Blaine remembers the first time he cut himself. How could he forget the day he ruined his own life?

~o~o~o~o~

Blaine was 14 when he came out. He couldn't hide it anymore. He asked his parents to meet him in the living room in half an hour. He had to give himself a little time to work up the courage to do this.

"Mom, Dad... I have something to tell you guys something.." He starts, having a hard time getting the words out.

"What is it honey? Is something wrong?" His mom asks, clearly getting worried.

"No, uh, nothing like that..." He clears his throat. "...I'm.. I'm gay."

"You're... WHAT?" Blaine's dad says, clearly pissed.

"I'm gay, dad."

"No. You aren't. My son isn't a fucking faggot."

"Dad, i.."

"Shut the fuck up, Blaine. You aren't a faggot, okay. We didn't raise you like that. We raised you right. You aren't gay. This is a phase."

Blaine wasn't sure if he was trying to convince him, or convince himself.

"Dad, it doesn't have to do with how you raised me. It's who I am. You are either born gay or you aren't, it isn't a choice!"

"Oh bullshit it's not a fucking choice. You weren't born gay because you aren't gay. You are confused Blaine, okay? YOU. AREN'T. GAY."

Blaine was sobbing at this point.

"Why can't you accept me dad? This is who I am, why can't you be okay with that? This doesn't change who I am, I'm still the same Blaine I've always been, dad. I'm still the same person..."

"Yeah, you are the same person, because you aren't gay. Now go to your fucking room, your mother and i need to have a little talk."

Blaine ran up the stairs as fast as he possibly could. No. This isn't how it's supposed to be. They were supposed to hug me and tell me that it's okay and i can love whoever i want to and they would support me. It's not supposed to be like this, He thinks. I'm just going to take a shower and let them talk. He was just shocked, that's all. Mom didn't even say anything, she was just shocked too right? That has to be all. They will call me down tonight and dad will apologize and say he overreacted and he's going to love and support him no matter what. That's what parents are supposed to do, right?

~o~o~o~o~

He was in the bathroom when he got the idea.

He grabbed one of the many disposable razors from the cabinet along with a metal nail file. He popped the plastic edging off and pulled the razor blades out with tweezers, being careful not to cut his fingers. They popped right out. He dropped them into his palm. The sound they made when they fell made him smile.

He let the water get to the perfect temperature and stepped in, still holding the blades. He let the water run over him, enjoying the slight chill of the water as it clung to his skin. He shivered slightly at how cold the blades had gotten.

Steady... Steady.. He thought as he set down one of the blades and proceeded to press one lightly onto his shoulder. He figured his shoulder would be a good spot since he could very easily hide that with a t-shirt. He pressed down until he could feel the pressure of the sharp edge against his skin.

He started out dragging slowly, but the pain turned into itching. Fuck it. One quick pull and suddenly the water running off of him is tinged slightly pink. Moving the blade down the his stomach, he repeats the motion. The water gets a little darker.

"Just one more.." He whispers to himself.

And those 2 turn into 4. 4 turns into 10. 10 turns into 14.

He only stops when the water running down is nearly a deep red.

Shit.

He starts getting faint.

He turns off the water and runs to his room, bringing bandages with him.

He locks the door and is about to sit down when he starts hearing a loud ringing in his ears.

And then everything goes black.

~o~o~o~o~

It's been about 3 years since that day.

Blaine's parents had never accepted him. His dad had started hitting him, while his mom just ignored him.

His stomach is completely covered in scars. There isn't a clean spot of skin from his hips to his chest.

By now he had over 300 scars covering him. He tried to quit, but never lasted more than a month. He never failed to relapse.

Except when he met Kurt.

He quickly became his best friend.

They could talk to each other about anything. Aside from the scars at least.

Kurt had gotten dangerously close to finding his blades a few times, but it wasn't until they were dating that he actually found them.

He had been looking through some of Blaine's stuff when he dropped something between the nightstand and the bed. He went to reach down for it and Blaine smacked his hand away.

"What was that for?" He asked, irritated.

"Um.. Nothing, sorry.. Let me just get that for you so you don't have to reach down for it.."

"WAIT. No. Something is up with you." He said, slightly glaring at him. He reached down when he felt something that felt slightly like velvet. He pulled out a ring box and looked at it, confused. "What's this, Blaine?" He said. When he looked up, he noticed Blaine's face was completely white.

"I... Please Kurt, please don't open it.."

But he was too late, Kurt had already opened it. Blaine started crying as he pulled the blades out.

"B-Blaine.." He stuttered, "What... Why do you.. Why do you have a box filled with razors, Blaine?"

Shit. Now Kurt was crying.

Blaine quickly got up and sat on the ground with Kurt, grabbing his waist from behind and hugging him so tightly that Kurt could barely breathe.

"P-Please don't leave me, Kurt.."

"Leave you? I- I wouldn't do that to you baby, I just... Why?"

He tells him the whole story. He leaves out the details (like the amount of blood and the fainting) but tells him everything else.

"I... I know your dad has never really liked us dating, but.. How could he say that to you, Blaine? He's your dad, isn't he supposed to love you no matter what?"

They were both crying, just sitting on Blaine's bedroom floor, hugging each other. Somewhere during the story Kurt had put the blades back into the ring box.

"Let's.. Let's just lay down, okay Kurt?"

They get into bed. Kurt sits up.

"Blaine.. Can I.. Can I see your scars?"

He hesitates.

"Okay, but.. You have to promise me something first."

"Anything."

"You can't tell anybody. And.. Please, please don't cry or get scared when you see.."

"I promise."

Blaine laid flat on his back, taking a deep breath before he pulled his shirt off.

"Oh my god...Blaine.. I.. How did you keep this hidden all this time?"

"It's easier than you might think, actually.."

Kurt sat up more, ending up on his knees. He moved over to where Blaine was laying down and sat near his feet. He stretched out until he was laying on top of him. He gave him a quick kiss.

"I love you, Blaine."

Blaine couldn't think at all. His mind was racing. The last thing he was expecting was for Kurt to tell he loved him for the first time.

"I- I love you too." Blaine stutters.

Kurt slides down until his head is around Blaine's chest.

"I.. What are you.."

Kurt starts kissing down his chest, down his stomach, a kiss over every scar on his body.

"I love you no matter what, Blaine. These scars will never change that, okay?"

"Yeah.. Okay.. Um.. Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."