Shadow Warrior May
28, 2004
Omnimusha, the Stupid Lords!
Ok everybody, I got that idea long time ago and I think this will be my first blooper and no, it's not about Tenchu! It's about Omnimusha!
Disclaimer: I don't own Omnimusha, but I might put some random characters there from my other stories like Ioshi, Jisaku and Bron.
Chapter One: The Fun Begins
Scene: Opening movie of the game soldier is Nobunaga's troops are coming and soldier is sweating.
Soldier: "Oh god, it's so hot here, I knew I shouldn't put that armor on!"
Ioshi: "Hey, according to the script, you didn't suppose to say anything!"
Soldier: "And what do you know? Who are you anyways and what are you doing here?"
Ioshi: "Talk latter, Nobunaga's troops are coming!"
Soldier: "What? Where?"
Ioshi: "Look into the grass you fool!"
Soldier: "Oh st! You shall not pass through me!" draws sword
Ioshi: "Ahem, you shouldn't say or do anything according to the script! Just stay and sweat."
Soldier: "Screw the script!" gets shot by an arrow
Ioshi: "that certainly not in the script."
Scene: The skull is lying on the ground and Nobunaga smashes it by riding over it on the horse on his way to meet his troops.
Nobunaga: "Damn it! Who'd put that rotten skull here? I nearly fell of my horse because of it!"
Jisaku: "Excuse me, Nobunaga-sama, but those are not your lines."
Nobunaga: "Don't you think I know my lines? I'm Oda Nobunaga, the great war lord and unifier of Japan!"
Jisaku: "Yeah, Yeah, just say your lines."
Nobunaga: "Fellows, kill the men and take the women!"
Troops: excitedly "Yay!"
Jisaku: . "That's not what you suppose to say, read the script carefully!"
Nobunaga: takes the script and reads it "Oh ok, sorry that suppose to be this. Fellows, it is time to die with honor!"
Troops: sadly "Ooh!"
Nobunaga: "I know I hate my lines too."
Scene: Samanosuke watches as Nobunaga's troops are coming from the top of the hill.
Samanosuke: "There's too many of them, I think we should flee at once!"
Bron: "First of all, those aren't your lines and second, your forces are far more numerous then Nobunaga's!"
Samanosuke: "Oh right, I remember what I have to say now. Here's come the enemy."
Bron: "Good, you got it right this time, now watch out for that spear!"
Samanosuke: "What spear? Gets hit by a shaft of the spear Hey, watch it! You could poke my eye out with that! Tries to jerk the spear out of enemy soldier's hands, but can't Lets go of it!"
Soldier: "Never!"
Samanosuke: Hits him hard in you know what area "I asked you nicely."
Soldier: Lets go of spear and bending from the pain O.O "I knew I should protected that area with armor..." faints
Samanosuke: kills all enemies around him
Scene: Nobunaga's war camp, the messenger with paper flags that look like feathers behind his back arrives.
Messenger: "My Lord..."
Nobunaga: Laughs
Messenger: "What is it my Lord?"
Nobunaga: "Oh, nothing, it's just that those things behind your back are really killing me..." continues laughing
Messenger: -.- Sighs
Nobunaga: "What is it anyways?" still laughing a little
Messenger: "We had claimed Yoshimoto's head!"
Nobunaga: "So, should I congratulate you on this?"
Ioshi: "Excuse me, but you have to celebrate here."
Nobunaga: "Oh joy! Hey you, bring some sake for me and this Sir, we should celebrate our victory!"
Ioshi: "According to the script, you have to stand up and laugh."
Nobunaga: "Are you crazy? I will risk getting hit by an arrow!"
Ioshi: "Just do it yourself, or I'll slit your belly with my kattana right here!"
Nobunaga: "Alright already, no need to get mean..." stands up and laughing, the arrow penetrates his neck and he falls dead
Scene: Samanosuke riding towards Inabayama castle to rescue princess Yuki.
Samanosuke: "Oh, why did I drank so much sake last night! Not only my had hurts now, but I woke up so late, I don't know weather I'll make it in time to see Yuki still in the bed..." gets hit by a fan "...ouch, who is this?"
Jisaku: riding along him on the horse with a big fan in her hand " Pervert! Hurry up you fool, the demons are coming for Yuki!"
Samanosuke: "Don't make me laugh, there are no such things as demons and I bet that she just making things looks bigger then they really are. So what if some servants disappeared, maybe they needed to go out for a while, there's no need to go crazy on that and her brother's probably right."
Jisaku: "Oh yeah, then why you're in such a hurry samurai boy?"
Samanosuke: "Do you really have to ask?"
Jisaku: "Oh, you just a pervert!" smacks him again
Scene: Near the castle the guards are in front of the gates.
Guards: "Stop!"
Samanosuke: "Out of my way, you idiots!" kills both of them
Bron: "You didn't have to kill them, they're on your side. Plus, it's against the script!"
Samanosuke: "You know what? Go pee on that script!"
Bron: "Oh, ok, I actually wanted to go for a while now."
Samanosuke: Stops with his jaw drop to the floor, then remembers "Princess Yuki! I'm coming, just don't get out of bed for little longer!"
Scene: In the castle, Princess Yuki is writing a latter and Blade Demons are coming for her, while Samanosuke running through the castle. When he comes, she's no longer in there.
Samanosuke: "Crap, she went out already and I wanted to see her in her night gown!" gets hit again "Hey, stop sneaking up on me like that! You don't even suppose to be here!"
Kaede: "Oh, is that so! Well, then I suppose I should assassinate you ad my clan told me to do long time ago! I can't believe that I trusted you!"
Samanosuke: "Oh, so sorry, I thought it was that other girl."
Kaede: "What other girl? I knew you were pervert, but I never realized how perverted you are!"
Samanosuke: "No, you got that all wrong..."
Ioshi: "Ok team, it's time for some R&R before a big battle, so relax a bit and stop fighting."
Samanosuke: "What battle?" sees Nobunaga's troops with him at the head coming. Nobunaga's eyes glows blue and his face is blue "Meep! How did that happened?"
Jisaku: "Oh, he got revived by some demon scientist and now came for Yuki's head."
Samanosuke: "Not if I can help it!" draws kattana
Bron: "Stop, you should rest now. You'll get plenty of chances nailing him in next chapter!"
This is it for the first chapter and the next will come when I'll have some ideas.
Omnimusha, the Stupid Lords!
Ok everybody, I got that idea long time ago and I think this will be my first blooper and no, it's not about Tenchu! It's about Omnimusha!
Disclaimer: I don't own Omnimusha, but I might put some random characters there from my other stories like Ioshi, Jisaku and Bron.
Chapter One: The Fun Begins
Scene: Opening movie of the game soldier is Nobunaga's troops are coming and soldier is sweating.
Soldier: "Oh god, it's so hot here, I knew I shouldn't put that armor on!"
Ioshi: "Hey, according to the script, you didn't suppose to say anything!"
Soldier: "And what do you know? Who are you anyways and what are you doing here?"
Ioshi: "Talk latter, Nobunaga's troops are coming!"
Soldier: "What? Where?"
Ioshi: "Look into the grass you fool!"
Soldier: "Oh st! You shall not pass through me!" draws sword
Ioshi: "Ahem, you shouldn't say or do anything according to the script! Just stay and sweat."
Soldier: "Screw the script!" gets shot by an arrow
Ioshi: "that certainly not in the script."
Scene: The skull is lying on the ground and Nobunaga smashes it by riding over it on the horse on his way to meet his troops.
Nobunaga: "Damn it! Who'd put that rotten skull here? I nearly fell of my horse because of it!"
Jisaku: "Excuse me, Nobunaga-sama, but those are not your lines."
Nobunaga: "Don't you think I know my lines? I'm Oda Nobunaga, the great war lord and unifier of Japan!"
Jisaku: "Yeah, Yeah, just say your lines."
Nobunaga: "Fellows, kill the men and take the women!"
Troops: excitedly "Yay!"
Jisaku: . "That's not what you suppose to say, read the script carefully!"
Nobunaga: takes the script and reads it "Oh ok, sorry that suppose to be this. Fellows, it is time to die with honor!"
Troops: sadly "Ooh!"
Nobunaga: "I know I hate my lines too."
Scene: Samanosuke watches as Nobunaga's troops are coming from the top of the hill.
Samanosuke: "There's too many of them, I think we should flee at once!"
Bron: "First of all, those aren't your lines and second, your forces are far more numerous then Nobunaga's!"
Samanosuke: "Oh right, I remember what I have to say now. Here's come the enemy."
Bron: "Good, you got it right this time, now watch out for that spear!"
Samanosuke: "What spear? Gets hit by a shaft of the spear Hey, watch it! You could poke my eye out with that! Tries to jerk the spear out of enemy soldier's hands, but can't Lets go of it!"
Soldier: "Never!"
Samanosuke: Hits him hard in you know what area "I asked you nicely."
Soldier: Lets go of spear and bending from the pain O.O "I knew I should protected that area with armor..." faints
Samanosuke: kills all enemies around him
Scene: Nobunaga's war camp, the messenger with paper flags that look like feathers behind his back arrives.
Messenger: "My Lord..."
Nobunaga: Laughs
Messenger: "What is it my Lord?"
Nobunaga: "Oh, nothing, it's just that those things behind your back are really killing me..." continues laughing
Messenger: -.- Sighs
Nobunaga: "What is it anyways?" still laughing a little
Messenger: "We had claimed Yoshimoto's head!"
Nobunaga: "So, should I congratulate you on this?"
Ioshi: "Excuse me, but you have to celebrate here."
Nobunaga: "Oh joy! Hey you, bring some sake for me and this Sir, we should celebrate our victory!"
Ioshi: "According to the script, you have to stand up and laugh."
Nobunaga: "Are you crazy? I will risk getting hit by an arrow!"
Ioshi: "Just do it yourself, or I'll slit your belly with my kattana right here!"
Nobunaga: "Alright already, no need to get mean..." stands up and laughing, the arrow penetrates his neck and he falls dead
Scene: Samanosuke riding towards Inabayama castle to rescue princess Yuki.
Samanosuke: "Oh, why did I drank so much sake last night! Not only my had hurts now, but I woke up so late, I don't know weather I'll make it in time to see Yuki still in the bed..." gets hit by a fan "...ouch, who is this?"
Jisaku: riding along him on the horse with a big fan in her hand " Pervert! Hurry up you fool, the demons are coming for Yuki!"
Samanosuke: "Don't make me laugh, there are no such things as demons and I bet that she just making things looks bigger then they really are. So what if some servants disappeared, maybe they needed to go out for a while, there's no need to go crazy on that and her brother's probably right."
Jisaku: "Oh yeah, then why you're in such a hurry samurai boy?"
Samanosuke: "Do you really have to ask?"
Jisaku: "Oh, you just a pervert!" smacks him again
Scene: Near the castle the guards are in front of the gates.
Guards: "Stop!"
Samanosuke: "Out of my way, you idiots!" kills both of them
Bron: "You didn't have to kill them, they're on your side. Plus, it's against the script!"
Samanosuke: "You know what? Go pee on that script!"
Bron: "Oh, ok, I actually wanted to go for a while now."
Samanosuke: Stops with his jaw drop to the floor, then remembers "Princess Yuki! I'm coming, just don't get out of bed for little longer!"
Scene: In the castle, Princess Yuki is writing a latter and Blade Demons are coming for her, while Samanosuke running through the castle. When he comes, she's no longer in there.
Samanosuke: "Crap, she went out already and I wanted to see her in her night gown!" gets hit again "Hey, stop sneaking up on me like that! You don't even suppose to be here!"
Kaede: "Oh, is that so! Well, then I suppose I should assassinate you ad my clan told me to do long time ago! I can't believe that I trusted you!"
Samanosuke: "Oh, so sorry, I thought it was that other girl."
Kaede: "What other girl? I knew you were pervert, but I never realized how perverted you are!"
Samanosuke: "No, you got that all wrong..."
Ioshi: "Ok team, it's time for some R&R before a big battle, so relax a bit and stop fighting."
Samanosuke: "What battle?" sees Nobunaga's troops with him at the head coming. Nobunaga's eyes glows blue and his face is blue "Meep! How did that happened?"
Jisaku: "Oh, he got revived by some demon scientist and now came for Yuki's head."
Samanosuke: "Not if I can help it!" draws kattana
Bron: "Stop, you should rest now. You'll get plenty of chances nailing him in next chapter!"
This is it for the first chapter and the next will come when I'll have some ideas.