Matthew was relaxing on the couch, reading with one hand resting on his belly, when felt a slight bump against his hand, bringing a smile to his face. Reaching over to where Ivan sat beside him to grab his hand, he placed it on his belly where he'd felt the baby kick a moment before. Their eyes met, Ivan's show and Matthew's book forgotten. Ivan's eyes were lit with anticipation and excitement. After a few moments had passed, his eyes dulled and then slowly drifted back to the TV.
Aside from meeting their son for the first time, feeling him kick was what Ivan had been looking forward to for the past several months. But any time he touched Matthew, even if the baby was pressed against the spot he touched, he moved. Ivan was beginning to feel like his son didn't like him. He could already see and feel the signs of his depression. Matthew had noticed too, but he didn't know the cause and he didn't know how to approach the subject, even after being with Ivan for years.
The only thing keeping Ivan from falling head first into that pit of darkness was that on occasion he could listen to his son's heartbeat. On nights when Matthew said the little one wouldn't settle down so they could sleep, Ivan would talk to him, and then once he'd settled, he'd rest his head gently on Matthew's belly and listen to his heartbeat, with Matthew's fingers dragging through his hair until they fell asleep. Tonight was one of these nights.
They were laying in bed, Ivan with his head on Matthew's tummy, and Matthew was running his finger's through his husband's hair soothingly. They were both drifting off when Ivan felt something smack against his ear. He sat up quickly, his eyes wide and a smile quickly spreading across his face. Their son just kicked him! Then he registered the pain - the little guy had a strong kick. Matthew just grinned, and Ivan leaned down and kissed him before relaxing back at his side, his hand on Matthew's tummy again.