Loki was on the run, trying to avoid the newly-formed Avengers and kill time until the perfect moment when his master plan could be put in action.
There was something different about today, though – for some reason, many people were dressed in outrageous costumes.
"What is this?" he gruffly asked as he stopped a passer-by.
"It's Halloween!" the guy replied, grinning and running off.
Hm - another ridiculous Earth custom that he was sure to get rid of once he became the undisputed ruler of the universe.
He froze as he recognised the familiar helmet and red cape of his foster brother. The person looked to the side, and he realised it was someone else.
'Why would anyone do that,' he thought, perplexed.
He became aware of someone tugging on his cape.
"Trick or treat?" asked a small boy with a hopeful face.
"You think you can trick me?" he growled, his status as the god of mischief threatened.
The boy looked miserable. "Can I have a lolly, please, mister?"
Loki rolled his eyes. "Fine. How about both a trick and a treat?"
With a wave of his hands, he turned the nearby cars into ice cream. He looked on, amused yet disgusted as people in close proximity ran towards it and started gobbling as fast as they could.
'Oh, how easy it is to cause humanity to fall,' he thought as he shook his head.
-0-
"Hey, either there's a lot of undigested pink ice cream that backed up in the sewer system, or it's Loki," said Natasha, the Black Widow, who was flying the Shield aircraft. "Let's spread out over a two-block radius. He's got to be somewhere."
-0-
Thor started at the first house of his assigned street. The door was answered by a sweet little granny with one-inch-thick glasses.
"Madam, I would like to know if you have seen anything unusual."
She turned to her sideboard, and placed a yellow sweet in his hand. "Here you go, young man."
"Er, thank you," replied Thor as she started to turn away.
"Gosh, they grow up so quickly these days," she muttered as she shut the door.
Frowning, Thor caught up with Bruce Banner in the street.
"Find anything?" Bruce asked.
"Not really," replied Thor, handing him the sweet and moving onto the next house.
Without thinking much, Bruce unwrapped the sweet and popped it in his mouth.
It was a lemon chew.
He hated lemon chews.
With a roar, he transformed into the Hulk, smashing up cars, causing Thor to try to simultaneously restrain him and shoo away the crowd.
-0-
Natasha looked around the busy street to which she was assigned, and suddenly came across Captain America with a bagful of lollies.
A bit sheepish, he shrugged. "Hey, it's the American way."
Looking disgruntled, she said "Let's continue to look for Loki, shall we?"
Seeing them at a distance, there was no doubt in Loki's mind that it was two real members of the Avengers. He immediately ducked behind a large tree in the nearby park. He suddenly realised that he was standing next to a girl dressed as Loki.
"Not bad," she said, eyeing him up and down.
"Oh, I'm very bad," replied Loki coolly, staring her down.
The girl's eyes widened as she realised who he was. Suddenly, an expression of delight appeared on her face as she turned away to call out to her friends. "Hey, it's really him! Loki's over here!" He could now hear the exclamations of people in the distance followed by the message being relayed.
That was unexpected. Not liking this development, Loki quickly and stealthily made his way to the local library, which was just at the other end of the park.
-0-
Loki flipped a page and suddenly became aware of a man in red and gold armour staring at him.
"How did you find me?"
"You're so sweet, we just followed the trail," replied Tony sarcastically.
Loki got to his feet. "Well… trick or treat?" he asked dryly.
"Oh, I'll definitely have a treat." Moving forward, Iron Man punched him in the stomach, causing Loki to double over despite his godlike resilience. Those extra thrusters installed in the suit certainly paid off.
"WHAT do you think you're doing?" yelled a grey-haired woman who peered over the rims of her glasses at Iron Man. Stunned, Tony turned his head to view her.
"Well, you see-"
"This is MY LIBRARY and there will be nothing of this sort in here!"
"Yes, but-"
"BUTTS are something that belong in your sordid fashion magazines, not in this library!"
"Er-"
"You're missing the point. There is NO VERSION of this where you come out on top."
Iron Man gulped.
Loki silently put the book down and slinked away, cringing.
Looking outside, he changed into a female version of himself, then exited the building. All the people he could see dressed as Loki one way or another seemed to be running around and waving their arms, excited. Unfortunately, it was the perfect disguise. But boy, did he feel like an idiot.
He paused on the other side of the park, puffed out. He just couldn't do it anymore for a number of reasons and changed back into his usual form.
"Aw, he doesn't have any candy," said a kid nearby, holding out a lolly. Loki didn't respond as the kid pressed it into his hand and then ran away.
Not seeing much reason not to, Loki unwrapped the sweet and was just about to put it into his mouth when an arrow shot it out of his hand.
Spinning around, he saw Hawkeye in the distance, smirking, with the other Avengers standing next to him.
Narrowing his eyes, Loki disappeared around a nearby corner.
Moments later, he reappeared, terrified, running towards them. "I give up!" he said, raising both his hands as he stopped before them.
Initially wary of his motives, they scrutinized him to try to determine his sincerity, but there actually was a faint sound that seemed unusual. Curious, they listened more – it sounded like a stampede mixed with unearthly high-pitched squeals, getting louder and louder.
"Is it the Chitauri?" murmured the Black Widow.
The squealing reached fever-pitch. Finally a gaggle of Loki fangirls appeared around the corner. They spotted Loki and made a beeline for him.
"Oh, I think we can delay our arrest in order to appease these ladies," said Tony, cocking his head. Loki narrowed his eyes, infuriated.
"I agree," Thor said, smirking and patting Loki on the back. Loki was mortified, and looked at Thor murderously for leaving him helpless.
Thor pushed him towards the fangirls, who immediately enveloped him. With a squeal, they all started to hug him.
"Why is everyone hugging me?" he growled, on edge.
"Because it says so!" said one fan, giggling and giving him another hug.
"What do you mean?" said Loki, narrowing his eyes.
She reached around and removed a post-it note from his back that said 'hug me'.
Immediately, Loki turned and glared at Thor, who looked pleased.
"Hey, Loki, I can be an animal in bed," said one fan seductively, winking and wiggling her eyebrows.
"Oh, very funny," he snapped. It was quite clear they'd heard about Sleipnir and the others.
The fangirls at the back pushed through in a wave, and the ones in the front started to grab Loki's clothing and hair to help maintain their balance.
"I don't suppose any of you can help me take over the world," he muttered, completely resigned to having his personal space invaded.
A little girl piped up. "Well, according to Beyonce, we already run the world!"
"And you believe that?" growled Loki.
She looked upset.
"Whatever," he added, rolling his eyes.
"Aw, isn't he cute," said Tony, deadpan.
"We had better rescue him, else there may not be much left to rescue," said Thor.
"Eh, a bit of psychological torture can't go astray," Tony replied.
"Besides," Bruce added, "maybe they'll turn him – have you ever heard of the psychological technique of flooding to overcome fears and dislikes? Maybe he'll actually like people after this."
"Hey, I was frozen for fifty years in a block of ice, and I feel pretty much the same," Captain America said. "Are you sure it works?"
Bruce blinked quickly. "No, no, it's not literal flooding, it's-"
"Leave it," said Tony, putting a hand on Bruce's shoulder. "Let's finish this party and start a real one at my place." Stepping forward, he clapped his hands and said "OK, girls, everyone who goes to that McDonalds over there gets a free holiday in Malibu."
With a squeal, they all immediately ran in that direction.
Loki looked miserable, with hair disheveled and clothing partially torn. "Aw, and I was just starting to like hugs," he said sarcastically.
Bruce rolled his eyes, and transformed into the Hulk, advancing on Loki.
"No, no – that was a joke! A trick!" shouted Loki desperately.
The Hulk grunted and then turned away, now becoming interested in the carry bags of lollies that each of the Avengers held.
"Loki, we need your help," said Thor seriously.
"Why, after all this time, are you asking me for my help now?"
"Well, it is a pretty big pile of sweets, brother."
Loki raised an eyebrow, not believing what he was hearing.
The Hulk made a gurgling sound, and licked his lips as he surveyed their swag.
"Hey, big fella, go back to being Bruce, else it won't be fair to the rest of us," said Tony.
With a whine, the Hulk transformed back.
"Sure, Loki, we can hang out for a bit. Then we'll arrest you," said Tony rather expressionlessly.
Loki looked at them as if they'd all gone nuts. "Well, as long as you're better than those fangirls." He looked at the Black Widow with suspicion.
"Hey, don't look at me," she said, raising both her hands.
He then looked at Tony cautiously.
Iron Man stepped forward. "You're the diva, remember?"
Loki gave him a withering look as they all turned to head back to Stark Industries.
-0-
Loki woke up with a groan. He was on the floor in the lounge room of Stark Industries, and his stomach felt like it was doing a million backflips a second. He clutched his stomach to try and ease the throbbing pain. How could something so innocuously delicious have such a terrible effect?
Tony came into the room. "Aw, poor Loki – didn't you know that there would be repercussions for being too greedy?"
"Please, if you have anything to help-"
"Oh, I think you should experience the consequences of your own actions," said Tony nonchalantly.
"This really is a lovely rug," threatened Loki through gritted teeth, looking like he was going to throw up.
Immediately, Tony left the room and returned with some antacid. "Once you've drunk that, there's something else we'll use to make sure it all stays down."
Cautiously sipping the antacid, Loki looked at him warily as he produced a thin silver muzzle.
Loki narrowed his eyes. "Whatever. Just don't ever mention sweets to me again."
-0-
Loki stood, hands tied in front of him, in the throne room before Odin. The antacid had helped, but his stomach was still throbbing, leaving him in a grumpy mood.
Odin cleared his throat. "Loki, you actually look regretful, for once."
"Yes, I am quite regretful, Father," Loki replied with an expression of distaste.
"Very well. I shall excuse your current actions as it finally looks like you've learned something. But this kind of thing had better not happen again."
Both Loki and Thor stood there, stunned.
Thor leaned over to whisper in Loki's ear. "Congratulations. All those years of reading paid off – you've finally actually learned something."
Loki grimaced, irritated that Thor was putting one over him.
"What's going on there?" boomed Odin.
"Nothing, Father," replied Thor. "We were just discussing the possibility of a feast to celebrate this milestone occurrence."
Loki paled, now quite white.
"Yes, we shall have a feast tonight – to Loki!" announced Odin with cheers all around. He then stood and left the room.
Frigga smiled. "It's so good to see you boys getting along so well!"
"Yes, I'm more than happy to celebrate this, Mother," said Thor, smiling broadly, which earned him a nod of approval.
When she left, Loki muttered "I don't know how I'm going to get you back, Thor, but I will."
"That's OK, brother, I like feasts," Thor said, smiling and patting him on the back.
Loki rolled his eyes as the guards released his chains.
Maybe that Midgard holiday wasn't so bad after all.
-0-
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-0-
The animal in bed thing is supposed to be a reference to the fact that Loki has created the horse Sleipnir, and is therefore into beastiality?
Gotta say this was partially inspired by the Loki Comedy Central skits.
Flooding is when one is exposed to a stimulus until they are indifferent to it. e.g. if someone has a fear of spiders, spiders are repeatedly thrown at them until they've overcome their phobia. Usually people select other methods to overcome their phobia.
It really appeals to me about the idea that Loki has all these fangirls but doesn't really want them. :D