It had been 11 months since Peeta's return and we were slowly making a return to normalicy. If that state even existed for us anymore. We had developed a consistent routine. He would bake each morning, I would hunt. I would prepare my kill, he would make it in to something far more edible than I could ever hope to. Eventually Sae stopped coming by, we didn't need to use her as a safety net anymore. After dinner we would work on the memory book. We would try to recall as many memories of our loved ones as possible and usually it ended in tears, but we soldiered on. We owed it to them to remember. Peeta would draw next to what we had written and we would spend time talking about it before moving on. Sometimes haymitch would join us and sometimes he wouldn't. Night time was still difficult for both of us. The nightmares and hijacked memories often threatened to consume us but we had eachother and Peeta assured me that as long as we had eachother we could make it through anything. Usually when one of us woke up screaming from dreams of Mutts and firey, gruesome death it took only the others comforting arms and words of reassurance to bring us back to reality. But there were still days when it kept me cowering in bed or Peeta cold and distant. For the most part though things were getting better. Most days we would stick to our routine. Lately though the routine had begun to wear on me. What first seemed like a struggle to acheive was now becoming repetitive and perhaps a little TOO predictable. I was beginning to think that maybe if we were destined to live we might want to get actual lives. But just as soon as those thoughts would enter my head they would be replaced by guilt and horror at the thought that I could ever move on without them. Today was a morning like any other. I sat at the table while Peeta made me cheese buns. I wasn't sure if I had the courage inside of me to say what I wanted to say. I had obviously never been one with words but I needed to get it out.

"Prim" I said.

Peeta stopped and turned to look at me. "Prim?" he asked.

"Yes. I was...I was thinking about her and I just thought...Well she would want me, us, to be happy, right? To live a good life?"

Peeta smiled as he thought about what I had said, "Yes. I think she would. I know she would Kat. She would want you to LIVE. To smile and laugh and enjoy things again".

"I know she would too," I got up and walked towards him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and put my head against his chest, "and I'm trying Peeta. But sometimes it's so hard. I feel like I'm betraying her. Why should I get to smile or laugh or enjoy things? Prim will...she'll never get to do those things and neither will Finn or Boggs or Mags or any of them! It doesn't seem fair...I feel like I don't deserve it".

He kissed the top of my head. "You do deserve it Katniss. And it's not betraying them, it's honoring them. Honoring what they gave up so that we could go on. We owe it to them to live, to be ok." He sighed and held me tighter. "What brough this on?" he asked.

"I've just been thinking."

He leaned back so that he could look in to my eyes, "About what?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe that this...routine we've created has been great...it's brought us back toether, it's made things mean something again...but..." I struggled to find the words, "but maybe it's time we forget the routine and just...live".

`Just live. Well Miss Everdeen I think that may just be the best idea you`ve ever had," he teased. He smiled again and brought his lips towards mine. Kissing Peeta is something that has gone from simple comfort to outright need. I NEED to feel his lips on mine, feel his hands find their way to my hips. I Need to hear that sound me makes when my tongue darts out to caress his bottom lip. Like with our fauthful routine, I needed the change in our relationship that brought us to this point.

"How do we do this?" he asked when we finally broke apart, "What changes?"

"Well," I said, "I don't know if we need to really decide that. I think maybe we just...do what comes naturally."

"Am I still allowed to bake you cheese buns?," he laughed, "Because that was part of the routine and if we're breaking away from the routine maybe we shou-" I silenced him with a kiss.

"Don't you dare threaten me with cheese buns Peeta Mellark," I smiled.

"Alright," he grinned, "the cheese buns can stay. The rest of it is up in the air".

"Agreed," I smiled back and leaned in for another kiss.