Why Her?
"Roxas, you're so sweet!"
"Haha, no you are Namine..."
I watch from afar as she slowly takes everything I used to have away from me. I feel as if she's draining part of my life and my will to live. Really, truly and honestly from the bottom of my heart, I hate to see "that everything" I had clinging on to her like a kid.
It's because that "everything" I'm talking about is you Roxas. It's always been you. You're the prince of my little world, which is officially in uncontrollable and unimaginable chaos. All because of her. She may be just one girl but she's made a huge difference by just appearing.
We've been best friends forever Roxas, and yet, you still choose her. Instead of choosing me, a girl who has been with you your whole life, you chose someone you never knew at all, a stranger who tumbles in unannounced.
I've been with you through everything, ever since our childhood, or maybe even earlier than that. I'm always there to support you through thick and thin. I'm always there to lend you an ear when you want to let something out. I'm always there when you're at your happiest. I'm always there when you feel like giving up on everything. Everyday, for the past few years, I'm always by your side. I never left it, not even once, like how dogs stick by their master.
But even so, you still chose her. And you don't see at all that she's tearing us apart. You're barely hanging on to me. And once you fall, I'll be alone, and the evil abyss that you think is so wonderful will have you.
I wonder what it is I don't have that she does. Why does she allure you to no end like how sirens and their melodic tunes allure sailors?
Maybe it's her looks that makes her so appealing. Does her long, blonde hair mesmerize you to no end? Does her ocean blue eyes attract you to her, like how a magnet attracts metal?
Her personality? Is her shyness adorable in your eyes, or is it the faint blush that sits on her face whenever you talk to her?
Or maybe it's her talent. I wouldn't be surprised if you liked her for that. She's amazing with her pencils and paper. She can draw beautiful sceneries with both of you together in it. Sunsets, under the night sky, she draws anything, and every tiny drawing always has both of you in it.
I knew I should've confessed to you before. I admit I'm a coward. I'm beating myself up inside because of that trait. I always swore to myself that one day, I'd tell you how I feel about you deep down in my heart. Every tiny drop of my feelings would've poured into every word I would've told you. I planned to tell you everything on the day that we met her, and she ruined my plans.
And by her, I mean Namine, the new student who instantly caught your longing eyes.
I could tell by how you looked at her on that day that you had fallen for her at first sight. And that for me was like a million needles pricking my heart that it could have been closely related to a cactus.
After that, every time we both hung out, it would always be "Namine this" and "Namine that." I would always force a smile and tease you about it. Instead of telling you my feelings, I encouraged you to go after her. Of course, I was kidding, but, being the Roxas I know, you took what I said literally.
Because a month after, you both started dating.
Supposedly, I would've be happy for you Roxas. You're happiness is my joy. Friends are usually happy about a friend of theirs in a situation like this, but I felt my hatred towards that girl grow and hope for a life together with you die. I wasn't the slightest bit happy when I found out about this. My heart was crushed to bits, which were crushed more into dust and then it was blown by the wind to the realm of oblivion.
Roxas, don't you have any idea how much you mean to me? In the past, I gave you hints of how I felt about you. Like flirting with you jokingly, but other times I was serious. I even placed a small kiss on your cheek once. I guess you just took it as a small kiss between friends.
You're really thick headed, aren't you Roxas? For not noticing at all I mean. I might sound selfish but you're mine. Why can't you see that?
I'll never hate you Roxas, for not loving me instead. I'll remain loyal to you forever. I could never hate you, or even bring myself to leave you. I'll never disappear from your side, even if you disappear from mine, and forget all about me as if I'm just a vague and unimportant memory.
But, despite all this, I'll always hate her. I'll continue to despise her until I die. She took you away from me. She made me cry my eyes out for weeks. She made you break my heart without knowing it.
Answer me Roxas.
Why?
Why her?
A/N's Note: Poor Xi. I feel sorta bad for her, but I just had to post this. e.e
Anyway, there's a continuation called "Too Late" which will be narrated by *cough* my *cough* Roxy.
Anyway II, review?