…

"RACHEL!!"

"WHAT!" She turned around to come face to face with Sasori. She blushed of how close their faces were. "Wh-What do you want…" She asked while calming her voice.

"Give me the answer."

"Well…"

"Oi! Baka-hime!" Rachel turned around to see Kisame holding his Samadahara while glaring at her.

"What did you do to me sword? Why is it all yellow?"

"Well…err..."

"Oi, Teme," She turned around to see Zetsu, but her was all black, and no white. "Care to explain what happened to my white half?"

"Ahaha… funny story"

"SSHITTT RACHEL!" A storming Kazuki came into the room, "Where did you hide all my money?"

"Umm…"

"AHHHHHH!!!!!" A high pitched scream could be heard, Hidan ran in the room while holding his three bladed scythes. "DAMN IT!! RACHEL! WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE BLADE ON MY SCYTHE!! AND WHY ARE THE OTHERS IN MY BEDROOM WALL WITH STICKERS SAYING MY RELIGION SUCKS!?"

"Kukukku.. That was a funny one…"

"Rachel…" Rachel turned around to come in contact with someone chest.

"Itai! What the hell- hellllllloo Itachi!! Hehehe..." She saw him holding her camera. "Ah!! Oi! My camera! Give it back!"

CRUNCH

Small pieces of her camera fell to the ground. Rachel stared at the pieces with horror. Everybody looked surprised at what the Uchiha just did. Everyone knew that the camera was the most precious thing that Rachel had owned.

"Rachel…" Deidara started.

"…"

"Baka-hime…"

"…"

Rachel stared blankly at the now broken camera she one had, slowly she walked out of the room and out the front door.

SLAM

"Itachi-Sama… I don't think you had to break it…" Kisame said while sighing and walking back to his room, everybody nodded and retreated back to their room to deal with their own personal problems.

Itachi just stood on the same place and remained silent while walking back to his room also.


Stupid bastard…breaking my camera like that…now I have nothing to do! And I can't exactly buy a new one… being a wanted criminal too…DAMNIT!! DIE ITACHI! WHY CANT YOU JUST DIE! IF I HAD SOMETHING TO BALCKMAIL HIM WITH ARRGG BUT WHAT I CAN'T HINK OF ANYTHIN- Rachel stood up and dug into her pockets, BINGO! YOU'RE GOING DOWN ITACHI Kukukukukuku…


Rachel walked down the Akatsuki halls quietly. No one dared to bother her, one thing they knew was to never mess with her camera. Glaring at everything she passed by she stepped into the living room. Deidara and Tobi's head snapped towards the small nose. They saw a brooding Rachel.

"Hi Rachel! Tobi's a goo-"

SMACK

Deidara stared at the poor 'soon to be' Akastuki member on the wall. He heard Rachel sit down and stare at him. He was currently making clay birds for 'fun' not daring to say or look at her he continued what he was doing.

Rachel eyed the blonde skeptically and opened her mouth to speak. "Deidara"

He froze at the tone of her voice it was cold and harsh. "Y-yes??" he stuttered. He turned around to see the girl standing over him scowling. What the heck did I do?

She threw some paper on the table and quickly.

What the heck are these? Pap-OH MY GOD! The blonde had saucer wide eyes; he quickly scanned through the photos. They were all Itachi…sleeping …. With a bear…

"Oh my god, un…" His laughter could be heard all around the Akatsuki hide out, all of them came out to see what all the commotion was.

"Oi! Baka! Why are you so-" Kisame stoped when a picture was shoved in his face. He snorted. "W-wha…-WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT!"

"Rachel, un…I think its payback… I don't know…yeah" Deidara continued playing with his clay. Everyone stood still looking at the pictures. They couldn't laugh… especially when Itachi was right behind them. He grabbed the 19 pictures and burned it in his hand, then walked out to the training room.


"Ahaha! I wonder what their doing now… I bet Itachi found out and burned them! But luckily I still got one left for me, inca-aaaaa HEEYY ITACHI!" Rachel quickly stood up while holding her hands behind her back, gripping the last picture tightly.

"Where is it?" He asked, more like demanded.

"Where's what?" Rachel answered stupidly.

"The picture I know you have more."

"Nuh-Uh! I gave them to Deidara…" her words slowed down when Itachi walked closed to her.

"…"

"Itachi-Sama…I don't know what your talking abou-Eek!" Her back it the wall. His hands were placed on each side of her head. She was trapped.

"I-Itachi…What are you-"She was cut off when to surprisingly soft lips came in contact with hers. Her eyes were wide. She couldn't believe it, she was getting kissed by, THE Uchiha Itachi. Slowly her eyes closed, but unnoticed to her her arms that were behind her back went to her sides, in her right had there was the picture, Itachi quicly grabbed it without her noticing it.

He pulled back, and saw her blushing, "O-Oi! Baka! What was that for?" She asked while trying to calm her voice.

"Nothing… I did it just for this." He held onto the last picture.

"WHAT!" Rachel looked at her hands and saw that it was missing and in that hand of his. "DAMNIT ITACHI! I HATE YOU!!!"

He just smirked and walked back inside.

Stupid Itachi…ruining all my fun…Rachel touché her lips, But boy! He sure can kiss!


YAYA!!! THERE MY ITACHI ONESHOT!! … I hope it okay… it was kinda hard!! I hope you enjoyed it!!! Stay tuned for my Kankurou oneshot!!

And if you have a request 4 a oneshot! ... msg meh!

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-Kishumi-